Henpecked and Kicked

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
11 April 2013

In Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur's time—I have told this story before—one brahmachari got married and came with his wife to Srila Prabhupad saying, "Prabhupad, I know it is very sad but we have got married... This is my wife..." Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur said in reply, "All right, what can you do now? But still you can do service, do Vaishnav service, etc. I can tell you what your duty is." There are four regulative principles—dyuta, pana, striya, suna [gaming, taking intoxicants, free mixing, flesh-eating]—and Srila Prabhupad explained to that brahmachari what is called striya.

Striya is not only illegal sex—if you have your real, legal wife (stri), there can also sometimes happen striya. It is called "stroin" (স্ত্রৌণ) in Bengali: being henpecked, excessively fond of, doting on your wife. It means to be controlled and subdued by your wife (স্ত্রীর বশীভুত, strir bosibhuta). In other words, stroin means becoming a servant of your wife.

You can live as a householder, it is all right, but do not become a servant of your wife, do not become controlled by her. These are Prabhupad Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur's words, not mine!

Srila Prabhupad explained to that man: you must work, earn money, and your wife will cook; after she has offered the bhog, she will first take that prasad and you will take prasad after her—then you will not have the mentality that your wife is your servant. You are a servant of Krishna (Krishna das) and you should not think that you are the master (prabhu) of your wife—your and her master (prabhu) is Krishna.

Do you understand? These are very hard words... Now they will say, "Oh, Maharaj is always stopping devotees from getting married!" This is not true. [His Divine Grace laughs.] I am not against married life, but I am against this stroin life. When a brahmachari gets married and becomes a servant of his wife, it is very bad.

"Oh how long I have been a slave of lust, anger, greed, etc.! How many times you (anger, lust, etc.) have kicked me! How many kicks have I had to tolerate from you? Every time you kick me, I have to tolerate so much..."

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay!
Harinam sankirtan ki jay!

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