Understanding Mercy

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Nabadwip Dham, 12 March 2017, part 2

"Sarala hale gorara siksa bujhiya la-ibe: if you are sincere and simple-hearted you will understand Gora's teachings." (Sri Prema-vivarta, 8.3) It is necessary to be simple-hearted, it is necessary to be gentle. If you have a critical mind (if you like criticising others), you cannot understand the teachings of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Moreover, if you do not practise properly (do not engage in proper achar), how can you preach? If you do not practise properly, you cannot preach in this line properly.

So many Indian devotees have come here, and I have to speak Bengali to them, but sometimes I also speak some English in-between Bengali. I speak mostly Bengali because if I speak English and Bengali, then what will Sripad Tyagi Maharaj and Srila Janardan Maharaj say? They are experts in English, that is why I do not speak so much in English during the parikrama time, I leave something for them. Sripad Tyagi Maharaj knows the conception well, he knows slokas well, that is why I give some advantage to him. I also send him to preach door to door in foreign countries in lieu of me. This is my desire—because I cannot go abroad at this time, I send him to preach Krishna consciousness, I send him to spread Gurudev's and Mahaprabhu's message, and he is doing it. I am very happy with that. He is young and can do it, Srila Janardan Maharaj is now becoming sick. This time Srila Ashram Maharaj told me, "Maharaj, I came in September and now I must go for preaching in South America, but later, at the time when foreign devotees are not there in India, the opposition group always becomes strong, and I am thinking it is better if I come at that time." He asked me if it was OK, and I said, "Yes, it is OK. You can come later, then you can do some service here with your group."

Sriman Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's conception is,

তৃণাদপি সুনীচেন তরোরিব সহিষ্ণুনা ।
অমানিনা মানদেন কীর্ত্তনীয়ঃ সদা হরিঃ ॥

trnad api sunichena taror api sahisnuna
amanina manadena kirtaniyah sada harih

"One who is humbler than a blade of grass, more forbearing than a tree, who gives honour to others without desiring it for himself, is qualified to always chant the Holy Name of Krishna."

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Antya-lila, 6.239)

But at the same time you see that sometimes Nityananda Prabhu kicked the head of Sivananda Sen with His leg, He kicked the head of Raghunath Das Goswami with His leg, and you must understand this. Mahaprabhu said, "Trnad api sunichena, be humbler than a blade of grass," but He also showed anger to Chapal Gopal. Mahaprabhu was also angry with Madhai, but Nityananda Prabhu gave mercy to him, but at another time Nityananda Prabhu kicked Sivananda Sen's head, He put His leg on the head of Sri Raghunath Das Goswami. Chastising does not mean that Gurudev does not like you.

I think Gurudev chastised me more than anyone else. Gurudev said, "If I chastise anyone else, they will run away, they will not stay here." Gurudev chastised me, Gurudev even kicked me. One time Gurudev called me to come to Kolkata. When I came to him, he asked me,

"Do you need money?"

"Not necessary now," I answered.

Gurudev was lying down, but suddenly, he kicked me and said, "How will you run the temple then?!"

"Later, when you come to Nabadwip for Gaura Purnima, I will take some money," I explained. But he kicked me with his leg saying, "Why are you not taking money?! You are arranging the Gaura Purnima festival, how will you do it without money? Why do you say you do not need money?!"

He told me many times, "Get out from my veranda," and he would tell in front of everybody, "He is my own man. I always tell that boy to get out, but he always comes back." (I would get out, but would always come back in five minutes or so.) Then, you can see how much tolerance I have. I have qualification, I can get any job outside, it is not a problem, but Gurudev told me personally, "You are here, and when I go outside India I feel peace and can preach there properly because I know you are here. Even though I have so many enemies I do not have to worry." This is how Gurudev gave love and affection to me and all the devotees also.

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