AFFECTIONATE GUIDANCE: CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Message to Massage
Devotee: Please give some words to the devotees around the world about remembering Koladwip, Nabadwip and Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math.
Srila Govinda Maharaj: Srila Guru Maharaj organised this Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math for conditioned souls like ourselves, otherwise it was not necessary to organise a math. Also he did not want to make a mission; that is, he came with his Deity, Giridhari—Giriraj-Govardhan—and he himself worshipped Him with Tulasi and water.
The mission itself came as a blessing for us, and now Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math is a very wide mission. The definition of missionary work is that it is always doing good for others. We know that the only good thing is to practise Krishna consciousness. In this mundane world that is the only light of life, the only elixir of life. All the Godbrothers and followers must be benefited if we can give proper honour to our mission and our missionary work. My friends, Godbrothers and followers are trying heart and soul, and I believe they will certainly get the mercy of Sriman Nityananda Prabhu and Mahaprabhu. Many of them are very exalted devotees in our sampradaya. I am always praising them, and it is necessary to give nourishment to the other devotees also.
There are classifications of devotees: first class, second class and general class. But all are worhipable, and when we can see it, we ourselves will be benefited. They are all connected with Mahaprabhu and Krishna consciousness, therefore if anyone will come in this line we shall give good nourishment to them. A heart massage. A message to massage.
Always the devotees are asking questions; that is they need to know something. And I believe whole-heartedly that the devotees want to hear news of the devotees and activities from this Math. Sometimes when I am alone I try to consider why I cannot sleep at night, and what is it that Srila Guru Maharaj requires of me.
I do not want any sort of position, but the chair of Acharyya has come to me, and I must serve that chair. It was for this that Srila Guru Maharaj protected me from a young age and cultivated me in my mind, and I must offer all the fruits to his lotus feet otherwise my life is useless. This is my feeling, and this is also the answer to why I am doing this.
With what I have I can continue very happily, and in one sense it is not necessary to think of many things. For example, world preaching especially in this age is very difficult, and I know it, but also I know that my Srila Guru Maharaj needs it. It is seva to him. There is no doubt that everybody shall die one day, so if we give too much attention for our health, it is not good for us. Actually we must give our attention for the service of Guru-Gauranga, and if we leave this body through that service, it is very good. In fact there is no higher good than that. In this regard we shall not forget the words of Sripad Saranga Goswami Maharaj when he told Sripad Hrday Bon Maharaj, "I want to die in harness."
Sripad Bon Maharaj was a friend of Goswami Maharaj and he suggested to Goswami Maharaj, "Oh Goswami, you have spent your whole life preaching. Now you are old, so come and do some bhajan!"
Sripad Goswami Maharaj was very angry and thought: "What I am doing is not bhajan? What are you thinking? This is my bhajan. I am serving Krishna, serving Mahaprabhu and serving my Guru. This preaching is my bhajan but you think that to chant on beads in the jungle is bhajan." Though he thought this, Sripad Goswami simply replied in summary to Sripad Bon Maharaj, "I want to die in harness."
Srila Guru Maharaj quoted this expression many times to me, and instructed me never to forget it: "I want to die in harness." Even the very last moment of our lifetime we shall not spend for any other purpose. We want to offer even that to our Gurudev.
I am very happy to remember that, and whenever I am in very much difficulty I think that Krishna wants to take my blood, and He will not spare even the last drop of blood. And if it is His wish, He will take it.
Actually I am very renounced by nature, and sometimes it would come in my mind that I shall leave everything. But suddenly I would be reminded that Srila Guru Maharaj does not want me to do that. Seeing my renounced nature Srila Guru Maharaj was very fearful. Until I finally took sannyas, Srila Guru Maharaj did not make his final Will and Testament. A few days ago I read an earlier will. Perhaps he was very sick at that time, anyhow Srila Guru Maharaj added in his own handwriting that now his health was very bad and he may die. He wrote that if Govinda Maharaj will take sannyas he must be the Acharyya here, and he wrote that if he should pass away before Govinda Maharaj takes sannyas, everyone will wait five years for him to take the renounced order of life. He will then take the Acharyya's position; but in the meantime none else will take that position of Acharyya of Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math. Only if Govinda Maharaj does not take sannyas within that five years will another be selected as Acharyya. This was his instruction, and remembering how very eager Srila Guru Maharaj was for me to take this service, if I shall not do this service then I must go to hell. Therefore I cannot leave the seva of Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math. Until my death I cannot leave the service of his Deities, devotees and Math.
In this way I am continuing, and now devotees are coming and inviting me all over the world. I know there is so much difficulty to go there, but for the service to Srila Guru Maharaj I must accept their invitations. I still have life in my body, so until death I shall try in this line of service.
Section 1 — 'Siddhanta'
Section 3 — 'Our Devotional Line'
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