Curb Your Curiosity

Srila Guru Maharaj (Srila B.R. Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj) always said, 'I cannot stay here anymore. All my godbrothers are gone, then I do not like to stay here... Govinda Maharaj, please release me. I am not happy to stay here now. You have taken all charge, that is enough for me – now I want to leave.' He often spoke like that during his last year.

Srila Guru Maharaj had a very exalted position, but he gave high respect to all his godbrothers, even to those who had no position in Gaudiya Mission (because they were his godbrothers, he gave respect to them). There were also very junior godbrothers, like Satish Prabhu, but Srila Guru Maharaj gave affection even to them. Why did he have so much affection for his godbrothers? Because when he saw them, he remembered his Guru Maharaj. He would say, 'He is a disciple of my Guru Maharaj, a son of my Guru Maharaj, so he is my transcendental brother.' We saw how much affection he gave to everyone. Sometimes, he also chastised his godbrothers, but even his chastisement was very affectionate.

We do not know how many more years we will be in this mundane world, maybe a few years, maybe not, but we have some prospect, and if we try our best to practise Krishna consciousness – to follow the conception of Sril Guru Maharaj – then we must be benefitted: maybe after one day, maybe after five days or maybe after five or ten years; but if we try our best, it is good. What more can I say?

During the last two years when Srila Guru Maharaj wanted to leave, I only prayed to him, 'Maharaj, it is not necessary to think about any affairs of Chaitanya Saraswat Math. Nothing is necessary, only stay here; that is enough for us.' And Srila Guru Maharaj would just smile and say, 'I cannot tolerate this separation from my affectionate godbrothers, but you are telling me to stay...'

Oh, it is a heavy duty... Actually I cannot bear it – I feel very burdened. But what can I do? I have no other way. I must maintain this until death; that is my duty. What can I do? There can be some mistake or something wrong in what I am doing, but I must proceed. I have no other way but to proceed. I must try to proceed. I am only trying, together with all my affectionate godbrothers and followers of Srila Guru Maharaj. Actually, I know how much I am doing and how much I am maintaining, but anyhow I am trying heart and soul. Sometimes, I feel very hopeless, and sometimes I become very enthusiastic. Srila Prabhupad Saraswati Thakur used this phrase 'love and rupture': love and rupture can come in our lives, but we cannot leave Krishna consciousness.

There are only two things that can disturb us, nothing else – only money and women. But they cannot disturb me now. My position – jay Guru Maharaj! – is settled now, but some difficulty can certainly come to others. Sometimes, *** Maharaj says that he is not getting enthusiasm. I understand that it is my duty to see how he will get enthusiasm, but the problem is that he does not speak to me so much, so I cannot understand what his problem is. I want to clear the problem for him, but I cannot understand fully what his problem is. Many problems can come in many ways. Because he does not speak to me freely, I can only guess: maybe this, maybe that, maybe that In general, he is a good devotee, he has a sweet heart and very nice speaking power – he can preach, but what will he preach? That is the problem. He was born in a sahajiya family, so it is very hard. The first teaching Srila Guru Maharaj told me was 'Do not do what your mind wants to do. Do not listen to your mind.' But they did not get that kind of preaching from Srila Guru Maharaj.

The first lesson is very hard. My Guru Maharaj taught me that lesson. He wanted to make a successor, so that was the first thing he preached to me. I cannot forget it. He said, 'Do not listen to your mind. You must listen to what I say. Can you accept it?' I said, 'Yes!' At that time, I always said 'yes'. That was my mood. I could not say 'no'. Whatever was necessary to do, however hard it could be, I always said, 'Yes!'

One day, a cork fell through the neck of a bottle, and Srila Guru Maharaj could not take it out. He immediately called for me. 'Hey, Gaurendu, come here! Can you take this cork out of the bottle?' I said, 'Yes!' Srila Guru Maharaj asked, 'How are you going to do it?' He thought that I would put some iron stick inside, prick the cork with it and try to take it out like that, but I did not do that. Instead, I took a thin thread, made a loop and put it inside the bottle. Then, I managed to catch the cork and pull it out with the thread. Srila Guru Maharaj said, 'Oh, you are very intelligent!' It was a very small thing, but I can still remember the happiness it gave him that day. He thought, 'This boy can do it. He not only says it by mouth, but he does it (he shows it with his actions).'

Actually, I was very restless. I could not sit still in one place. I did not have the stamina to only sit and listen. Order me, and I shall do it. Order me, and I shall do it. That was my mood. And when there was no order, I became restless. There was a very long bamboo pole at the place where our temple stands now – Srila Guru Maharaj had installed it with a flag on top of it. One time, I had nothing to do. I thought, 'What shall I do?' I went climbing that bamboo pole! Srila Guru Maharaj and Srila Madhav Maharaj were talking at that time, and Srila Madhav Maharaj noticed me. I went up the pole and – SSSSTTTTTT! – went down, then again went up and – SSSSTTTTTT! – went down. Amused, Srila Madhav Maharaj told Srila Guru Maharaj, 'This body is very energetic! I like it very much!' Srila Guru Maharaj laughed, 'Yes, he is very restless (chanchal, চঞ্চল)!'

I also had much curiosity, and that curiosity ended up causing a big problem for me, that is why I am telling all my godbrothers and affectionate friends, 'Do not show much curiosity. Curiosity is bad.'

Devotee: There is a saying in English, 'Curiosity killed the cat.'

Yes. Curiosity killed the cat, and I am an example of that. It is not necessary to know everything. That is also why I am not so eager to go on a world tour, but as it is my duty, I may go there in the future. But many people are curious, 'What are women like?', 'I want to see London!', 'What is London like?' If you know nothing, that is OK.

Sometimes, I also think that I shall send somebody else abroad instead of me. For example, *** Maharaj can speak Hari-katha nicely, but he should learn more about Srila Guru Maharaj's conception. I told him, 'Read Srila Guru Maharaj's books, and if you have any questions, please come to me,' but he is busy with his job, so he is not getting a chance to do that...

 — : • : — 

<<< Back to the main page

Other discourses by His Divine Grace:

• Chayoa ("A Wish")
• The Wonderful Nature of the Vaisnava
• Sripad Bhakti Vichar Jajavar Maharaj
• A Miracle and Wealth of Our Mission
• Sripad Rishabdev Prabhu: A Miracle Personality
• Sri Gaurahari Bhakti Sampad Prabhu
• On the Appearance Day of Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur
• Sri Ramananda Ray Prabhu
• The Greatest Gift of Sri Vedavyas
• A Separation Day
• Mahaprabhu's Directives
• "Do Not Despair"
• The Pain of Broken Hearts
• Sincerity and Chastity
• "Merry Christmas"

Many more books and publications are available in the Library