Utter Desperation

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Vaishnav Seva Programme, Bangaon,
31 January 2021, part 4

[Chanting 'Gurudev bada krpa kare', followed by 'Kabe Sri Krsna Chaitanya more', His Divine Grace remarks:]

কবে শ্রীচৈতন্য মোরে করিবেন দয়া ।
কবে আমি পাইব বৈষ্ণব-পদছায়া ॥

kabe sri chaitanya more karibena daya
kabe ami paiba vaisnava-pada-chhaya

"When will Sri Chaitanya be merciful to me? When will I reach the shade of the Vaishnavs' feet?"

কবে আমি ছাড়িব এ বিষয়াভিমান ।
কবে বিষ্ণুজনে আমি করিব সম্মান ॥

kabe ami chhadiba e visayabhimana
kabe visnu-jane ami kariba sammana

"When will I give up this mundane ego? When will I honour the Lord's devotees?"

গলবস্ত্র কৃতাঞ্জলি বৈষ্ণব নিকটে ।
দন্তে তৃণ করি দাঁড়াইব নিষ্কপটে ॥

gala-vastra krtanjali vaisnava-nikate
dante trna kari' dandaiba niskapate

"With a cloth around my neck, joined palms, and straw between my teeth, I will sincerely submit myself at the Vaishnav's feet."

কাঁদিয়া কাঁদিয়া জানাইব দুঃখগ্রাম ।
সংসার অনল হৈতে মাগিব বিশ্রাম ॥

kandiya kandiya janaiba duhkha-grama
samsara-anala haite magiba visrama

Weeping, I will convey my sorrows to the Vaishnav and pray for shelter from the fire of material existence.

What must we say? We must cry and tell Vaishnav Thakur about our unhappiness, about our austerities. What are the austerities? It is not some bodily austerities—it is not about a lack of affection or love—all this does not make you a beggar. What beggar are you? Do not come as beggars for food, but come as beggars for spiritual life. Money, food, clothes, etc.—you can get this everywhere on the street; but come as a beggar for Hari-katha, come begging to hear about the Lord and sadhu, Guru, Vaishnavs. May your mind become a beggar for that. Yet we say so many things, so much nonsense in our mind.

দিনের মধ্যে আবল-তাবল
কত পচাল পাড়িতে পর
তার মধ্যে কিন্তু তুমি একবার
গোবিন্দ বলে আর কথা বলিব না

dinera madhye abala-tabala
kata pachala parite para
tara madhye kintu tumi ekbara
govinda bale, ara katha baliba na

"All day you talk all kinds of nonsense, how much idle talk you engage in! But find time amidst all that to chant the Name of Govinda, do not talk about other things!"

We talk so much nonsense! But who should we submit our application? To Vaishnav Thakur. What does the Lord say in Srimad Bhagavad-gita? "I do not know anyone except for My devotees, and devotees also do not know anyone except for Me." Therefore, we must tell devotees about our unhappiness, "Prabhu, when will I be relieved from the fire of this material life? I keep burning and coming to this material world, how can I become rescued from it all?" We pray to Vaishnav Thakur about this. When will we get some respite from the fire of this material life? Many say, "Oh, Maharaj, I will retire from my job, and then I will come to live at the temple." I always say, "When you retire, you will forget everything—your grandchildren will grow up. Then, you will want to get your grandchildren married first, and after that you will kick the bucket. You will not get the time."

That is why Gurudev says: there is no use living for one hundred years in this world; even if you live for ten years, if you can practise Krishna consciousness during this time, you can attain success; yet if you live for one hundred years but spend this time on material life, then there is no use. What will you get by living for one hundred years if you do not practise Krishna consciousness? Always remember this. These are Gurudev's words.

When will we get some respite from this material life? We keep coming and going to this material life, but when will I be saved from this agony? When will I return to my own home? Once you return to your own home, you will never have to return here. This is a rented house. You can understand it easily. If you stay in a rented house and there is some problem, you will have to move to another place; you more to another place, there is some problem again, and you again have to move to another place. One day, you will think that if you buy even some small plot of land and make a thatched hut, it is better than living house to house all the time. Therefore, when you can reach your own house, you will get such peace and happiness that you can never find here no matter how much you seek it.

We must give up material desires for this world. Srila Raghunath Das Goswami gave up everything like stool and urine. When you eat, you enjoy and fill your stomach, relishing the food, but once that food is digested and you pass stool, you do not even want to look at it—you hold your nose not to get the stench. So, this material world, all the pleasures of this world are stool. We must give it all up like stool and urine.

আসক্তিরহিত সম্বন্ধসহিত ।
বিষয়সমূহ সকলি মাধব ॥

'asakti-rahita,' 'sambandha-sahita,'
visaya-samuha sakali 'madhava'

"When you are free from material attachment and establish relationship with the Lord, then you will see that everything around you is Lord Madhav Himself."

('Vaishnav ke?' verse 12)

We must know the relationship and see that everything here is meant for the Lord. It is necessary to remember this.

কাঁদিয়া কাঁদিয়া জানাইব দুঃখগ্রাম ।
সংসার অনল হৈতে মাগিব বিশ্রাম ॥

kandiya kandiya janaiba duhkha-grama
samsara-anala haite magiba visrama

Weeping, I will convey my sorrows to the Vaishnav and pray for shelter from the fire of material existence.

So, when you pray to Vaishnav Thakur in this way. What will Vaishnav Thakur do then? Vaishnav Thakur will pray for me to the Lord. If you go directly to the Lord, your application will not be granted. It is necessary to go through Vaishnvs...

শুনিয়া আমার দুঃখ বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর ।
আমা' লাগি' কৃষ্ণে আবেদিবেন প্রচুর ॥

suniya amara duhkha vaisnava thakura
ama' lagi' krsne avedibena prachura

Hearing of my sorrow, the worshippable Vaishnav will thoroughly pray to Krishna on my behalf.

বৈষ্ণবের আবেদনে কৃষ্ণ দয়াময় ।
এ হেন পামর প্রতি হবেন সদয় ॥

vaisnavera avedane krsna dayamaya
e hena pamara prati habena sadaya

"Satisfied by the Vaishnav's prayer, Krishna will be merciful to this sinner."

Vaishnav will appeal to Krishna on my behalf, then Krishna will take pity on me. He will give me shelter at His feet and engage me in His service. When we appeal to Vaishnavs, they come asking, "Have you called me?" "Yes, Gurudev. Please engage me in the service of the Lord." Gurudev then teaches how to serve the Lord and Vaishnavs, how to practise, how to live, etc. Mahaprabhu Himself taught by His own example. That is why Krishna told Uddhav Maharaj, "Acharyam mam vijaniyan. Know the Guru (acharya) as being non-different from Me."

Does all this enter anyone's mind? If you truly hear this, if all these things enter your mind and heart, then nobody will be able to keep you in the bondage of this world any more. A wife, beautiful like an angel, all the enormous wealth—Srila Raghunath Das Goswami gave it all up like stool and urine. His father gave him a wife of angelic beauty, made him the owner of thousands of acres of land, but could that stop him and keep him there?

Mahaprabhu first told him, "Go back home, do not become crazy."

মর্কট-বৈরাগ্য না কর লোক দেখাঞা ।
যথাযোগ্য বিষয় ভুঞ্জ' অনাসক্ত হঞা ॥

markata-vairagya na kara loka dekhana
yatha-yogya visaya bhunja' anasakta hana

"Do not show your false renunciation to people. Serve accepting material things, but without attachment."

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya-lila, 16.238)

"Go and live with your family."

সে ছল সেকালে কৃষ্ণ স্ফুরাবে তোমারে ।
কৃষ্ণকৃপা যাঁরে, তাঁরে কে রাখিতে পারে ॥

se chhala se-kale krsna sphurabe tomare
krsna-krpa yanre, tanre ke rakhite pare

"Krishna will reveal to you how you can come. Who can stop the one who has got mercy of Krishna?"

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya-lila, 16.241)

When Krishna bestows His mercy on someone, nobody can stop them...

বিনোদের নিবেদন বৈষ্ণব চরণে ।
কৃপা করি সঙ্গে লহ এই অকিঞ্চনে ॥

vinodera nivedana vaisnava-charane
krpa kari' sange laha ei akinchane

"Bhakti Vinod prays at the feet of the Vaisnavas: "Mercifully take this lowly soul with you."

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