— { Sri Sri Prapanna-Jivanamritam } —

CHAPTER 8

Sri Bhakta-vachanamritam—Words of Nectar from the Devotees

Karpanyam—
Surrender in Humility

bhagavan raksa raksaivam, arta-bhavena sarvatah
asamorddhva-daya-sindhor, hareh karunya-vaibhavam [1]
smaratams cha visesena, nijati-sochya-nichatam
bhaktanam arti-bhavas tu, karpanyam kathyate budhaih [2]

'O Lord, please protect me, protect me...'
Such an internal sense of heartbreak in the devotees, which causes their remembrance in love, in all circumstances, of the extension of grace from the unequaled and unexcelled ocean of compassion, Sri Hari, and which characteristically causes them to ever remember their feeling of most lamentable destitution, is known by the learned as karpanyam—Surrender in Humility.

sri-krsna-nama-svarupasya parama-pavanatvam, jivasya durdaivan cha—
namnam-akari bahudha nija-sarva-saktis
tatrarpita niyamitah smarane na kalah
etadrsi tava krpa bhagavan mamapi
durdaivam idrsam ihajani nanuragah [3]

the Supreme Lord Sri Chaitanyachandra

The holy name of the Lord is the supreme purifier, yet the soul's misfortune is to deny it—
"O Lord, Your holy name alone bestows all the good fortune of the soul, and this is why You have revealed Your many different names such as 'Krishna' and 'Govinda.' You have offered all Your transcendental potency in your holy name, without initiating any (scriptural or philosophical) hard and fast rules and regulations, concerning time, place, or circumstance, to be observed in chanting it. Dear Lord, in this way You have given Your mercy to the living entity by making Your name so easily available, and yet, my misfortune in the form of offense (nama-aparadha) does not allow love for that merciful name to be born within my heart."

udbuddha-svarupe svabhava-karpanyam—
parama-karuniko na bhavat-parah
parama-sochyatamo na cha mat-parah
iti vichintya hare mayi pamare
yad uchitam yadu-natha tadachara [4]

kasyacit: votary

Humility is the natural symptom of the soul in his awakened state—
"O Lord Hari, You are the supreme merciful, second to none, and my condition of life is the most lamentable, second to none. O Lord of the Yadu dynasty, considering this, dispense whatever You deem fit for this sinful wretch."

maya-vasa-jivasya mayadhisa-krpaika-gatitvam—
naitan manas tava kathasu vikuntha-natha
sampriyate durita-dustam asadhu tivram
kamaturam harsa-soka-bhayaisanartam
tasmin katham tava gatim vimrsami dinah [5]

Sri Prahlada

The only hope for the soul enslaved by maya is the mercy of the Master of maya—

(Bengali verse by Sri Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakura)

(Bengali verse translation)

krsnonmukha-chitte baddha-bhavasya durvilasa-parichayah—
jihvaikato 'chyuta vikarsati mavitrpta
sisno 'nyatas tvag-udaram sravanam kutaschit
ghrano 'nyatas chapala-drk kva cha karma-saktir
bahvyah sapatnya iva geha-patim lunanti [6]

Sri Prahlada

A game of misfortune: an adverse mentality in the heart aspiring to serve Krishna–

(Bengali poem by Sri Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakura)

(Bengali verse translation)

purusottama-seva-prarthino bhaktasya nija-lajjakarayogyata-nivedanam—
mat-tulyo nasti papatma, naparadhi cha kaschana
parihare 'pi lajja me, kim bruve purusottama [7]

kasyacit: votary

The regretful submission of incompetence by the devotee who aspires for the service of the Supreme Person—
"There is no parallel to my sinful, criminal life. Everything that can be conceived of as bad is found in me. O Supreme Lord, I am even ashamed to come before You to petition, 'Please forgive my offenses.' What more can I say than this?"

mangalamaya-bhagavan-namabhase papinam atma-dhikkarah—
kva chaham kitavah papo, brahma-ghno nirapatrapah
kva cha narayanety etad, bhagavan-nama mangalam [8]

Ajamila

The sinful revile themselves when they are exposed to a mere facsimile of the allauspicious holy name of the Lord (namabhasa)—
"Who am I? A cheater, a sinner, a defiler of my brahminical status, a shameless wretch. What is my position in comparison to this holy name of the Lord, 'Narayana,' the embodiment of all auspiciousness?"

sri-bhagavat-krpodaye brahma-bandhunam daridryam api na badhakam—
kvaham daridrah papiyan, kva krsnah sri-niketanah
brahma-bandhur iti smaham, bahubhyam parirambhitah [9]

Sri Sudama

The Lord's mercy does not consider the disqualification of even a fallen brahmana—
"I am the most sinful and destitute, so who am I compared to Krishna, the shelter of the Goddess of Fortune? He knew I was the unqualified son of a brahmana, but nonetheless He embraced me. Indeed, this is most astonishing."

vidhatur api hari-sambandhi-pasvadi-janma-prarthana—
tad astu me natha sa bhuri-bhago
bhave 'tra vanyatra tu va tirascham
yenaham eko 'pi bhavaj-jananam
bhutva niseve tava pada-pallavam [10]

Lord Brahma

Even the universal creator, Brahma, prays to be born as an animal or a bird, if that is conducive to the service of Lord Hari—

(Bengali verse by Sri Bhakti Vinoda Thakura)

(Bengali verse translation)

ananya-saranesu mrgesv api bhagavat-krpa—
kim chitram achyuta tavaitad asesa-bandho
dasesv ananya-saranesu yad atma-sattvam
yo 'rochayat saha mrgaih svayam isvaranam
srimat-kirita-tata-pidita-pada-pithah [11]

Sri Uddhava

The Lord is merciful upon even the animals who have exclusively surrendered unto Him—
"O Lord Krishna, friend of all, in Your form of Lord Rama, even when the tips of the magnificent crowns of the great gods headed by Lord Brahma were subjugated before Your lotus feet, You simply showed Your affection for the monkeys. Thus it is no wonder that You are seen to be subordinate to Your exclusive servitors such as Nanda Maharaja, the Gopis, Bali, and others."

bhagavat-krpopalabdha-mahatmyasya tat kainkarya-prarthanapi auddhatyavad eva pratiyate—
dhig asuchim avinitam nirdayam mam alajjam
parama-purusa yo 'ham yogi-varyagraganyaih
vidhi-siva-sanakadyair dhyatum atyanta-duram
tava parijana-bhavam kamaye kama-vrttah [12]

Sri Yamunacharya

Even to pray for the Lord's servitorship is felt as an impertinence, when the glory of the Lord is realized by His mercy—
"Fie on me—an impure, impertinent, hardhearted, and shameless fellow. O Supreme Personality, simply governed by my whims do I dare to aspire for Your servitorship, a position practically inconceivable to great, powerful personalities like Lord Brahma, Lord Siva, and the four Kumaras."

upalabdha-sva-dosa-sahasrasyapi tach charana-paricharya-lobho 'py avaryamanah—
amaryadah ksudras chalamatir asuya-prasavabhuh
krtaghno durmani smara-paravaso vanchana-parah
nrsamsah papisthah katham aham ito duhkha-jaladher
aparad uttirnas tava parichareyam charanayoh [13]

Sri Yamumcharya

Despite thousands of personal defects, a devotee can never check his desire for the Lord's service—
"Uncultured, mean, fickle-minded, envious, ungrateful, proud, subservient to lust, deceitful, hard-hearted, and sinful am I. O Lord, how will I ever be able to cross this insurmountable ocean of misery and attain to the service of Your lotus feet?"

prapannasya prapatti-samanya-krpayam api nijayogyata-pratitih—
nanu prayatnah sakrd eva natha
tavaham asmiti cha yachamanah
tavanukampyah smaratah pratijnam
mad eka varjjam kim idam vratante [14]

Sri Yamunacharya

Although the Lord is naturally gracious upon the surrendered soul, the surrendered soul considers himself unfit to receive that grace—
"O Lord, one who keeps Your pledge in mind and wholly surrenders unto You, declaring, 'I am Yours alone,' is a fit recipient for Your grace. Is it only I who am not included in Your promise?"

suspasta-dainyenatma-vijnaptih—
na ninditam karma tad asti loke
sahasraso yan na maya vyadhayi
so 'ham vipakavasare mukunda
krandami sampraty agatis tavagre [15]

Sri Yamunacharya

Heartfelt petition in stark humility—
"O Mukunda, there is no offensive activity in this world that I have not performed thousands of times. Now, finally, I have no alternative but to simply weep before You."

asima-krpasya krpayah sesa-simantargatam atmanam anubhavati—
nimajjato 'nanta bhavarnavantas
chiraya me kulam ivasi labdhah
tvayapi labdham bhagavann idanim
anuttamam patram idam dayayah [16]

Sri Yamunacharya

The realization of feeling oneself to be situated on the outer limit of the unlimitedly merciful Lord's mercy—
"O Lord, I was drowning in the fathomless, endless ocean of material existence, and now, after immeasurable time, I have reached the shore—Your Divine Self. And You also have finally obtained the most fit recipient for Your mercy."

bhagavad-bhaktasya svasmin dinatva-buddhir eva svabhaviki, na tu bhaktatva-buddhih—
dina-bandhur iti nama te smaran, yadavendra patito 'ham utsahe
bhakta-vatsalataya tvayi srute, mamakam hrdayam asu kampate [17]

Jagannatha

A devotee of the Lord naturally considers himself to be lowly, and never does he consider himself a devotee—
"O Yadavendra, when I think of Your name, Dinabandhu—friend of the fallen—I, who am afallen, feel encouraged. But hearing that You are Bhakta-vatsala—affectionate to the devotees—my heart suddenly trembles."

siva-virinchy-adi-deva-sevya svasambandha-lesasambhavanaya nairasyam—
stavakas tava chaturmukhadayo, bhavaka hi bhagavan bhavadayah
sevakah sata-makhadayah sura, vasudeva yadi ke tada vayam [18]

Dhananjaya

A devotee feels disappointed in the improbability of his ever having a slight relationship with the Supreme Lord who is worshippable by the great gods headed by Lord Siva and Lord Brahma—
"O Lord, the demigods headed by fourheaded Lord Brahma are engaged in offering their worshipful prayers unto You; the demigods headed by five-headed Lord Siva are absorbed in meditation upon You; and the demigods headed by Lord Indra, the performer of a hundred sacrifices, are Your order carriers. O Lord Vasudeva, who then, are we to You?"

gauravatarasyaty-utkrsta-phala-datvam-aty-audaryatvan cha vilokya tatrati-lobhatvad-atmany-ati-vanchitatva-bodhah—
vanchito 'smi vanchito 'smi, vanchito 'smi na samsayah
visvam gaura-rase magnam, sparso 'pi mama nabhavat [19]

Sri Prabodhananda Saraswati

Seeing the Lord's most munificent descent as Sri Gauranga who is the bestower of the paramount gift of love divine, the devotee, feeling insatiable desire for the mercy of this Lord, considers himself to be drastically deceived—
"Deceived, deceived, no doubt, deceived am I! The whole universe became flooded with the love of Sri Gauranga, but alas, my fate was not to get even the slightest touch of it."

sri-gaura-seva-rasa-grdhnu-janasya tad aprapty asankaya khedoktih—
adarsaniyan api nicha-jatin
samviksate hanta tathapi no mam
mad-eka-varjjam krpayisyatiti
nirniya kim so 'vatatara devah [20]

Sri Prataparudra

The lament of one deeply aspiring for the service of Sri Gaurahari, in the apprehension of not attaining that service—
"He casts His merciful glance upon even lowborn persons who are unfit to be seen; yet He will not grant me His audience. Has the Lord (Sri Chaitanyadeva) made His advent deciding that He will give His grace to all but me?"

premamaya-svanathati-vadanyatopalabdhes tan nitya-parsadasya dainyoktih—
bhavabdhim dustaram yasya, dayaya sukham uttaret
bharakrantah kharo 'py esa, tam sri-chaitanyam asraye [21]

Sri Sanatana Goswami

Realizing his loving Lord's extreme magnanimity, deep humility is expressed by the intimate servitor of the Lord—
"Even this overburdened ass takes shelter of the lotus feet of Lord Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, by whose grace the formidable ocean of material existence can be crossed very easily."

maha-prema-piyusa-bindu-prarthinah svadainyanubhutih—
prasarita-mahaprema-, piyusa-rasa-sagare
chaitanya-chandre prakate, yo dino dina eva sah [22]

Sri Prabodhananda Saraswati

One who begs for a drop of the nectar of divine love supreme perceives his own destitution—
"Now that Sri Chaitanyachandra—the unlimitedly expansive ocean of the joy of divine love supreme—has made His gracious advent, anyone who remains destitute is surely a genuine pauper."

vipralambha-rasasritasya parama-siddhasyapi viraha-duhkhe hrdayodghatanam—
ayi dina-dayardra-natha he, mathura-natha kadavalokyase
hrdayam tvad-aloka-kataram dayita bhramyati kim karomy aham [23]

Sri Madhavendra Puri

The heart's eruption in the sorrow of separation, even for one who has achieved the ultimate perfection of love in separation—
"O gentle-hearted Lord, ever-gracious upon the destitute, O Lord of Mathura, when shall I see You again? In Your absence my broken heart trembles. Beloved! what shall I do now?"

sri-krsna-virahe asahayavat svanatha-karunakarsanam—
amuny adhanyani dinantarani
hare tvad alokanam antarena
anatha-bandho karunaika-sindho
ha hanta ha hanta katham nayami [24]

Sri Bilvamangala Thakura

A devotee in separation of Krishna helplessly draws the grace of the Lord of his life—
"O Hari, O guardian of the shelterless, O one and only ocean of mercy, how will I pass my unblest days and nights without a glimpse of You?"

vrajendranandana-virahe taj-jivitesvaryah svayam-rupaya api dasivat karpanyam—
ha natha ramana prestha, kvasi kvasi maha-bhuja
dasyas te krpanaya me, sakhe darsaya sannidhim [25]

Srimati Radharani

Like a maidservant, even Sri Radhika, the heroine of the son of King Nanda, humbly petitions the Lord in His separation—
"O Lord, my loving consort and dearmost hero, where are You? I am Your poor maidservant, please come to Me."

vipralambhe sri-krsna-vallabhanam api grhasaktavad dainyoktih—
ahus cha te nalina-nabha padaravindam
yogesvarair hrdi vichintyam agadha-bodhaih
samsara-kupa-patitottaranavalambam
geham jusam api manasy udiyat sada nah [26]

the Gopis

Like persons attached to hearth and home, even the Gopis, the damsels beloved of Lord Sri Krishna, humbly petition the Lord in His separation—
"O lotus-navelled one, Your lotus feet, eternally held as the object of meditation within the hearts of the greatest yogis of profound intellect, are the only resort for delivering those souls fallen into the well of material life. May those holy lotus feet graciously appear within the hearts of we ordinary household ladies."

viraha-kataro bhakta atmanam atya-sahayam manyate—
gato yamo gatau yamau, gata yama gatam dinam
ha hanta kim karisyami, na pasyami harer mukham [27]

Sankara

A devotee afflicted in separation feels himself to be drastically helpless—
"Three hours have passed, six hours have passed, nine hours have passed, a whole day has passed... alas, alas, what shall I do? I could not catch a glimpse of the lotus face of Sri Hari!"

govinda-virahe sarva-sunyataya aty-anathavad-dirgha-duhkha-bodha-rupa-prema-chesta—
yugayitam nimesena, chaksusa pravrsayitam
sunyayitam jagat sarvam, govinda-virahena me [28]

the Supreme Lord Sri Chaitanyachandra

Because everything appears vacant in the separation of Sri Krishna, divine love's attempt becomes prolonged sorrow in desperate shelterlessness—
"O Govinda, my every moment seems to be a great millennium. Tears flow from my eyes like torrents of rain, and the whole world seems empty in the absence of You."

sri-krsnaika-vallabhayas tad virahe anubhutakhila-prana-chesta-vyarthataya deha-yatra-nirvahasyapi lajjakara-sochya-vyavaharavat pratitih—
sri-krsna-rupadi-nisevanam vina
vyarthani me 'hany akhilendriyany alam
pasana-suskendhana bharakany aho
vibharmi va tani katham hata-trapah [29]

kesancit: revered votary

When, in His separation, Krishna's faithful sweetheart realizes Her whole urge for living has been thwarted, even to maintain her body is felt to be a shamefully lamentable task—
"My dear companion, without the service of Sri Krishna's divine form, nature, and pastimes, all my senses have become senseless. Now, how will I be able to shamelessly bear the burden of these wood-like, stone-like senses?"

ati-vipralambhe jivita-pranayinya rodanam api nija-dambha-matratvena pratiyate—
yasyamiti samudyatasya vachanam visrabdham akarnitam
gachchhan duram upeksito muhur asau vyavrtya pasyann api
tach chhunye punar agatasmi bhavane pranas ta eva sthitah
sakhyah pasyata jivita-pranayini dambhad aham rodimi [30]

Rudra

His sweetheart who lives despite intensely feeling His separation thinks that even Her tears are only due to Her pride—
"When He was about to leave, He said, 'I am going.' I heard His words without a care. As He left, from afar He glanced back again and again, but I paid no attention. Now, upon returning to my house which is bereft of Krishna, I am still living—O my friends! see how I cry out of the pride of being the love of His life..."

labdha-sri-krsna-prema-parakasthasya prati-ksana-vardhamana-tad-asvadana-lolupataya tad-apraptivat pratitih; tatra sri-krsna-premnastu sarvochcha-saubhagyakara-parama-sudurllabha-pumarthatvan cha suchitam—
na prema-gandho 'sti darapi me harau
krandami saubhagya-bharam prakasitum
vamsi-vilasy-anana-lokanam vina
vibharmi yat prana-patangakan vrtha [31]

the Supreme Lord Sri Chaitanyachandra

A person who has attained to the acme of love for Krishna appears as one bereft of that love, due to the moment by moment growing insatiable desire to taste it; this indicates love for Krishna to be the bestower of the supreme fortune, and the most rarely attained goal of life—
"O My companion, I do not have the slightest scent of love for Krishna—and yet, I cry. This is only for the purpose of exhibiting my great fortune. Without seeing the lovely face of Krishna playing His flute, I worthlessly pass My days, like an insignificant insect."

iti sri-prapanna-jivanamrte
sri-bhakta-vachanamrtantargata
karpanyam nama astamo 'dhyayah

thus ends the eighth chapter

Surrender in Humility—
Words of Nectar from the Devotees
in
Life-Nectar of the Surrendered Souls
Positive and Progressive Immortality

CONTENTS:

Preface
Publisher's Note
Foreword
• (1) Prelude to Approaching Nectar
• (2) Nectar of Scriptural Word
• (3) Acceptance of the Favorable
• (4) Rejection of the Unfavorable
• (5) Confidence in the Lord's Protection
• (6) Embracing the Lord's Guardianship
• (7) Full Self-Surrender
• (8) Surrender in Humility
• (9) Words of Nectar from the Supreme Lord
• (10) Divine Remnants of Nectar
Selected Gems