(2/3) 'My Actual Happiness'

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Divine Appearance Day, Sri Vyasa Puja
Kolkata—Colombia & Venezuela, 17 October 2020, part 2

...This is how I have got an opportunity to do service, and Gurudev chose me as his dog to serve the Mission, so I am trying my best. Although I have left the head office of Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, devotees are saying, 'Maharaj, where you are now, that is Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math.'

Actually, what is a temple? A temple is not just some building. You can have a big building, but there will be only many rats and cockroaches living there. Now there are only rats and cockroaches living in those buildings because there are no devotees living there. But you are all making this festival, and there can be only five or ten of you, or there can be a hundred devotees – it is not a question of number. It is the quality that matters: devotees are giving themselves, giving their hearts to their guru...

I feel very fortunate that you are giving me so much love and affection owing to Gurudev: because Gurudev gave much love and affection to you, you are are now giving love and affection to me. I also feel somewhat afraid, but Gurudev told me that all pratistha is for gurudev. So, when somebody gives you a garland, you should think, 'I am not wearing this garland; I am giving this garland to my guru's lotus feet.' When I see devotees all over the world bowing themselves down at the lotus feet of Gurudev, that is my actual happiness, this is what actually pleases me.

When I see that even my guru-varga (who are senior to me) are giving so much love and affection to me, I feel grateful to them. I am always making offences. 'Amara jivana sada pape rata nahika punyera lesa (আমার জীবন সদা পাপে রত নাহিক পুণ্যের লেশ). My life is always engrossed in sin. There is not a trace of piety in it' (Saranagati). My mind is always going in a bad direction, I can get angry, and it sometimes creates a problem. But Gurudev said one time that in this Kali-yuga, among those who will join this movement, there will be people who will come as demons. We know that Krishna lives in each and every living entity (sarva-jive Krsna-adhisthan, সর্ব্বজীবে কৃষ্ণ-অধিষ্ঠান), but in some people, there is also some demoniac mentality and they behave like demons (they beat devotees, they disturb the devotees, and so on). Gurudev said that they will come wearing kanthi-malas and tilaks, but they will behave as demons, like they did in Mahabharata.

I am thinking how many austerities Prahlad Maharaj tolerated, how much pain he got from his father, but he did not think or feel it was painful. What did he pray to Lord Nrisinghadev for? For his father. In the story of Ambharish Maharaj and Durvasa Muni also, Durvasa Muni was terrified and ran everywhere from the chakra, but Ambharish Maharaj prayed to the chakra, 'Please spare Durvasa Muni! Please protect him!' This is what a devotee's character is.

Devotees' character should be:

তৃণাধিক হীন দীন অকিঞ্চন ছার ।
আপনে মানবি সদা ছাড়ি অহঙ্কার ॥

trnadhika hina, dina, akinchana chhara
apane manabi sada chhadi ahankara

'Give up ego and consider yourself lower than a blade of grass, poor, destitute and wretched.'

বৃক্ষসম ক্ষমাগুণ করবি সাধন ।
প্রতিহিংসা ত্যজি অন্যে করবি পালন ॥

vrksa-sama ksama-guna karabi sadhana
pratihimsa tyaji anye karabi palana

'Practise forgiveness like that of a tree; do not be vindictive, nurture others.'

জীবন-নির্ব্বাহে আনে উদ্বেগ না দিবে ।
পর-উপকারে নিজ-সুখ পাসরিবে ॥

jivana-nirvahe ane udvega na dibe
para-upakare nija-sukha pasaribe

'Live without causing anxiety to others; do good unto others, forsaking your own happiness.'

(Gitavali, Sri Siksastakam Giti, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

'Pratihimsa tyaji' (do not be vindictive) means that even if somebody beats you, you must pay your obesiance to them. This is our culture, and it is very important to follow it.

All right, I have said many things today. I heard that somebody is waiting to take initiation...

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READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Serve Carefully
2) 'My Actual Happiness'
3) Always Chant