The pangs and transformations of love constantly dance within my heart. I
quarrel with Gaura every day, and thus I am known as "Angry Jagai".
gelama vraja dekhibare
rahi sanatanera ghare
kalaha karinu tara sane
sire bandhi' aila dhira
bhatera handi marite kainu mane 
I went to see Vraja, and while staying at Sanatan's place, I quarrelled with
him. When he tied a sannyasi's red cloth on his head and calmly came before
me, I decided to beat him with a rice pot.
sanatanera vinaya dekhe
chhadi' tare eka pake
lajjaya basinu eka dhare
gaura mora yata jane
amaya pathaya vrndavane
maja dekhe thaki' nije dure 
When I saw Sanatan's humility, I left him alone and shamefully sat to one
side. My Gaura knows everything: He sent me to Vrindavan and observed the
result from afar.
bhala tara ha-uka sukha
mora ha-uka chira duhkha
tara sukhe habe mora sukha
ami kandi ratra-dine
gaura-vichchheda bhavi' mane
gaura hase dekhi' kanda mukha 
Good! He can be happy, and I can be sad forever. His happiness will be my
happiness. Night and day I cry, feeling separation from Gaura, but Gaura
laughs seeing my crying face.
"Good, let Him be happy! I am happy if He is happy—even if I worry, as
long as He is happy it is good. I am crying the whole day and night because
of separation from Gauranga Mahaprabhu, but Gaura laughs when He sees that I
am sad, He begins to joke. If seeing my happiness or misery makes Him happy,
good—if I am unhappy it is not a problem for me, as long as He is happy
it is OK, I am happy."
sei ta' kapata-nyasi
tara lila bhalavasi
madhu-makha kathaguli tara
ye bhava vrajete bheve
punah sei bhava ebe
bujheo na bujhi ara bara 
He is a deceitful sannyasi, but I love His Pastimes. His words are full of
nectar. The Lord is now feeling the same mood that He felt in Vraja. Although
I understand this, sometimes I do not.
"He became a sannyasi, but He is actually not a sannyasi, He is the Lord Himself."
chandanadi taila ani'
banka banka katha suni'
taila-bhanda bhangilama bale
mana kari' nijasane
suna rainu anasane
se mana bhangila nana chhale 
I brought some sandalwood oil for Him, but after hearing His stubborn
remarks, I smashed the pot of oil. Angrily, I layed on my bed fasting, but He
pacified my anger with various pleas.
amare karaya paka
anna-vyanjana abona saka
bale, "krodhera paka bada mista"
badaya amara rosa
tate tara santosa
tara prasannata mora ista 
He had me cook rice, vegetables, and wild spinach. He said, "Your angry
cooking is very sweet." He increased my anger and so was pleased. His
satisfaction is my desire.
"He made me angry, OK, no problem for me, His satisfaction is my desire." You
must think about it. How beautiful this is!
yaite kainu vrndavana
tate more rakhe boka kari'
balya buddhi dekhi' tara
chitte haya chamatkara
ami tara pada-padma dhari' 
Once, Sanatan asked me for advice, and I told him to go to Vrindavan. The
Lord called me a fool for this. Seeing His childish mentality, I was amazed
at heart, and I grasped His lotus feet.
vrndavana yaite chai
tate ajna nahi pai
nana chhala kare mora sane
yakhana kondala haya
navadvipe yete kaya
sei tara krpa jani mane 
I wanted to go to Vrindavan, but I did not receive His permission: He gave me
various excuses. When we quarrelled, however, He told me to go to Nabadwip,
and I accepted that as His mercy.
matr-ajna chhala kari'
nija-dhama chhadiya ekhana
tate pathaya nija-pure
yahake se krpa kare
yena gopera goloka-darsana 
He left His home, and on the pretext of His mother's order, He is now in
Jagannath Puri. He sends those whom He blesses to His abode, where they can
behold Goloka as the cowherd men did.
Nabadwip is Goloka, and Puri is Vaikuntha. Vaikuntha is the place of
four-handed Narayan, and Goloka is the place of Lord Krishna. There is Viraja
River, over that is Brahma-loka, and over that is the spiritual plane:
Vaikuntha and Goloka. In Vaikuntha devotees worship the chatur-bhuja form of
Lord Narayan. Nrisinghadev also stays there, Rama avatar, Varaha avatar, and
others, Prahlad Maharaj is also in Vaikunta; and in Goloka there is Krishna,
there in the company of gopis devotees do personal service, antaranga
Question: Do we come back to Vaikuntha?
No, we do not have to go there. Rasa, exclusive service is only in
Goloka—only in Vrindavan you can get the santa, dasya, sakhya,
vatsalya, madhura rasas (neutral service, service as a servant, friend,
ei bhave gaura-seva
kari ami ratra-diva
gaura-ganera ei ta' svabhava
amara ta' sampada
damodara jnane ei bhava 
In this way, I serve Gaura night and day. This is the nature of Gaura's
associates. The feet of Gaura and Gadadhar are my wealth. Svarup Damodar
understands this mood.