(2/5) Believe and Surrender

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Preaching programme in Hooghly District, evening
Translated into English from Bengali
22 February 2020, part 2

সাধুসঙ্গ, নামকীর্ত্তন, ভাগবতশ্রবণ ।
মথুরাবাস, শ্রীমূর্ত্তির শ্রদ্ধায় সেবন ॥

sadhu-sanga, nama-kirtana, bhagavata-sravana
mathura-vasa, sri-murtira sraddhaya sevana

"Associate with sadhus, chant the Holy Name of the Lord, listen to Srimad Bhagavatam, reside in Mathura and worship Deities with faith."

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 2.22.124)

Living in Vrindavan, Nabadwip or a temple is not the same as pretending to live there. Many times, we only pretend that we live in a temple; we pretend that we are sadhus. We dress as sadhus, but we need the qualification to actually become sadhus. For that, we must first become genuine disciples.

It is necessary to have faith and to surrender properly. It is necessary to stay within service at every moment. Many think, 'I cannot do this', 'I cannot do that', but we do not do anything! Gurudev does everything. If I do not do some service, Gurudev will do all service with his ten hands. Gurudev always does all service with his ten hands. So, if I do not do something, the service will not stop – Gurudev will do it. Always remember this.

Last night, I had an upset stomach, so I had to go to the bathroom ten–eleven times. When I went to the bathroom at four, only water came out. I took two pills together and went to rest. I had not slept the whole night, so I only dozed off after four and woke up at six or seven. I did not even notice when I fell asleep. I thought, 'I have to go house to house tomorrow, it is the last day, and I must finish the collection. But how would I go?' I did not feel any strength in my body, so I called out to Gurudev, 'Gurudev! If I do not eat something, I will die...' Then, I felt some strength in my mind, and I sat up and ate. After that, I set out in the morning and have visited 150 houses today! I sat at every house, left the bill; at every house, they give sweets. I attended bhoga-arati at two houses, one at one o'clock and the second one at two o'clock. This is how the day went... Gurudev does everything. Yesterday, I went to 130 houses, but today, even though I set out a little late, I have been to 150 houses. My legs are paining, but I am not worried. We do not feel any difficulty, do not have any problems because Gurudev does everything. A problem is when we become proud thinking that we have done something or that we know something. Desire for name and fame is pig's stool (pratistha sukarer vistha; প্রতিষ্ঠা শুকরের বিষ্ঠা).

I have told recently that if somebody forcefully keeps a fifty kg sack of rice on my head and puts me into an A/C room, I will never feel happy there because I have this load on my head. This load is not some rice or dal; it is the load of ego. Somebody is proud of their wealth, somebody is proud of their knowledge, followers, beauty, qualities and so on. It is because of this pride that we cannot come to the Lord. 'My house', 'my room', 'my son', 'my dear', 'my dollars', 'my cents' – we are always proud of these things. When we again and again pay obeisances at the holy feet of Sri Guru and Vaishnavs – when we put our heads down – then only will this load fall from our heads. We should always pay obeisances to Sri Guru and Vaishnavs, treat Vaishnavs with respect, and if some sannyasi or brahmachari visits from another temple, we will pay obeisance to them.

If we become proud, 'I have become a temple manager!', 'I am the owner of the temple!' and think that 'I do not need to see who comes and from what temple they come' – this is very bad. Many householder people have such mentality. When you come to some houses, somebody will come running to you, offer you an obeisance and give you a place to sit, and another person will be sitting in the room, watching TV. I go house to house, and I see these things. They hear a sadhu has come to their house, and they put meat and fish away, give you a place to sit and so on. When I walk much, my legs start hurting, so even if I sit for thirty seconds, it gives me some relief; so, they do some service in this way. Mostly, I do not take prasad at others' houses – they offer fruit and sweets, but I do not take anything. But there are also houses where they give you a sack of potato and carry on watching TV in their rooms or play some games.

That is why I sometimes remember Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj. At some point, he slept in a public toilet, and when somebody asked him, 'Babaji Maharaj, do you not feel repulsed by the smell of stool and urine here?' Babaji Maharaj replied, 'I do get the smell of stool and urine, this is naturally unpleasant, but it is not a problem for me – what does trouble me is the appalling smell of materialistic people.'

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READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Worship Is Not Doll Play
2) Believe and Surrender
3) Intoxicated with Animal Life
4) Cherish Your Service
5) Love Your Lord, Love Your Service