SRI SRI PREMA-VIVARTA: CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Contradictory Transformations

 

Seeing Vrindavan by seeing Nabadwip
(navadvipa-darsane vrndavana-darsana)

bhai-re
vrndavane yaoya ara halo na [1]

bhai-re–O brother, ara yaoya halo na–I could not continue vrndavane–to Vrindavan. [1]

O brother, I could not continue to Vrindavan.

gora-mukha na dekhiyagora-rupa dheyaiya
patha bhuli' yai anya desa
sekhana ha-ite phiri'punah yai dhiri dhiri
punah asi' dekhi se pradesa [2]

dekhiya na–I had not seen gora-mukha–Gora's face, [and so] dheyaiya–was meditating gora-rupa–on Gora's form; bhuli'–I lost patha–the way [and] yai–went anya desa–elsewhere. phiri'–Turning around ha-ite–from sekhana–there, yai punah–I went on dhiri dhiri–slowly. [When] punah asi'–I came back, dekhi–I saw se pradesa–the same place. [2]

I had not seen Gora's face and so was meditating on His form; I lost the way and went in the wrong direction. I turned back and slowly went on. When I came back, I saw I was in the same place!

ei-rupe kata dineyaba ami vrndavane
na jani ki habe dasa mora
vrksa-tale basi' basi'kati ami ahar-nisi
kabhu mora nidra ase ghora [3]

ei-rupe–In this way, kata dine–for many days, [I thought,] ami–I yaba–would go vrndavane–to Vrindavan, [but] jani na–I did not know ki–what mora dasa habe–condition would befall me. ami–I kati–passed ahar-nisi–days and nights basi' basi'–sitting vrksa-tale–under trees, [and] kabhu–sometimes mora ghora nidra ase–I slept heavily. [3]

In this way, for many days I thought I would go to Vrindavan, but I did not know what would become of me. I passed days and nights sitting under trees, and sometimes I slept heavily.

svapne bahu dure giyasindhu-tate pravesiya
dekhi gorara apurva nartana
gadadhara nache sangebhakta-gana nache range
gaya gita amrta varsana [4]

svapne–In a dream, giya–I went bahu dure–a long way, pravesiya–arrived sindhu-tate–at the shore of the ocean, [where] dekhi–I saw gorara–Gora's apurva–wonderful nartana–dancing. gadadhara–Gadadhar nache–danced sange–with [Him]. bhakta-gana–The devotees nache–danced range–joyfully, [and] gaya–they sang gita–songs [that were like] amrta varsana–showers of nectar. [4]

In a dream, I walked a long way and arrived at the shore of the ocean, where I saw Gora's wonderful dancing. Gadadhar and the devotees joyfully danced with Him, and they sang songs that were like showers of nectar.

nrtya-gita-avasanegora mora hata tane
bale, "tumi krodhe chhadi' gele
amara ki dosa balatava chitta suchanchala
vraje gele ama hetha phele [5]

nrtya-gita-avasane–When they finished dancing and singing, gora–Gora tane–pulled mora–my hata–hand [and] bale–said, "tumi–"You chhadi' gele–left krodhe–in anger. bala–Tell [Me,] ki–what [was] amara–My dosa–fault? tava–Your chitta–heart [is] suchanchala–so fickle: phele–you left ama–Me hetha–here [and] gele–went vraje–to Vraja! [5]

When they finished dancing and singing, Gora took my hand and said, "You left in anger. Tell Me, what was My fault? Your heart is so fickle: you left Me here and went to Vraja!

aisa alingana karitava vakse vaksa dhari'
chhando muni chittera vikara
madhyahne kariya pakadeha more anna saka
ksun-nivrtti ha-uk amara [6]

aisa–Come! alingana kari–I will embrace [you]. dhari'–Holding [My] vaksa–chest tava vakse–to your chest, muni–I chhando–will give up [My] chittera vikara–anxiety. paka kariya–Cook madhyahne–at midday [and] deha–give more–Me anna–some rice [and] saka–spinach [so that] amara–My ksun-nivrtti ha-uk–hunger will [also] be relieved. [6]

"Come! Let Me embrace you, let Me hold your chest to Mine, then My anxiety will go away. Cook at midday and give Me some rice and spinach so that My hunger will also be relieved.

chhadiya jagadanandemora mana niranande
bhojanadi la-ila kata dina
ki bujhiya gele tumiduhkhete padinu ami
jaga more sada daya-hina [7]

jagadanande–O Jagadananda! chhadiya–after [your] leaving, bhojanadi la-ila–I ate, slept, and so on, kata dina–for many days [while] mora–My mana–heart [was] niranande–unhappy. ki bujhiya–With what understanding tumi gele–did you leave [Me]? ami–I padinu–slumped duhkhete–in sadness: jaga–Jaga [is] sada–always daya-hina–merciless more–to Me. [7]

"O Jagadananda, after you left, I ate and slept for many days with an unhappy heart. Why did you leave Me? I slumped into sadness: Jaga is always merciless to Me.

sighra vraja nirakhiyaaisa tumi sukhi hana
more deha sakanna vyanjana
tabe ta' vanchiba amitate sukhi habe tumi
krodhe more na chhada kakhana" [8]

sighra–Quickly nirakhiya–see vraja–Vraja, tumi aisa–come back sukhi hana–feeling happy, [and] deha–offer more–Me sakanna–some rice, spinach, [and] vyanjana–vegetables. tabe ta'–Then ami–I vanchiba–will live, [and] tate–thereby sukhi habe–you will [also] be happy. tumi kakhana chhada na–Never leave more–Me krodhe"–out of anger." [8]

"Quickly see Vraja, come back happy, and offer Me some rice, spinach, and vegetables. Then I will be able to live, and you will also be happy. Never leave Me out of anger again."

nidra bhangi' dekhi amibahu-dura vraja-bhumi
nikatete jahnavi-puline
aha! navadvipa-dhamanitya-gaura-lila-grama
vraja-sara ati samichina [9]

ami–I nidra bhangi'–suddenly awoke [and] dekhi–saw [that I was] nikatete–near jahnavi-puline–the bank of the Ganges, bahu-dura–far away vraja-bhumi–from the land of Vraja. aha!–Oh! navadvipa-dhama–Nabadwip Dham! nitya-gaura-lila-grama–The eternal abode of Gaura's Pastimes! ati samichina–The perfect vraja-sara–essence of Vraja! [9]

I suddenly awoke and saw that I was on the bank of the Ganges, far away from the land of Vraja. Oh! Nabadwip Dham! The eternal abode of Gaura's Pastimes! The perfect essence of Vraja!

anandete mayapurepravesinu antahpure
nami ami ai-mata-pada
gaurangera katha bali'sighra ailama chali'
dekhi navadvipa-susampada [10]

anandete–Overjoyed [to be] mayapure–in Mayapur, pravesinu–I entered antahpure–the inner apartment [of the Lord's house and] nami–bowed ai-mata-pada–at the feet of Mother Sachi. bali'–I spoke gaurangera katha–Gauranga's message, sighra–quickly chali' ailama–came out, [and] dekhi–saw navadvipa-susampada–the divine opulence of Nabadwip. [10]

Overjoyed to be in Mayapur, I entered the inner apartment of the Lord's house and bowed at the feet of Mother Ai. I explained what Gauranga had told me, quickly came out, and saw the divine opulence of Nabadwip.

bhavilama vrndavanakarilama darasana
ara kena yau dura desa
gaura darasana kari'saba duhkha parihari'
chhadi' diba virahaja-klesa [11]

bhavilama–I felt [that] darasana karilama–I had seen vrndavana–Vrindavan, [so] ara kena–why again yau–should I go dura desa–to that faraway land? darasana kari'–I will meet gaura–Gaura, parihari'–give up saba–all [my] duhkha–sadness, [and] chhadi' diba–leave behind virahaja-klesa–the sorrow produced by separation. [11]

I felt that I had already seen Vrindavan, so why should I now go to that faraway land? Instead, I will go to meet Gaura, give up all my sadness, and leave behind the sorrow of separation.

 

⇐ CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
"Eagerness to see Sri Gaura"

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
"Morning Pastimes in Nabadwip" ⇒

 

CONTENTS:

Translator's Note
Introduction
In Praise of Sri Sri Prema-vivarta
Sri Sri Prema-vivarta:
1 Invocation of Auspiciousness
2 The Composition of this Book
3 First Obeisances
4 Gaura's Greatness
5 Transformations of Ecstasy in Service
6 The Journey of the Soul
7 The Name is for Everyone
8 Give up Deceit
9 Proper Renunciation
10 Caste and Class
11 The Light of Nabadwip
12 Glories of the Vaisnavas
13 Eagerness to see Sri Gaura
14 Contradictory Transformations
15 Morning Pastimes in Nabadwip
16 What is Love?
17 Different Practices for Different Devotees
18 Sri Ekadasi
19 A Collection of Hidden Truths about the Name
20 The Glories of the Name
+ The Ten Offences to the Holy Name
+ Glossary

"HUMILITY, TOLERANCE, GIVING HONOUR TO OTHERS | HUMILITY, TOLERANCE, GIVING HONOUR TO OTHERS"