Unimaginable

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Kolkata—Worldwide, 4 October 2020, part 6

Question: We are reading Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita sometimes...

Good, but not 'sometimes'—you must read it every day. It is Purushottam month now, so you should read Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita continuously from beginning to end (do 'parayan') every day.

Question (continuation): Mahaprabhu was telling Svarup Damodar and Ramananda Ray about His mental anguish from separation, and He said that His mind was baula...

Yes, 'baul' means crazy. It is true. Separation is a very high thing, you cannot imagine it...

When Uddhav Maharaj went to Vraja to give some nourishment to all the gopis, he came to Nandagram and asked someone, "Can you tell me the way to Nanda Maharaj's house?" That Vraja-basi replied, "Can you see a drain coming down the hill, with water running down it? Walk up this drain—the place where it comes from is the house of Nanda Maharaj. This drain water is not some bathroom water—this water is the tears of Nanda Maharaj and Mother Yasoda..." When Uddhav Maharaj heard this, he was astounded. He thought, "How is it possible? I have come to give nourishment to Nanda Maharaj and Yasoda Mother, but how much devotion, how much love and affection they have for Krishna! I can see that everything here is 1000% or 2000% more qualified than me—I have absolutely no quality, I cannot even compare myself to a particle of dust here! I thought I was the closest person to Lord Sri Krishna, I was proud to be His minister, but I am nothing in front of them!"

What sort of separation is there in Vrindavan? They had actually received such a deep shock that they did not want Krishna! All the Vraja-gopis told Uddhav Maharaj, "We do not want to see Him! We do not want Krishna! We do not want to see Him! He has left us! He has left us—we do not want to see His face!" How much shock the Vraja-gopis had got!

Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu showed this separation mood in Gambhira. He came to this world as an incarnation of Srimati Radharani—He is non-different from Radha-Krishna, He is Radha-Krishna's combined form. So many things happened when He stayed in Gambhira in His later years. At night, all doors would be closed—everybody saw that all doors, inside and outside, were closed, but still Mahaprabhu would come out and get away. Once, they saw Him lying down beside a cow and His body was like a tortoise. These things happened...

So, this separation is an extremely high thing, Prabhu. If you read, read, read and try to understand, then you can understand what is called separation. This mood of separation is not a simple matter, it is a very, very high matter. Mahaprabhu would always cry and shout, "Where shall I go to get Kana? Where shall I go to find Krishna? (Kaha gele Kanu pai? Kothay gele Kanu pai? Kaha gele Krishna pai?)"...

Question: We hear that one of the Names of Gauranga Mahaprabhu is Gaura-Narayan. We can understand the Name Gaura-Krishna, but what is the relation between Gauranga Mahaprabhu and Narayan?

Sachi Devi always worshipped Narayan. When Mahaprabhu was there, Jagannath Misra and Sachi Devi always worshipped Lord Narayan, and they considered their son to be non-different from Narayan. Narayan can come from Gauranga—what is the problem? Sachi Devi always worshipped Narayan-sila, and sometimes, when she offered bhog to Narayan, she would see some footprints all around the altar room, and later, when she breast-fed Nimai, she saw that the marks on the soles of her son's feet were non-different from the footprints she had seen. In those days, the floors were not marbled—they had soil floors, so she could see that.

[Addressing a devotee who is going to another country to serve at the temple.] It is good that you are going there, you can help the devotees with puja (Deity worship). Are you going there alone? [The devotee says 'yes.'] Good, and you must remember—you are going there not to get married, you are going there to do puja. OK? Sometimes, a lady will come, some Maya Devi will come and wash your brain, but do not get caught; be very careful there. OK?

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