(6/7) Guru-Disciple Sambandha

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Tarakeswar, evening, 27 September 2019, part 6
Translated from Bengali

What should be the relationship between the guru and the disciple?

The relationship between the guru and the disciple is eternal and full of sweetness.

You should follow the etiquette appropriate for your qualification or right. Every practitioner of devotion should have a sense of etiquette. Those who have stronger devotion, stronger service and stronger love are the best practitioners. We cannot say, 'Oh, Radharani is like this, and we are also like this.' In the domain of devotion, nothing is the same. It is in the material world that many people like to say, 'I came to the temple many years ago!', 'I am Gurudev's disciple!', 'I am Srila Sridhar Maharaj's disciple!', 'I am Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaj Prabhupad's disciple!' These things (when you took initiation, how old you are, and so on) matter only in the material world. The older you are, the higher position you get; the more money you have, the more respect you get – this may be considered a qualification in the material world, but in the domain of devotion, these things do not matter. What matters there is being enriched with love and devotion.

Many people say that they want their gurudev's mercy. They call their guru on the phone and say, 'Oh, please give me some mercy.' They come in front of the guru and also say this. But if you tell them to do something, they immediately pay obeisance and go away! There should not be such a relationship between the guru and the disciple.

There is a relationship between a father and a son, between a husband and a wife, but the relationship between a guru and a disciple is much more than that. This is not a relationship between a shopkeeper and a customer: 'Take anything you want – as long as you pay for it.' This is a relationship between a creditor and a borrower. When a schoolmaster teaches students, he charges a fee; there is no relationship between them. In your relationship with your sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends, you love them so much that you do not see their faults even when they do something wrong. If a husband have a real wife, or a real son, his wife or son will never ask him for anything. For example, if the husband does not give clothes to his wife, she will not complain or see his fault.

'Oh, I have accepted a guru. He has given me the mantra, and I have given him a donation. Done.' This is not a relationship – this is a business transaction. When there is a relationship between the guru and the disciple, there is spiritual benefit. Relationship is based on love and service. If there is no love, there is neither service nor a relationship. Therefore, a mere exchange of mantras does not create a relationship, but when you take the mantra from your guru, it creates a possibility for this relationship to develop – but it is necessary to have love, then this relationship can be formed. If you have such kind of a loving relationship, you must certainly be successful in your spiritual life.

There are many gurus in this world. They give mantras, they take donations – such gurus open their temples and run them like shops. You can find many such gurus and temples in this world. If you come to them, they will not let you go back. You can take initiation from them, but it will not bring you any spiritual benefit. When you go to a shop, you give the shopkeeper ten rupees, and the shopkeepers gives you a hundred grams of mustard oil. It is the same with such gurus – you give them ten rupees as a donation, and they give you a set of beads, and the initiation is finished at this. It is useless.

There are many gurus in this world, but the number of disciples is very small. Some may say, 'You have many disciples here.' Yes, they may have taken the mantra, but they are not necessarily disciples. You can see many people living at temples, but there are very few disciples among them. Who is a disciple (sisya)? It is the one who accepts disciplining (sasan). ‘Disciplining’ means flogging, lashing, or scolding, but the real meaning of the word 'disciplining' is not beating, but correction, uplifting, giving benefit; it means picking up and uplifting disciples from whatever position they may be in.

There are thousands and thousands of disciples who come to take the mantra, but in most cases, that guru–disciple relationship does not come because people do not want to be guided by their gurudev. Many say, 'I am gurudev's disciple!' but when their guru tells them anything, they reply, 'I will not listen to you! Why must I listen to your advice?' Very few people want to be chastised, like Srila Sanatan Goswami did, but it is necessary to have the kind of obedience that Srila Sanatan Goswami and Srila Jagadananda Pandit had.

'I want to be chastised by my guru! I want to follow his instruction to a T!' This should be the disciple's mood. Remember this. This is the meaning of determination. Many people come to take the mantra and say, 'Gurudev, I want to take the mantra from you, please give your mercy, please give your blessings so that all my family problems get resolved.' They do not pray for spiritual benefit. If the disciple wants what is good for him, then there will be a relationship between the guru and the disciple.

The disciple should feel, 'I am a piece of raw clay, you can make anything you want from me – you can make me a water pot, a cooking pot or anything else you want. I do not mind it. I want a relationship with my guru, and I want to follow his order to a T.' This should not be only lip-deep – we must want it in words, in writing, in our hearts, in our minds.

There is no lack of people who come to their guru to give obeisances (pranam) and donations (pranami). There are many disciples who offer flowers to gurudev's picture or who come to offer garlands to the guru, but there are very few people who would want to accept disciplining properly and change their life according to it. If you have got the mantra and want to become a disciple, you must practise. One does not become a disciple just by taking the mantra. If you can digest chastisement and can mould yourself accordingly, then you may become a disciple.

Just as there are very few disciples, there are also very few gurus. There is actually only one spiritual guru. Just as there is only one Supreme Lord, the guru is also one. There are not many of them, but that is another subject.

Here is an example. When you do parikrama, you circumambulate a holy place with your feet (pada), and this is also service (pada-sevanam). A holy temple is adorned by Tulasi, and when you see Tulasi, you can remember the temple. On the other hand, you can decorate the temple with lights and crotons (crotons are beautiful trees, but they do not have any flowers), this beauty would not be there. Those who have the eyes can see and feel supra-mundane beauty.

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Length: 74 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Tarakeswar: Turning Point
2) Jewel Devotees
3) Rectifying Stray Temples
4) Disciple's Determination
5) The Meaning of Kirtan
6) Guru-Disciple Sambandha
7) Service Attracts More Service