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(4/8) Family Matters

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Preaching programme, Basirhat, evening,
14 December 2020, part 4


সংসার সংসার ক'রে মিছে গেল কাল ।
লাভ না হইল কিছু ঘটিল জঞ্জাল ॥

'samsara' 'samsara' kari' michhe gela kala
labha na ha-ila kichhu, ghatila janjala

'Time has passed as I have been busy with my material life, and the result is nothing—only garbage.'

(Sri Kalyan-kalpataru, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

You think, 'How can I leave my family? I have my husband, sons, daughters...' I am not telling anybody to leave their families. We sing in one of the kirtans, 'Grhe thako, vane thako, sada Hari bole dako (গৃহে থাক, বনে থাক সদা 'হরি' বলে ডাক), whether you stay in a house or in a forest, always call out the Holy Name.' Worship and serve the Lord wherever you are, whatever your situation is. Whatever your situation is, you must follow the rules (live a spiritual life). 'Kariya Krsnera samsara chhadi' anachara (করিয়া কৃষ্ণের সংসার ছাড়ি' অনাচার)—you must make your family Krishna's family and give up all unwanted and unfavourable habits.' Do you understand what 'anachar' (bad habits) means? Drinking alcohol, smoking, chewing paan, eating fish and meat, onion, garlic, eggs, etc. Do not do all these things.

জিহ্বার লালসে যেই ইতি-উতি ধায় ।
শিশ্নোদরপরায়ণ সে কৃষ্ণ নাহি পায় ॥

jihvara lalase yei iti-uti dhaya
sisnodara-parayana se krsna nahi paya

'One who is subservient to the tongue and who thus goes here and there, devoted to the genitals and the belly, cannot attain Krishna.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 3.6.227)

We chanted:

সংসার সংসার ক'রে মিছে গেল কাল ।
লাভ না হইল কিছু ঘটিল জঞ্জাল ॥

'samsara' 'samsara' kari' michhe gela kala
labha na ha-ila kichhu, ghatila janjala

'Time has passed as I have been busy with my material life, and the result is nothing—only garbage.'

(Sri Kalyan-kalpataru, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

We have lived in so many families! When we were pigs, we had very big families, with many wives and children. How many children do dogs have? They give birth to up to ten puppies every year – some survive, some die, as the Providence dispenses. Have you never seen dogs' puppies lying dead on the streets? They keep breeding every year. When we were dogs, we lived like that, too – we spread our family more and more. We have had so many daughters, so many sons.

Even Indra one time had to be born as a pig... Many people want to go to heaven, but sadhus do not want heaven. Do you know why?

নাহি মাগি স্বর্গ, আর মোক্ষ নাহি মাগি ।
না করি প্রার্থনা কোন বিভূতির লাগি’ ॥

nahi magi svarga ara moksa nahi magi
na kari prarthana kona vibhutira lagi

'I do not pray for heaven, I do not pray for liberation, and I do not pray for any godly opulence or powers.'

(Sri Siksastakam, 4, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

'I do not want any opulence or powers! I do not want to have any magical powers. I want neither heaven nor liberation.' This is what Mahaprabhu says. What does liberation mean? It means merging with the Lord, after which you will not even be able to feel your existence (you will not be able to feel or recognise yourself). What do devotees want? 'Wherever I am, whatever situation the Lord arranges for me, may I always be able to serve You, O Lord, in some way, birth after birth.'

Even if you live in heaven, it is temporary. The more piety you have amassed, the longer you will stay in heaven, and when you run out of pious merit, you will have to leave heaven and come back to earth. For example, there are prison houses. If you steal something, you get two years in prison; and if you kill somebody, you can get twenty years in prison. In the same way, the more sins you have committed, the longer you will have to stay in hell; the fewer sins you have committed, the shorter your stay in hell will be. It works the same with piety and heaven. But no matter how long you stay in heaven, you have to come back from there and suffer from birth, death, old age and disease. But if you become a devotee, you can have a completely different fate – if you become a genuine devotee. It is not so easy to become a devotee...

'"Ami ta vaisnava" e buddhi haile amani na ha'ba ami ('আমি ত বৈষ্ণব' এ বুদ্ধি হইলে অমানী না হ'ব আমি). If I think, "I am a Vaishnav," then I will never stop expecting honour from others.' Those who say that they have become Vaishnavs can never be Vaishnavs. Vaishnav Thakur always feels extremely poor, 'I have no capacity, I have no power, I do not know anything. I am a lowly servant of your holy feet.' Vaishnav Thakur pays obeisances even to his disciples: when a disciple comes to Vaishnav Thakur to offer an obeisance, Vaishnav Thakur says, 'I am your servant (daso 'smi).' But in our country, if a guru pays obeisances to his disciples, the disciples will think, 'Gurudev has come and offered me obeisances, how sinful it is for me!' That is why I do not do it outwardly, but I say in my mind, 'I am your menial servant.'

I have brought you to this path only so that you can practise Krishna consciousness. I do not want money or any things from anybody. The only thing I want from you all is that you may come to this line and practise Krishna consciousness in a pure way. I want you to follow the pure line. This is my only prayer to you all, there is nothing else I pray for. I do not come to you to waste your food. There is no question of me coming here so many times just to waste your food every time. I do not lack anything – Gurudev is taking good care of me, so I do not lack anything. My only lack, or sadness, is that there are some devotees who come in this Kali-yuga, they have got a human birth, but they have to suffer the reaction for their actions and go away, getting another birth again. That is very sad. They have heard Hari-katha, Krishna-katha, they have come to the right path, but they become derailed. They have one leg in Vaikuntha and one leg outside – if they are fortunate, their second leg can come to Vaikuntha too, and if they are not fortunate, then both legs can fall into this world. I have seen this many times. People take Gurudev's shelter, but then they start eating meat again, they do not fast on ekadasi, they do not listen to what Gurudev says, they do not practise anything. What will become of them? They commit an offence of disregarding the guru, then you can imagine what a bad future awaits them. That is why I come here and tell you again and again about this.

Why do I come every year? If you charge your phone, it will work nicely for one–two days, and after that you must plug it in and charge it again. In the same way, if we do not speak Hari-katha, if we do not come from time to time, you will also run out of 'charge'. You will hear something bad or mix with some bad association today, you will hear some things here and there tomorrow – gradually, you will develop some kutinati (কুটিনাটী, insincerity, duplicity) and end up derailing.

I am telling you nicely: you are all my family, you are all close to me, you are my own. I do not have a material family, I have never got married, but my family are devotees. You are all my family – you are my mothers, my sisters, my brothers, my friends, my everything. I am not gurudev: I am only explaining these things to you, I am saying some unpleasant things, I am chastising you only as the head of your Krishna-centred family. If you do not hear these things, it will be your loss. Families have a father at home, and he also chastises his children, 'Do not do like this', 'Do not go this way', 'Go this way' – he always guides his children so that they can live the right way, he does it for their benefit.


— : • : —





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Size: 23.7 Mb
Length: 53 min
Language: Bengali




1) Subdue Your Tongue
2) Surrender or Suffer!
3) Eternal Benefit
4) Family Matters
5) Search Beyond Maya
6) Mining Innermost Humility
7) What Is Your Substance?
8) Live and Learn




Managing or Damaging?
'We have all come here because we want be a servitor—we do not want to become a manager. I came here as a sweeper, and I want to die as a sweeper.'

Everybody has some plan, but Krishna said, 'I have My own plan,
and you must go with My plan.'