The Seeds of Discord

His Divine Grace
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj,
Sri Nabadwip Dham
30 March 2010, part 1

ওঁ অজ্ঞানতিমিরান্ধস্য জ্ঞানাঞ্জনশলাকয়া ।
চক্ষুরুন্মিলিতং যেন তস্মৈ শ্রীগুরবে নমঃ ॥

om ajnana-timirandhasya jnananjana-salakaya
chaksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri-gurave namah

'I offer my obeisance unto Sri Gurudev, who has opened my eyes, which were blinded by the darkness of ignorance, applying the kajal of divine knowledge on my eyes.'

গুর্ব্বাভীষ্টসুপূরকং গুরুগণৈরাশীষসংভূষিতং
চিন্ত্যাচিন্ত্যসমস্তবেদনিপুণং শ্রীরূপপন্থানুগম্ ।
গোবিন্দাভিধমুজ্জ্বলং বরতনুং ভক্ত্যন্বিতং সুন্দরং
বন্দে বিশ্বগুরুঞ্চ দিব্যভগবৎ-প্রম্­ণো হি বীজপ্রদম্ ॥

gurvvabhista-supurakam guru-ganair asisa-sambhusitam
chintyachintya-samasta-veda-nipunam sri-rupa-panthanugam
govindabhidham ujjvalam vara-tanum bhakty anvitam-sundaram
vande visva-gurun cha divya-bhagavat-premno hi bija-pradam

I offer my obeisance unto he who perfectly fulfils his Gurudev's most cherished desires; who is fully adorned with the blessings of his Gurudev’s associates; who is expert in all aspects of Vedic knowledge, both conceivable and inconceivable; who is the pre-eminent follower of Srila Rupa Goswami Prabhu's line; who is known as 'Govinda'—Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj; whose beautiful, effulgent, exalted form is infused with pure devotion; who is the Guru of the entire universe; and who is the giver of the seed of divine love for the Supreme Lord.

You know that our Param Gurudev left in 1988 and I joined the temple permanently, started staying at the temple, in 1992. Even at that time also I saw many problems happen.

I remember when I joined, on the first or second day, one senior sannyasi told me, "Why have you come here? This temple's Guru is like that and like that." I was new at that time and did not know anything, but I replied, "If this temple is bad and everything is like that, then why are you here?" Then he left me alone thinking, "That boy is very bad."

Later Gurudev started this Centenary Building in 1993. You know that there used to be two litchis trees here, a rose garden and this small house, 'Govinda Dham.' Gurudev told me that he had had the key from that house (he had stayed there) for fifteen years. At that time I was not in charge of the temple, I was not the manager of the temple, but I supervised the running of the temple—some senior devotees managed the construction at that time. So, Gurudev started the construction of this Centenary building in 1993 and soon after that left for the West for preaching leaving some senior devotee to manage the construction—I only observed and kept account of how many trucks of soil had come, how many trucks of cement had come, etc. When Gurudev left, the devotee who was in charge of the construction decided to demolish this Govinda Dham building. Before Gurudev left, he told me personally that he had lived in this house for many years, he had many memories there—he did not tell me not to break it or to keep it, but from what he told me I understood that he loved this building. So, when they were going to demolish that house, I fought the man—'fought' means I opposed it and told him that no, they could not break it. Now you see that the Centenary building is built without breaking Gurudev's house. So many things have happened...

When it came to Gurudev's Vyasa Puja, they did not write 'Vyasa Puja' at that time—they would write 'Acharya abhinandan' in the invitation letters; also they would not use 'Om Vishnupad' title—they would write 'Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj'. A year after I came to the temple, I wrote the invitation letter and I wrote 'Vyasa Puja' and I wrote 'Om Vishnupad Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj'. When the invitation letter was printed, Gurudev asked me who had written that letter, and I told him that I had written it.

I also did some decoration for Gurudev's Vyasa Puja—I put some lights on his building and wrote 'Acharya Bhavan' on it. Some devotees became angry with me and started fighting. I cried to Gurudev and Gurudev called that brahmachari saying, "What is problem? He has only put some small light..." then he told me, "OK, Vinod, you can take the light off and paint my building black, that would be better!" Then I understood what his desire was. Another time, when Gurudev's Vyasa Puja was coming, I made a banner, but somebody broke it... So many things have happened and I think about many things because I have seen what has been happening here from 1992.

Another time, Gurudev gave me one service, "You must keep guard at night time." I would take a big five-cell torch light with me and keep guard at the temple. One night, I saw somebody doing some wrong in one of the buildings, and I told about it to Gurudev. I have never told about it to anyone else because I was afraid. Gurudev told me, "If you tell anybody, they will kill you." In Srila Prabhupad's time also something happened, and nobody could tell about it to anyone. Gurudev also had many dogs, you know that he loves dogs very much, and they were big dogs. When I was keeping guard, the dogs would often be around me. One night, I went to sleep at one-two o'clock at night, and the next day we saw that all dogs were dead. Gurudev asked me, "What happened?" I told him that in the evening before that I had seen somebody near goshala and I thought to myself, "What are they doing there at 9-10:30 p.m.? Maybe they will give poison to the cows..." This thought came to my mind, and it turned out that somebody from the temple killed all Gurudev's dogs.

I have seen many things have happened here since 1992, and there were so many obstacles, so many things Gurudev's godbrothers have been doing against Gurudev when he would go to the West. I have always been fighting everything. You know that Gurudev has gone abroad twenty-five times since 1992, and during all this time I have been managing everything downstairs. That was my job...

At first, Gurudev chastised me much, and I knew that I had some fault, that I was doing some wrong sometimes. Three days before Gurudev left, Srila Janardan Maharaj asked me, "Maharaj, why do you keep that man in the temple?" I replied, "Maharaj, he has been here for many years during Gurudev's time and Gurudev cannot kick him out, then how will I kick him out? What can I do? This is their nature, we have to tolerate a little..." At Gurudev's Vyasa Puja, when he made the declaration, I was in Australia, but when I came back, Gurudev chastised me,

"You always go preaching in Bengal, sometimes in the West, you do collection sometimes, but you have not seen so many things happening here inside?"

I told Gurudev, "I thought that if somebody hates me, it is OK—I love everybody."

Gurudev said, "This animosity, these things have not grown overnight—it has been growing and increasing day by day, day by day. You did not see what was happening inside, and now that tree has grown very big!"

I saw this first when I made the small brahmachari building at the front of the temple, where the fountain is also. It used to be a printing press room before—and at that time it was a very ugly looking tin shed, no one worked there any more, the printing had finished, but the printing press was there and there were so many snakes living there. At that time I thought no one was my enemy. When I broke that tin shed and made a good small house for brahmacharis, with a fountain, I asked one devotee, "Prabhu, you see? Does it look good or not?" He replied, "Anyone can do that! You got the money and you did it!" Now, so many years later, these things are coming out... At the beginning I did not understand it and did not care for it. That is why Gurudev chastised me. He told me I should have thought about it at that time when I was told that, but I did not because I thought, "What is there to think?"

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