Exclusive Conception of Srila Prabhupad's Line

'We will not venture to enter there'

Question: Can we ask you some questions about paintings for Brahma-samhita? In the first and second verses, there is a description of Gokula Vrindavan as a thousand-petal lotus with Krishna in the centre, and in the twenty-sixth verse there is description of Lord Brahma's meditation on a thousand-petal lotus of Goloka Vrindavan with Krishna, Radharani and gopis. We want to do a painting of the Goloka Vrindavan planet with Radha-Krishna surrounded by gopis. It is described that Radha-Krishna are seated on a divine throne, and the whorl of the lotus flower where They are seated is described as a hexagonal figure. So, we were wondering what is the meaning that it is a hexagonal figure?

I am sorry, but we are not to enter into the discussion of such a higher and subtle position of Radha-Krishna's lila. It is not to be brought into public. This is the distinction between Gaudiya Math and the sahajiya section, who try to imitate all these things. We have no faith in imitation. These things will come in each individual case and will awaken in an irresistible way. When the programme of one's sadhana (practice) stage is finished, it will come automatically, spontaneously. We are believers in that, not in that we will already know the form and then reach there. This is not the policy accepted by our Guru Maharaj, Srila Prabhupad (Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur). 'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the path of spontaneous loving service from afar.' Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur also said, 'Stick to the rulings of the class you are fit for, then you will see everything automatically.'

যথা যথা গৌরপদারবিন্দে বিন্দেত ভক্তিং কৃতপুণ্যরাশিঃ ।
তথা তথোৎসর্পতি হৃদ্যকস্মাদ্রাধাপদাম্ভোজ-সুধাম্বুরাশিঃ ॥

yatha yatha gaura-padaravinde
vindeta bhaktim krta-punya-rasih
tatha tathotsarpati hrdy-akasmad
radha-padambhoja-sudhambu-rasih

'The more devotion to the holy lotus feet of Sri Gaurasundar very fortunate souls attain, the more they will suddenly feel in their hearts that they appear within a nectarean ocean of divine love at the holy lotus feet of Sri Sri Radha.'

(Sri Chaitanya-chandramrita, 88)

'Strictly stick to Gaura-lila, to Mahaprabhu, then you will automatically find the nectarean ocean of Radharani's divine love arising within your heart.' Do not attempt to have it directly. Like gardeners, devotees shall engage in watering their devotional seed with the water of sravan (hearing) and kirtan (chanting, practising), and then everything will come automatically, spontaneously. You are not to approach it intellectually. An intellectual approach will give you a bad prejudice – not only that, it will give you a harmful prejudice, and you will have to spend more energy to do away with that layer of misunderstanding. So, our Prabhupad did not allow these things. 'Do your duty on your plane, and what you deserve will come to you naturally.' That was his instruction all through, not only temporarily but all through. Do not go to be a disbeliever, very eager to see the final result; otherwise, you will get Maya instead of Yogamaya.

He knows it fully well, She knows it fully well when you are to be taken in into the confidential area. It cannot be acquired by anything except the flow of Her, or His, sweet will. Try to have a natural thing, not anything of imitation or reflection. Shadow reflection and shadow are two kinds of misconception that can come, and reflection is more dangerous. In Harinam also, it has been stated like that. Both reflection and shadow are misguiding. We are to cross that. This sort of temptation may come in our way, but we must not think that everything will come within the fist of our intellect:

অচিন্ত্যাঃ খলু যে ভাবা ন তাংস্তর্কেণ যোজয়েৎ

achintyah khalu ye bhava na tams tarkena yojayet

'Do not try to approach the inconceivable with useless logic and reasoning.'

(Mahabharata, quote in Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu, 2.5.93)

'Do not take that which is inconceivable into the jurisdiction of reason.' When it is extended to you, you will be astounded to have a mere peep into that. Do not try to drag that into the zone of reason. It is autocratic in its nature: it may come in one shape to you, and it may come in another shape to another person. It is expansive and free in its nature; it is infinite. Infinity is the basis of Their pastimes. So, prepare yourself and always hanker after it, but do not make it an object of your experience.

When Mahaprabhu talked about Krishna-lila, He would describe His wonderful experience as if in a trance. We find that sort of deep, higher lila of Krishna to be related by Mahaprabhu Himself several times. When He jumped unconscious into the ocean, He was carried by the waves for a few hours, from Sargandha to Chakratirtha, and when He came round, He described the jala-keli (water-sporting pastimes) of Krishna. Then, at Chatakparvat, when Mahaprabhu saw Krishna's lila, His body transformed into a kusmanda (pumpkin); after that, He also described the Govardhan-lila He had seen. The nature of those descriptions is not something book-produced – it cannot be put down black and white. It is a thing of such nature.

So, we often received this caution that we must not venture there – these things will come automatically. Go on with the programme given by the scriptures and your guru, and if you have such a possibility of fortune, it will come to you. It is not a matter of one's experience, and it can be given to anyone and everyone. It is not to be tackled in an intellectual way. 'Yatha yatha Gaura-padaravinde. Engage your full attention in Gaura-lila, and everything will come to you automatically.' It will come in an indirect way from a higher domain whenever it pleases – it will come down for some time to give you experience, and you will simply be astonished, 'What is this?!' And when it is gone, when it is withdrawn, you will have nothing left to do but to lament. It is a living thing. Try to understand this to get some hope. We cannot make it our object. His behaviour with His intimate friends is such a high thing, it has nothing to do with an ordinary man's conduct. It is a sacred lila of the Supreme Lord that is very hard to attain, so how can we dare enter there, especially publicly? It is not possible. Externally, we can try to give some description of the outer possibility, but not the actual thing. We will not venture to enter there.

Question: So, can we then make some general painting, like a lotus flower?

A lotus flower represents the idea of beauty, softness, etc. Different petals can represent different platforms of rasam (devotional mood). We can take it in this way. We can show beauty, softness, but no mundane ideas should be drawn into it, only distant similarity. But there will always be categorical difference between depiction and the real thing. We are not even allowed by our master to read the books where such things are described, such as Govinda-lilamritam, Stava Kusumanjali or even Ujjvala-nilamani. Srila Prabhupad did not allow us to study or discuss it; rather, he would be very much disturbed if he heard that someone was interfering with the higher lilas described in those books. He did not like it.

না উঠিয়া বৃক্ষোপরি, টানাটানি ফল ধরি’,
দুষ্টফল করিলে অর্জন ।

ne uthiya vrksopari, tanatani phal dhari',
dusta-phala karile arjana

'Instead of climbing the tree, you tried to get fruit by forcefully shaking the tree – you have got nothing but rotten fruit.'

(Kalyan Kalpataru, 1.18)

Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur gives us a warning that if you venture there and cross the line, you will only get a bad result (aparadha). We must rise from a lower position to a higher position, and the steps are shown: first sraddha (faith), then sadhu-sanga (association of saints), then by sravan-kirtan (hearing and chanting) comes anartha-nivritti (undesirable things will vanish altogether), then ruchi (taste), then asakti (attachment), then bhava-bhakti (spontaneous devotion, a sprout of real devotion appears), then only prema-bhakti (divine love and devotion) and sneha (affection), mana (loving sulking), pranaya (love), raga (attachment), anuraga (deep attachment), bhava (ecstasy), mahabhava (ultimate ecstasy). We are to approach that plane following these steps.

Entrance into domain of devotion

I do not know how you will take it, but Srila Prabhupad once made a remark. There was one senior gentleman who wanted to discuss these high things with Prabhupad and who laid much stress on that. Although he did much service to the mission previously, he eventually left Prabhupad's association and started to live a secluded life. He took on a gopi's name and wanted to cultivate a life of a gopi in an intimate connection with Krishna. So, Prabhupad remarked, 'Oh, so now he has turned into a lady, and after coming in contact with Krishna, she has produced a child...'

There was also another disciple of Prabhupad who also left Prabhupad and started to imitate Prabhupad's Guru Maharaj, Srila Gaura Kishor Babaji, who lived in a hut near the Ganges. He constructed a tiny hut nearby and began imitating his bhajan, his chanting the Holy Name and discussion of Narottam Thakur, observing strict renunciation in his physical life. Gaura Kishor Babaji remarked one day, 'If a lady enters a labour room and imitates the pain of giving birth to a child, no child will come like that. Many important events must take place first, then only a child will come, but mere imitation of labour pain will not give birth to a child.' That was his remark regarding that gentleman.

So, you must first come in connection with what is known as suddha-sattva, or visuddha-sattva, the nirguna world, then only you may try to approach some subtle events. And you are not to approach it to only satisfy your curiosity. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. This should be the spirit with which to approach the whole thing. At the same time, by God's grace, we should not be disbelievers, thinking, 'First show it to me. I shall judge the whole thing carefully, and then I shall accept what you say.' There are many lower things whose charm and reasonableness are enough to convince a person to come to this side, and those high pastimes should be left high above our head. We are to handle all that lila, especially madhura-lila, very cautiously.

I was remembering something the other day. About a year after I joined the mission, Prabhupad arranged a month-long Kartik preaching in Vrindavan, and he requested Sripad Bharati Maharaj at that time to explain the seventh canto of Bhagavatam – the story of Prahlad (not of Krishna, Radha-Krishna, Yasoda or anything of Vrindavan, but to preach suddha-bhakti of Prahlad first). His vision was that when all the sahajiyas arrived at the programme, greedy to hear about Vrindavan pastimes, Bharati Maharaj was to try to make them understand what it takes to enter into the domain of devotion (what to speak of Krishna-lila, that is far, far above). So, the audience in Vrindavan wondered, 'What is this? They are in Vrindavan, but they are explaining Bhagavatam leaving the tenth canto! They are talking only about the seventh canto, about Prahlad-lila? This is a much lower stage of devotion!' It was wonderful and very strange. Later on, I again found Prabhupad himself giving a lecture at the boundary line between Radha Kunda and Shyama Kunda, reading and explaining Upadesamrita of Rupa Goswami during a few days. He did not speak about Radharani or Krishna – he spoke about Upadesamrita, the basis. His attention was always towards the basis: 'Pour water onto the root, pour water onto the root, and the fruit will come of itself.' So, sitting in the middle of both Radha Kunda and Shyama Kunda, he personally explained Upadesamrita, not Bhagavatam. The substance of Upadesamrita is Mahaprabhu's teachings, couched in Rupa Goswami's language.

বাচো বেগং মনসঃ ক্রোধবেগং
জিহ্বাবেগমুদরোপস্থবেগম্ ।
এতান্ বেগান্ যো বিষহেত ধীরঃ
সর্বামপীমাং পৃথিবীং স শিষাৎ ॥

vacho vegam manasah krodha-vegam
jihva-vegam udaropastha-vegam
etan vegan yo visaheta dhirah
sarvam apimam prthivim sa sisyat

'A sober person who can tolerate (1) the urge to speak, (2) the mind's demands, (3) the actions of anger and the urges of the (4) tongue, (5) belly and (6) genitals is qualified to make disciples all over the world.'

(Sri Upadesamrta, 1, Srila Rupa Goswamipad)

কৃষ্ণেতি যস্য গিরি তং মনসাদ্রিয়েত
দীক্ষাস্তি চেৎ প্রণতিভিশ্চ ভজন্তমীশম্ ।
শুশ্রূষয়া ভজনবিজ্ঞমনন্যমন্য-
নিন্দাদিশূন্যহৃদমীপ্সিতসঙ্গলব্ধ্যা ॥

krsneti yasya giri tam manasadriyeta
diksasti chet pranatibhis cha bhajantam isam
susrusaya bhajana-vijnam ananyam anya-
nindadi-sunya-hrdam ipsita-sanga-labdhya

'One should mentally honour the devotee who chants the Holy Name of Lord Krishna, one should offer humble obeisances to the devotee who has undergone spiritual initiation and is engaged in worshipping the Deity, and one should associate with and faithfully serve that pure devotee who is advanced in undeviated devotional service and whose heart is completely devoid of the propensity to criticise others.'

(Sri Upadesamrta, 5, Srila Rupa Goswamipad)

And so on. The last verse is:

কৃষ্ণস্যোচ্চৈঃ প্রণয়বসতি প্রেয়সিভ্যোঽপি রাধা-
কুণ্ডং চাস্যা মুনিভিরভিতস্তাদৃগেব ব্যধায়ি ।
যৎ প্রেষ্ঠৈরপ্যলমসুলভং কিং পুনর্ভক্তিভাজাং
তৎ প্রেমেদং সকৃদপি সরঃ স্নাতুরাবিষ্করোতি ॥

krsnasyochchaih pranaya-vasati preyasibhyo 'pi radha-
kundam chasya munibhir abhitas tadrg eva vyadhayi
yat presthair apy alam asulabham kim punar bhakti-bhajam
tat premedam sakrd api sarah snatur aviskaroti

'Of the many objects of favoured delight and of all the lovable damsels of Vrajabhumi, Srimati Radharani is certainly the most treasured object of Krishna's love. And, in every respect, Her divine kunda is described by great sages as similarly dear to Him. Undoubtedly, Radha Kunda is very rarely attained even by the great devotees; therefore, it is even more difficult for ordinary devotees to attain. If one simply bathes once within those holy waters, one's pure love of Krishna is fully aroused.'

(Sri Upadesamrta, 11, Srila Rupa Goswamipad)

That was explained by Prabhupad, not even anything of Govinda-lilamrita or Visvanath Chakravarti's Sri Krishna-bhavanamrita. These things were left out. So, our training is in this line. 'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the path of spontaneous loving service from afar.' It is always on our heads, it is the prospect of our future life, life after life – it cannot be finished; rather, we shall foster pure hope that one day we may be taken in to that camp...

'I am not a member to that'

Question: Sometimes, in Chaitanya-charitamrita, Srila Krishna Das Kaviraj Goswami makes reference to Govinda-lilamrita, Ujjvala-nilamani and other confidential works. How are we to take those references?

We were generally not allowed to enter those three chapters (Chapters Four and Fourteen of Adi, and Chapter Eight of Madhya) of Chaitanya-charitamita. In the eighth chapter of Madhya-lila, there is a conversation with Ramananda Ray and where there is a portion of Radha-Govinda's lila mentioned to a certain extent, we had no entrance into that. In the fourth chapter of Adi-lila, there are some things related to Svarup Damodar mentioned. Of course, during parayan (continuous reading of the scripture from the beginning to the end), we go on and read those three chapters but without going into any detailed discussion or giving any particular attention to that lila of the highest order – that was barred.

Do not try to go into details there. Those things will come to you automatically when the time is right. Do not make it a subject of a public discussion, do not take it into the public eye. It is a very high matter, so much so that even Prabhupad did not listen to it. Once, when he was in Vrindavan, his childhood friend, an attorney, came to see him, so Prabhupad went to give him a return visit. Sripad Paramahamsa Maharaj (he is in Kolkata now; his previous name was Mahananda Brahmachari) came with Prabhupad. When they came to that attorney's house, Prabhupad was told that his friend was upstairs. When Prabhupad came upstairs, he saw that Pran Gopal Goswami was explaining the rasa-lila chapter of Bhagavatam there. Prabhupad just bowed down his head and immediately went away. Noticing this, Prabhupad's friend came downstairs after him, leaving that rasa-lila reading. He asked Prabhupad, 'There was rasa-lila being explained, why did you not take your seat at all? Why did you just bow down your head and go downstairs? What is the matter?' Prabhupad replied, 'Our guru's order is such that if we attend any rasa-lila explanation, we will commit an offence, that is why I could not stand there even for a second, I had to come back. This is my guru's order.' So, this is an aparadh, an offence. Prabhupad showed this kind of strict behaviour for us, and we also do that, especially I.

In many places they make dolls showing jhulan-lila, rasa-lila, etc. I never do that. I try to do what is true to my understanding of my gurudev's will and words. I do not make any show of jhulan-lila, rasa-lila or anything of the kind. I find in my heart that this was not desirable by Prabhupad. I see, and I hear also, that at present they are doing this in so many temples, but I strictly abstain from that sort of shows. I consider jhulan-lila or rasa-lila to be too high for us. I must remain true to the words I heard from my gurudev if I want my realisation, and not any position, to gain popularity to attract people by such shows, to make money or to make a favourable field for preaching. They may do that, but I do not. I do not want popularity, nor do I want any position of a higher acharya. I am still a student. I consider myself a student, a faithful student, so I try my best to stick to what I have got from my gurudev. I want to keep my position there, according to what I heard from him, and I do not want to mutilate it in any way to suit my purpose. I try not to do that. So, of course, others may do different things for big propaganda as they think better, they are now free, but I am not a member to that.

When Prabhupad offered me to go to the West, I told him simply that I did not consider myself fit to go there and that I would not be able to show there success because of my defects (I named two defects). After that, one of the sannyasis expressed much reverence towards me, 'What is this? So many want to get such a chance, but you did not care to take advantage of this opportunity to become a world preacher! You have no hankering for that!' I replied, 'Yes, Maharaj, I have no hankering for such a position. My only humble ambition is that I may be reckoned as a sincere devotee of Mahaprabhu Sri Chaitanyadev. I have no other ambition, of becoming a world preaching or anything else, in my mind.' So, my nature is like that. I want the truth, and I hope, I crave for the mercy of the Vaishnavs and you all so that I may not have any other ambition but to be the humblest servant of the Lord, so that I may not be misguided. Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! I pray that I may engage myself in some lower form of service.

'Tad dasa-dasa-dasanam dasatvam dehi me prabhu. O Master, please let me become a servant of a servant of a servant of a His servant.' May my faith be so firm and of such quality that the least offer of His divine service may satisfy me, that I may not ambitiously run high to get a chance in a higher-officer class. May I go on satisfied with my life having the lowest connection with the divinity. Gaura Haribol! Mahaprabhu says, 'I consider Myself a mere particle of dust at Your feet, Krishna.'

অয়ি নন্দতনুজ কিঙ্করং পতিতং মাং বিষমে ভবাম্বুধৌ ।
কৃপয়া তব পাদপঙ্কজস্থিতধূলীসদৃশং বিচিন্তয় ॥

ayi nanda-tanuja kinkaram patitam mam visame bhavambudhau
krpaya tava pada-pankaja-sthita-dhuli-sadrsam vichintaya

'O Son of Nanda, although I am Your servant, I have fallen into this deadly ocean of material existence. Please consider me a particle of dust at Your lotus feet.'

'Consider Me a single particle of dust at Your feet.' May this be our guidance. Those things are too much. Our faith should come to such a great quality that we may be satisfied to become a particle of dust at His feet. By His sweet will, anything may happen, but our humble aim should be to have the least connection with the divinity – with real, not concocted Krishna.

'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the raga-patha, the path of spontaneous loving service, from afar.' It is very sweet. We will always keep raga-patha on our heads – we are servants of the raga-patha – but we must live and move in viddhi-marga, under the scriptural rule.

Once, when Prabhupad was at Radha-kunda, one priest made a side remark in his talk, saying that 'We, brahmans in Vraja, can give our blessing to Das Goswami.' Prabhupad was deeply perturbed by such a haughty remark, 'Das Goswami is the highest acharya in our Gaudiya camp, and that fellow says that he can bless Das Goswami! And I am to hear that?!' He gave up taking food. And he also remarked, 'If I were an ordinary babaji, I would not care – I would simply leave the place. But I am running with a motor car here, acting like an acharya, so I have got the responsibility of protecting the sampradaya. I must brush away all dust and undesirability from the sampradaya. So, how can I, driving a motor car here in Vrindavan, tolerate such a remark against my guru?!' He gave up food, saying, 'I will not eat until some redressal comes. I cannot eat anything until then!' So, Prabhupad began fasting, and we all were fasting, too. Then, one influential person heard the news and came to see Prabhupad. He anyhow managed to bring that brahman, and the brahman begged pardon, 'Please excuse me. I am an ordinary man, a fallen fellow, I did not know about the greatness of Das Goswami. He was born in a kayastha (sudra) family, and I come from a brahman family, so I made that remark with this general idea, but now I realise that I have committed a mistake. Please forgive me.' Then, of course, it was mitigated and Prabhupad took food, and we also took food...

'This is not mere poetry'

'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the path of spontaneous loving service from afar.' Srila Prabhupad's posting was always like that of a servant-protector of the sampradaya. He himself remarked, 'Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur has taken a stance that he is a sweeper at Nityananda Prabhu's Nama-hatta (with a broomstick in his hands, he brushes away and clears all dirt), and I am one of the sticks in his broomstick.' If we take this remark to be sincere, and not some imitation or false assumption, then we can measure what is the unit with which we must construct our bodies to venture to have some hope of entering Vaikuntha, Goloka, the camp of Vraja basis.

'Trinad api sunichena. Be humbler than a blade of grass.' This is not a figurative word, not some ornamental expression – this is real and substantial truth. If we think like that, then we can realise at what level we should take ourselves to be qualified to enter the domain of the Lord, in Goloka. There must be not even the least ambition! We must be cent-per-cent dedicating agents, the meanest of the mean – this is the qualification required of us to enter that domain. We must be humbler than a blade of grass and more tolerant than a tree. If there is cent-per-cent humility, there cannot be any trace of the enjoying spirit, no aggression is possible. To be the meanest of the mean means complete elimination of aggressive nature. That is the only place where aggressive nature cannot be present. To be an aggressor, or an enjoyer, is a property of this world of exploitation, but to enter the domain of dedication, there must be dedication of very high quality.

This is reality; otherwise, it would all be concoction, imagination. If you take this to be imagination, then that world is also imagination to you; and if you take this to be concrete reality, then Goloka is reality to you. In that plane, when you come in contact with Goloka, in contact with such a subtle and fundamental plane, you will see that kind of quality is real. If you have faith in this, then it will be real to you; otherwise, your ambition is to live in a fool's paradise.

...I think I have done something today to give vent to the feeling of my gurudev, to make his position clear.

'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the path of spontaneous loving service from afar.' This is enough! 'Tad dasa-dasa-dasanam dasatvam dehi me prabhu. O Master, please let me become a servant of a servant of a servant of a His servant.' This is not a figurative expression, not mere poetry. Mahaprabhu says,

নাহং বিপ্রো ন চ নরপতির্নাপি বৈশ্যো ন শূদ্রো
নাহং বর্ণী ন চ গৃহপতির্নো বনস্থো যতির্বা ।
কিন্তু প্রোদ্যন্নিখিলপরমানন্দপূর্ণামৃতাব্ধে-
র্গোপীভর্ত্তুঃ পদকমলয়োর্দাসদাসানুদাসঃ ॥

naham vipro na cha nara-patir napi vaisyo na sudro
naham varni na cha grha-patir no vanastho yatir va
kintu prodyan-nikhila-paramananda-purnamrtabdher
gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanudasah

'I am not a brahman, not a ksatriya, not a vaisya, not a sudra; neither am I a brahmachari, a householder, a vanaprastha or a sannyasi. I identify Myself as a servant of the servant of the servant of the lotus feet of Lord Sri Krishna, who is the beloved of the gopis, an ocean of nectar, eternally self-effulgent (self-manifest) and filled with the entire scope of all possible highest ecstasy.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 2.13.80; Padyavali)

This is not some mere ornamental expression; this is reality. It is reality that one must become ostentatiously mean to become genuinely eligible for higher service. It takes so much selflessness and self-abnegation for a unit of the lowest order to enter that domain. There is an undercurrent plane, and if we really want to contact it, we shall have to become like that. We must have no demand. We are to transform ourselves in this negative way, then we can have a touch of that plane, where we can come to the least exploitation. If we retain even a speck of ambitious life, it will not allow us to come there – that is another thing, pratistha.

Pratistha means self-establishment, stability, a desire to be stable, to be immortal, invincible – this is not a self-giving but a self-establishing tendency ('I must stay! I must live!'). No. 'If necessary, I must die for the interest of Krishna.' 'Marabi rakhabi, yo ichchha tohara (মারবি রাখবি—যো ইচ্ছা তোহার). Whether you keep me or kill me, it is up to You.' We must become suicidal soldiers: 'If it is necessary for the cause of my country, I must die, I must efface myself! My very existence can be effaced if it is necessary for the satisfaction of Krishna.' Such a temperament, such selflessness, and of such a degree, is necessary. Search out that plane. It is very subtle.

Let us be blessed by Prabhupad Saraswati Thakur...

You are helping me to take so many beautiful and so many valuable things out of my inner heart. It is through your help that these old memories are becoming again fresh to me, and I am forced to take these things that I have got from my gurudev's wealth out of the inner nature of my previous life. I am again given an opportunity to see that treasury by this recapitulation of what I have heard from the divine feet of my gurudev.

Are you dissatisfied with my answer?

Devotees: No, no!

This is what our education was, and this is what I have got from the divine feet of my gurudev. I have only sincerely put it to you all.

'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the path of spontaneous loving service from afar.' Prabhupad said that we must not come to live in Radha Kunda. There is a single-storey house at Svananda Sukhada Kunja, near Lalita Kunda. One day, Prabhupad said, 'It is necessary to make a second floor here, but I will not be able to live there.' I asked him, 'If you do not live there, who will? Why is further construction necessary then?' He explained, 'No, you do not know. Better persons will live there – Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur, Srila Gaura Kishor Babaji Maharaj – they will live there, and we will live on the ground floor and serve them. We can come there, do our service and leave.' He also said, 'I shall live in Govardhan. Radha Kunda is the highest place, the place of our guru maharaj, gurudev, so they will live here in closer connection with the lila. We are not fit to live there. We shall live in Govardhan, a little far away. Because we must come and serve our gurudev, we must be near, but we must not live in closer connection with them. We are not fit for that.'

'Pujala raga-patha gaurava-bhange (পূজল রাগপথ গৌরব-ভঙ্গে). We shall worship the path of spontaneous loving service from afar.' That was the whole tenor of his life. That ideal, that lila is very high, too high for us, so we are to honour it from below. We shall establish this sort of posing in the whole world.

One day in Allahabad (it was, perhaps, the same year when Srila Swami Maharaj was initiated), when Srila Prabhupad was speaking at the Malaka park, he said, 'I challenge anybody to come out to this open field (maydan, ময়দান) and fight – I am ready to fight anybody and everybody to show that my gurudev, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur, Srila Gaura Kishor Babaji Maharaj, Mahaprabhu, take the highest position and establish my gurudev's throne in the highest place. Let anybody come forth and fight with me to decide it. I am ready!'

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