Internal Dissatisfaction

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
19 July 2013

Question: How can we follow Gurudev's advice, "My religion is to find fault in my own self"?

The first question is—what is my religion? First we must find out what our religion is, then if we practise properly, if we follow Krishna consciousness properly, we can easily understand, "Is what I am doing right or wrong?" The problem is ego. If somebody has ego, they cannot find any fault in themselves. If we practise properly, if we follow Gurudev's advice and instruction clearly, then we can easily find out, "Am I going in the right or wrong direction?" Then you will understand, "Actually, I am not practising properly, I am not following Krishna consciousness properly. Secretly I am doing wrong things." This kind of feeling will always "knock" in you.

Be simple-hearted. If you have no kutinati (deceit, duplicity), no zigzag behaviour, no contradiction in your heart and mind—if your mind is clear and you are simple-hearted—then you will see whether what you are doing is right or wrong, whether you follow 90%, 80% or 100%. You will understand it easily. This is the main thing, and it is an easy matter.

I know Gurudev said these words ("my religion is to find fault in myself") many times, but first understand what religion means. For example, what is the religion of water? To flow. If you put some water into a green pot, it will look green; if you put it in a red pot, it will look red. In the same way, if you wear blue spectacles, you will see everything in blue colour; if you wear black spectacles, you will see everything as black; but you must have clear spectacles, then you can see everything clearly. What is our religion? Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur explains that the jiva soul's religion (jaiva-dharma) means that we are a jiva soul and we must serve the Supreme Personality of Godhead. How will we serve Him? Under the guidance of a great Vaishnav or Guru. That is the religion of every jiva soul. How many percent we can follow that depends upon each devotee, depends upon their faith, depends upon their surrender.

I told yesterday also—do we think about our own interest or Gurudev's and the Lord's interest? Do we think about our own happiness or our Guru's happiness? That is necessary to understand. I may not be so much satisfied, but if our Gurudev is satisfied, then it is actually good and sufficient. If you can eventually make your Gurudev happy and both you and your Guru are happy, then your life will be fulfilled and successful. This is the main thing.

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