— { HEART AND HALO } —

PART TWO: THE WAY HOME

CHAPTER SEVEN:
HEART AND HALO

The prejudice of our past experience, caught within us in a subtle form, has covered, like dust, the eye of our soul. Our inner vision is densely covered with the dust of many different misconceptions of separate interest, causing us to ignore the universal interest.

This mental cover is made up of the prejudices of local and provincial interest, and it keeps us from seeing reality: visaya-dhulite kemane se paratattva paiye dekhite. How will a person be able to read the universal wave when his mind is fully engrossed with local interest of different kinds? How can one detect the universal interest, the universal wave? Only one who has fully eliminated all kinds of local interest, and is eager to understand the universal wave, can see it clearly.

Arthesv abhijnah svarat: what is the purpose of the movement of this world? The answer is clear: “For itself.” Reality is for itself; not to satisfy many, but to satisfy One. All the waves are meant to satisfy that One, and if we can put ourself on that level we can understand the truth; otherwise we are all cheaters.

We are far from the truth when we cannot see that everything, all waves are flowing towards the satisfaction of One, svayam bhagavan. We are labouring under a deception; we are deceivers who are not just deceiving ourself but the world also. We are guilty of misunderstanding everything and of carrying that false knowledge to others. Everyone, all the baddha jivas, are more or less cheaters. That is our position and we must be relieved of such misunderstanding, such deception of our own self as well as of the environment, if we are to be placed in our proper position.

Then we can go there and find that universal wave, see it: darsan. Darsan means ‘to see,’ and how to see, that must be learned. What to see, how to read what is going on, in myself and outside, that is proper understanding and proper education. A proper understanding of one’s own self and also of the environment is proper education. Education must be Vedic. The standard must be drawn from outside this area of maya, misunderstanding; it must be drawn from the perfect realm through Veda, revealed truth.

We must accept revealed truth and bid farewell to so-called scientific knowledge and other kinds of perceptions, which are all erroneous, based on false experience and false information. “It belongs to me; it belongs to him; it belongs to them”: this calculation is all false. So we have to be relieved, we have to get wholesale relief from this mania, this misconception. And not only must we get relief from the misconception, from misunderstanding the external waves, but we must attain a positive position, to learn to understand the wave, the vibration of Goloka. Goloka is the most universal, most fundamental plane, and if we can harmonise ourselves with that plane we will be led to Vrindavan, or Nabadwip, and there we shall see things as they are.

Some are more attracted to Krishna-lila, others more towards Nabadwip-lila, and others have an inclination to be accommodated in both places. In Krishna-lila also some are attracted to Radharani’s camp, some to Krishna’s camp and some are holding the middle position. We find this sort of division, and that is necessary for the lila, by the arrangement of yoga-maya. So, in the highest plane, we find two kinds of pastimes, Krishna-lila and Gaura-lila, and they are of the same value. In one there is transaction within a ‘limited’ camp and in the other there is transaction, along with a tendency towards distribution to others. But they are of the same value. That which is being distributed, and that which is being enjoyed are of one and the same value of ecstasy, sweetness, love and beauty. Some are more attracted to the one lila, some to the other.

Within Gaura-lila also, we find those like Narahari Sarkara and his followers, who were more given to Krishna than Gauranga, and others who are more inclined towards Gauranga than to Krishna. This is all by the grant of the Lord, the Supreme will—His lila.

In Gaura-lila, Gadadhar Pandit is holding the helm, everything belongs to him; still he has to admit he’s dispossessed, that Gauranga has taken everything! He is exhaustively dedicated to Gauranga. So Srila Kaviraja Goswami says: teho laksmi-rupa, tara sama keha nai, that he represents the main potency of Gauranga, and no one is to be compared with him. This is the conclusion of Srila Kaviraj Goswami about Sri Gadadhar. He is gaura-premamaya, the embodiment of Sri Gaura’s love.

Gadadhar Das represents the halo of Radharani, but Gadadhar Pandit represents Her mood, Her nature—Her heart.*

* [In the Sri Chaitanya-caritamrta purports by Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami (Adi-lila, 10.15) it is stated that Srila Gadadhar Pandit, the fourth branch of the Chaitanya tree, is the combination of Srimati Radharani and Lalita-sakhi. In the Pancha-Tattva, Srila Gadadhar Pandit represents the internal potency or pleasure potency of the Lord. In Adi-lila 10.53, it is explained that Srila Gadadhar Das, the twenty-third branch of the Chaitanya tree, is considered to be a united form of Chandrakanti, who is the effulgence of Srimati Radharani, and Purnananda, who is the foremost of Lord Balaram’s very dear girlfriends. Thus Srila Gadadhar Das was one of the associates of both Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Nityananda Prabhu.]

Gadadhar Das represents the halo of Radharani, but Gadadhar Pandit represents Her mood, Her nature—Her heart. It is as if Mahaprabhu has taken away Gadadhar Pandit’s soul, and the body is still standing! That is the position of Gadadhar Pandit; he is quite empty, and following Mahaprabhu. He is not full in himself. Something, the most important thing, his heart, has been taken by Mahaprabhu, so he has no other alternative but to follow Him. He is wholly given to Mahaprabhu. Gadadhar Pandit’s position, the part he played, was something like that of Radharani, Her heart stolen by Krishna, the empty body still standing. Radha-bhava-dyuti-subalitam naumi Krsna-svarupam: He was fully engrossed in the conception of Sri Gauranga. Gauranga had taken everything from him, so he had no other alternative; he was fully engrossed, captured completely by Him.

We find his activity throughout his whole life was like this. Of the other devotees, some were ordered to go to Vrindavan, and some were allowed to go there, but though Gadadhar Pandit wanted to visit Vrindavan with Mahaprabhu Himself, he was denied: “No, you won’t go.” When Jagadananda Pandit asked to go there, Mahaprabhu, with hesitation, granted him permission, “Yes, go there, but move always under the guidance of Rupa and Sanatan.” He also gave him some special instructions: “Do this, and this, and don’t do that.” But Gadadhar Pandit was not allowed to go there.

He was the representation of Srimati Radharani Herself, yet his peculiar position was such: the Queen of Vrindavan, but now transferred to Nabadwip. His position had become just the opposite; he could not enter Vrindavan! He prayed for permission, but Mahaprabhu did not give it. He said, “No, stay and live here.” And he had to do so. Sri Gadadhar Pandit represents the predominated moiety of the Whole. The Whole consists of predominating and predominated moieties, and he represents the predominated half. He is one half of the Absolute Truth.

In the teachings of Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur, whose preaching was inspired by Sri Gadadhar Pandit and Sriman Mahaprabhu, we also find all the substance that is present in that plane of vibration. These two personalities, Sri Gadadhar Pandit and Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur, are our great gurus, our guides, and by offering our worship to them we can sow the seed of our highest benefit. By the grace of that great Guru Maharaj Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Goswami Prabhupad, we have been able to understand this.

And Bhaktivinod Thakur, though generally he has his own position, as understood from the consideration of the disciple, Prabhupad Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur has seen Srimati Radharani in him: a ‘relative’ vision. He once said that Radharani represents the full play of asta-nayika, the eight characteristics of the heroine; we see that they are all perfectly represented in Her. In other places we may find partial representations of them, but we find them fully manifest only in Her.

He said, “I see my Gurudev as Guna-manjari, and in that manjari form he has some partial representation of Radharani. But if I attempt to look more deeply, I find him identified fully with Her; the eight kinds of qualities displayed in the service of Krishna (asta-nayika) are to be found there. If I look at him with my head a little more erect, I can see that he is one with Radharani. Acharyam mam vijaniyat: know the acharya as Myself. If I give more attention to this sastric rule and try to search out the meaning, I find that Radharani comes to take Her place there, in the position of my Gurudev.” In this way he has seen in Bhaktivinod Thakur the fullest representation of the cult of Sri Gauranga.

This realisation is expressed in his poem where he says that he saw Svarup Damodar Goswami in Gaura Kisor Das Babaji, and Sri Gadadhar Pandit in Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur. In one place he has written: gadadhara-din dhari’ paiyachchhe gaura-hari, that he has accepted the day of the disappearance of Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur to be identified with that of Sri Gadadhar Pandit. In another place, in his poem at the conclusion of his Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita commentary, he has written: “Here, in Nabadwip Dham, the eternal pastimes are going on continuously; only those who have got that deep vision can perceive it.

gadadhara mitra-vara, sri svarupa damodara,
sada kala gaura-krsna yaje
jagatera dekhi’ klesa, dhariya bhiksuka-vesa,
aharahah krsna-nama bhaje
sri gaura ichchhaya dui, mahima ki kava mui,
aprakrta parisada-katha
prakata haiya seve, krsna-gaurabhinna-deve,
aprakasya katha yatha tatha

He says, “It is very difficult to perceive the sweet will of Sri Gauranga, but if we can lift ourselves to that level, we see that Svarup Damodar Goswami and Sri Gadadhar Pandit are always engaged in their service here in Nabadwip. Sometimes it is suppressed and sometimes it is appearing on the surface. In that plane all is going on by the sweet will of Sri Gauranga, without any restriction. But now I find that those two have appeared on the surface as Srila Gaura Kisor Das Babaji and Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur. I have seen it with my own eye of divine service but this is not to be advertised, not to be given publicity anywhere and everywhere; people will laugh at it. But this is my heartfelt conclusion.” He has written this in his poem concluding Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita.

So Gadadhar Pandit was identified with Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur. That was the vision of our Gurudev, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur. He could see in them the same identity. He considered Siksa-guru parampara to be the most substantial thing. Eliminating the sahajiya-vada which gives much importance to the outer cover, try to look within, and see things more deeply. Try to understand the deeper vibrations of the outside environment, and see within yourself also. Dive deep, and you will find the plane of the finest vibration which will carry that news to you, and you will see that truth.

CONTENTS

Foreword

PART ONE: The Soul and the Supreme Shelter
• The Key Is in Your Own Hand
• Journey to the Centre
• The Real Judgment of Love

PART TWO: The Way Home
• Delusion, Divinity and the Real Devotee
• Transcendental Knowledge
• The Sweetest Struggle
• Heart and Halo

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