(6/7) Knowledge of Relationship

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Uluberia, 19 December 2020, noon, part 6
Translated from Bengali

I will sing a new Vaishnav Thakur kirtan today.

কৃপা কর বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর ।
সম্বন্ধ জানিয়া ভজিতে ভজিতে
অভিমান হউ দূর ॥

krpa kara vaisnava thakura
sambandha janiya bhajite bhajite
abhimana hau dura

'Please be merciful to me, Vaishnav Thakur! I pray that my ego goes away and I may worship the Lord knowing the relationship.'

(Sri Kalyan-kalpataru, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

It is said there that we must worship the Lord knowing the relationship. What is this relationship? Is it like the relationship with your father, mother, friends, brothers, relatives, uncles and aunts? What is our relationship with Vaishnavs? 'You are a Vaishnav, so you are my master, and I am your servant.' Even a father should pay obeisance to his son.

One time, a brahmachari, who had left the temple and got married, came to Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj. He had been a householder for a few months, eating at home, but then he felt he could not take it any longer because his wife was not initiated. This happens among you all, too. If you come to this line but your wife is not initiated, you should not eat from her hand. This is the rule. Many people take initiation, but if their wives are not initiated, then the scriptures say:

বিষয়ীর অন্ন খাইলে মলিন হয় মন ।
মলিন মন হৈলে, নহে কৃষ্ণ-নাম গ্রহণ ॥

visayira anna khaile malina haya mana
malina mana haile, nahe krsna-nama grahana

'If you eat food that comes from materialistic people, it will contaminate your mind. And if your mind becomes contaminated, you will not be able to chant the Name of Krishna.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 3.6.278)

You must not eat anything from the hands of materialists (visayi). If you are married and your wife cooks for you, she must also take initiation. Where? From a guru. So, that brahmachari came to Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj with his wife, saying, 'Gurudev, please do not take my offence. I have ended up getting married.'

'Oh, well and good', Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj said. 'So, you want your wife to take initiation now, too?'

'Yes, gurudev.'

'All right, I will give her initiation, but I have a condition. You will go to the market and buy bhoga and your wife will cook. If you have time, you will then offer bhoga to the Lord, and if you do not have time, she will do it. After offering bhoga and doing arati, etc., your wife will take prasad first, and you will take her remnants. If you do this, you will not see your wife as a object of your enjoyment. Your wife is Krishna's maidservant (your guru's maidservant), and you are Krishna's servant (your guru's maidservant). Otherwise, you will think, "This is my wife! She will do whatever I say!" This will not do.'

This is what is called relationship. 'I am your servant.'

Saying this, Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj added, 'And you must call your wife Didi [sister], and she must call you "Prabhu" [master].'

This is how we must live. If you imbibe this kind of relationship in your life, your ego will go away – you will not think that you have become a Vaishnav. if you worship the Lord and practise establishing yourself in this relationship, your ego will go away. This is what real relationship is.

— : • : —

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Length: 68 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Last Rites
2) Gist of Fire Sacrifice
3) Remembering Departure of Haridas Thakur
4) Seek Devotion
5) Nought in a Knot
6) Knowledge of Relationship
7) Worshipful Mood