(5/5) Our Hopeful Determination

His Divine Grace
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj,
Sri Nabadwip Dham, 1 April 2010, part 5

Gurudev's quality and his power of memory were extraordinary. I saw it myself. I spoke to him one day before he was going to leave his body, on 26 March, and I saw how sharp his memory and mind were. He told me privately, 'I got so much pain when I was leaving Nabadwip...' He also told me about where his deed, keys and other various things were kept. He even told me that there was a ring kept in his bank locker in Nabadwip. He said, 'I was at the bank five years ago, and there was one ring kept there.' I was with Gurudev that day, but I did not see what was in the locker. He said he remembered that I was there too and told me that there was only one ring kept there. He went to the bank five years ago, but he remembered it – you can understand how sharp his memory was, and you can also understand how strong his attachment to his Guru Maharaj's temple was.

Gurudev said once, 'There are many brahmacharis living at the temple, but they do not even know how many windows they have in their ooms. But I know how many bricks each temple has! I know everything because I did everything with my own hands.' Gurudev's quality is incomparable. We cannot even conceive of it.

We can only pray to him, 'Please forgive my offence.' This is all; nothing else. We are not asking for anything – not for any temples, not for any things. Gurudev said that we must not even ask for mercy! You can only say, 'Please forgive my offence.' Even asking for mercy is also a kind of hankering, a kind of asking mood, desire mood. Do not ask even for mercy; you can only say, 'Please forgive my offence.'

Gurudev is non-different from Nityananda Prabhu, non-different from Srimati Radharani:

সাক্ষাদ্ধরিত্বেন সমস্ত-শাস্ত্রৈ-
রুক্তস্তথা ভাব্যত এব সদ্ভিঃ ।
কিন্তু প্রভোর্যঃ প্রিয় এব তস্য
বন্দে গুরোঃ শ্রীচরণারবিন্দম্ ॥

saksadd-haritvena samasta-sastrair
uktas tatha bhavyata eva sadbhih
kintu prabhor yah priya eva tasya
vande guroh sri-charanaravindam

'I offer my obeisance unto the lotus feet of Sri Guru, who is said by all scriptures to be no doubt the Supreme Lord Himself and considered to be so by pious souls but who is also no doubt the Lord's dear associate.'

(Sri Sri Gurvastakam, Srila Visvanath Chakravarti Thakur)

This is his plane.

Gurudev said, 'I never follow sastras. What is sastra? All I know is that I must follow my gurudev's order.' One time, Govinda asked his guru, Sri Ishwar Puri, 'Gurudev, after you leave your body, what is my duty?' Sri Ishwar Puri replied, 'What is the problem? You must go to Mahaprabhu and serve Him!' Soon after that, Sri Ishwar Puri left his body, and Govinda came to Mahaprabhu. Mahaprabhu told him, 'Prabhu, you are My godbrother. Moreover, you are My gurudev's servitor! How can I use you for My service?' Then, Mahaprabhu spoke to Sri Svarup Damodar and Ray Ramananda. He asked them, 'What should I do? Govinda is asking Me for service, and He wants to be My personal servitor. But how can I engage him in My service? Sastras say, "Gurur sevak haya manya se amara (গুরুস সেবক হয় মান্য সে আমার). I must always give honour to the servitor of gurudev" (Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 2.10.142) Then how can I use him in My service?' Ray Ramananda or Svarup Damodar replied, 'Yes, there is what sastras say, and there is also what Your gurudev ordered – which will You follow? Will You follow sastras (scriptures) or the order of your gurudev?' Mahaprabhu said, 'Yes! I must follow My gurudev's order. So, I must appoint Govinda to serve Me as My servitor.' This is what happened in Mahaprabhu's time.

There are many similar examples. You must think what is essential for service and you must do that which is necessary for service. For example, one day Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu had been dancing and chanting the whole day, and He had become very tired. When He returned to His room in Gambhira, He fell asleep right in the doorway of His room. There was only one entrance, so Govinda, who would come to massage His feet every day, could not enter (the door was small and Mahaprabhu, who was seven-feet tall, was lying across the entrance). How will he massage the Lord's feet? Anyhow, Govinda wanted to enter inside.

'Prabhu, please move inside, I must massage Your feet,' he asked Mahaprabhu.

'I cannot move!' Mahaprabhu replied. 'I am too tired.'

'But I do this service every day...'

'That is up to you. Whether you do it or not, it is your matter, not Mine.'

Then, Govinda thought, 'Every day I come and do this service, so I will do it today, too.' Then, he put his uttariya cloth down, stepped over Mahaprabhu's body and then put on his head whatever dust that had fallen from his feet on the cloth. Govinda massaged Mahaprabhu's feet, and Mahaprabhu slept soundly.

When Mahaprabhu woke up at midnight, He saw Govinda sitting in the room, sitting against the wall and dozing.

'What is this? Why are you inside? Did you not go to take prasadam? Why did you not go to sleep?' Mahaprabhu asked.

'Prabhu,' Govinda replied, 'how shall I go? You are lying in the doorway!'

'How did you come inside then?'

'Prabhu, I came inside crossing Your body – I made this offence – for Your service. But I cannot cross You for my own things, it is will be an offence.'

So, if we do something for the service to the Lord, for the service to gurudev, and some offence comes in the meantime, we do not mind it; and also it is said in Srimad Bhagavad-gita:

অপি চেৎ সুদুরাচারো ভজতে মামনন্যভাক্ ।
সাধুরেব স মন্তব্যঃ সম্যগ্ব্যবসিতো হি সঃ ॥

api chet suduracharo, bhajate mam ananya-bhak
sadhur eva sa mantavyah, samyag vyavasito hi sah

'If even a very sinful person serves Me exclusively with devotion, he should be regarded as saintly, for his resolve is perfect.'

(Srimad Bhagavad-gita, 9.30)

Somebody can be a very bad person – somebody may have done wrong many wrong things before – but if this person surrenders to the Lord, to gurudev, then Krishna Himself says, 'I will remove all their offences and engage them in service.' That is our hope. 'Sudurachar' means the worst possible person. If somebody surrenders to the Lord fully, unconditionally, then the Lord removes all their offences, all their faults and engages them in service, even that person has done much wrong. That is our hope. We have done many things wrong, it is not like we are washed Tulasi leaves – all of us have some bad qualities. So, what hope is there for us? We follow the will and the order of our gurudev, and we must have desire and determination to serve gurudev. This is our only hope. We must fully surrender to gurudev.

We have come here for service, so we must practise every day sravanam (hearing about the Lord), kirtanam (chanting the Lord's Name and glories), smaranam (remembering the Lord), vandanam (offering obeisances and prayers to the Lord), archanam (worshipping the Lord's Deity), dasyam (serving the Lord as a servant), sakhyam (serving the Lord as a friend), atma-nivedanam (submitting yourself to the Lord), pada-sevanam (serving the Lord’s lotus feet). We must gradually learn to practise everything and serve every day, wherever we may be staying. This is what we have got this body for. If we do not use this body to serve gurudev, then this body is useless. If we use our bodies to serve Deities, to serve gurudev and to serve his Mission, then it will be helpful for us. That is our hope.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
Om Vishnupad Srila Bhakti Sundar Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay.
Om Vishnupad Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj ki jay.
Samagata Sri Gaura-bhakta-vrinda ki jay.
Harinama-sankirtana ki jay.
Nitai Gaura prema-anande Hari Hari bol.

[His Divine Grace chants 'Emona durmati', 'Hari Haraye Nama Krsna', recites Jaya Dhvani and concludes the class.]

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READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Gurudev's Early Days at the Temple
2) Gurudev's Love for the Temple
3) Gurudev's Love and Affection
4) Our Desperate Hope
5) Our Hopeful Determination