SRI SRI PREMA-VIVARTA: CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Eagerness to see Sri Gaura
gauranga–O Gauranga! chhadiya–I left tomara–Your charana–feet [and] chalinu–went sri-vrndavane–to Sri Vrindavan. baliya–Thinking dekhiba–I would see tava–Your purva-lila–previous Pastimes, amara mane ha-ila–I decided [to go there]. 
O Gauranga! I left Your feet and went to Vrindavan. Thinking I would see Your previous Pastimes, I decided to go there.
kena–Why amara sei bhava ha-ila–did I think that? ekhana–Now kandiya–I am crying [and] mari–dying. dekhi' na–Not seeing tomare–You, [my] prana–heart chhadi' yaya–is leaving [me]. jani na–I do not know ki kari–what to do ebe–now. 
Why did I think that? Now I am crying and dying. Not seeing You, my heart is leaving me. I do not know what to do now.
o ranga charana–Your reddish feet [are] mama–my prana–life [and] dhana–wealth, [but] rakhi'–I left [them] samudra-balite–on the sand beside the ocean; ki–what ainu–have I come [here] dekhite–to see? nija matha khainu–I indulged my mind, [and now] prana-pakhi–the bird of my heart [is] udu udu–anxious to fly [away]. 
Your reddish feet are my life and wealth, but I left them on the sand beside the ocean; what have I come here to see? I indulged my mind, and now the bird of my heart is anxious to fly away.
yata–As far as chali' yai–I go on, [my] mana–heart chale nahi–does not proceed. tabu–Still, yai–I go on jeda kari'–stubbornly. vivarta–Transformations premera–of love amare nachaya–make me dance, [but] bujhiya na–not understanding [them,] ami–I mari–am dying. 
Although I go on, my heart does not. Still, I go on stubbornly ...Transformations of love make me dance, but, not understanding them, I am dying.
narinu–I could not bujhite–understand gaurangera–Gauranga's ranga–Pastimes, [and] padinu–I have fallen duhkha-sagare–into an ocean of sorrow. pai nahi–I do not get taha yaha–that which ami–I chai–want. ye kemana–How might mana kare–[my] heart act? 
Failing to understand Gauranga's Pastimes, I have fallen into an ocean of sorrow. I do not get what I want; what is my heart going to do now?
yai–I go dite–to give [my] prana–life gaurangera tare–to Gauranga tabu–but marana haya na–I do not die. baliya–I decide mariba–I will die [and] padiya–I jump samudre–into the ocean [but] matra habudubu khai–I only flounder in the water. 
I go to give my life to Gauranga, but I do not die. I decide to die and jump into the ocean, but I only flounder in the water.
lobhe–Anxious dekhibara–to see se chandra-vadana–His moon-like face, sighra uthi–I quickly get up sindhu-tate–on the shore of the ocean. punah–Again, dekhi' nahi–not seeing [Him, my] prana–heart udi' yaya–flies [up, and] chali–I run punah tota-vate–back down the path to the garden. 
Anxious to see His moon-like face, I quickly return to the shore. Again, not seeing Him, my heart flies up, and I run back down the path to the garden.
dekhi'–Seeing gora-mukha–Gora's face gopinathangane–in the courtyard of Gopinath, achetana hana padi–I fell unconscious. pandita gosani–Gadadhar Pandit lana rakhe–took care more–of me, [and then] dekhi–I saw [that] samjna pana–I was conscious punah–again. 
Seeing Gora's face in the courtyard of Gopinath, I fell unconscious. Gadadhar Pandit took care of me, and then I saw that I was conscious again.
gaura gadadhara–Gaura and Gadadhar basiya–were sitting [and] dujane–the two of Them balena–where speaking amara katha–about me, [and] amani–all of a sudden kandiya–I [began to] cry [and] gadagadi yai–rolled on the ground, vichari na–not considering yatha tatha–here from there. 
Gaura and Gadadhar were sitting and speaking about me, and all of a sudden, I began to cry and roll on the ground, unaware of where I was.
pari na–I cannot sahite–tolerate ksaneka–a moment viraha–of separation [as] gaura–Gaura nache–dances mora hrde–in my heart. deya na–He does not allow [me] marite–to die, [but] vanchile–when I live, kondala–we quarrel. kise–How [can] mora–my prana–heart vanche–live? 
I cannot tolerate a moment of separation as Gaura dances in my heart. He does not let me die, but when I live, we quarrel. How does my life go on?
hena avasthaya–In this condition, chhadi'–I left gaura-pada–Gaura's feet [and] mora asa–came vrndavane–to Vrindavan. jani nahi–I do not know kena–why e buddhi ha-ila–this decision was made, [but now my] iha-para-loka-nasa–present and future [are] ruined. 
In this condition, I left Gaura's feet and came to Vrindavan. I do not know what made me do this, but now my present and future are ruined.
la-inu–I took ajna–permission yaite–to go, [and] palile na–if I don't act according [to this] ajna–permission, tate–then aparadha haya–I will commit an offence. [But] dekhiya na–not seeing gorachanna-mukha–Gorachand's face, mari–I am dying. mora badha–I have obstacles saba dike–in all directions! 
I took permission to go, and if I don't do so accordingly, I will commit an offence. But not seeing Gorachand's face, I am dying; there are obstacles all around me!
tahara yara–Those who have gora-prema–love for Gora [undergo] sankata–distress. [That love] prana lana tanatani–pulls [their] hearts in opposite directions [simultaneously]. sabe–Everyone kanakani kare–whispers [that] ei ta'–this [is] durdasa–the miserable state gadadhara-gane–of Gadadhar's associates. 
Those who have love for Gora undergo distress: that love pulls their hearts in opposite directions simultaneously. Everyone whispers that this is the miserable state of Gadadhar's associates.
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