Gurudev's Disappearance

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Disappearance festival of Srila Govinda Maharaj
Siliguri, 24 April 2021, part 1
Translated from Bengali

Today is the holy disappearance day of Om Vishnupad Jagad Guru Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj. Today, Sri Gurupadpadma left this world... It is a very painful separation day, but we are peacefully observing this day today. Vaishnavs' disappearance and appearance are the same, they are non-different from each other—Vaishnavs are the Lord's very own, Gurudev is the Lord's very own associate.

সাক্ষাদ্ধরিত্বেন সমস্ত-শাস্ত্রৈ-
রুক্তস্তথা ভাব্যত এব সদ্ভিঃ ।
কিন্তু প্রভোর্যঃ প্রিয় এব তস্য
বন্দে গুরোঃ শ্রীচরণারবিন্দম্ ॥

saksadd-haritvena samasta-sastrair
uktas tatha bhavyata eva sadbhih
kintu prabhor yah priya eva tasya
vande guroh sri-charanaravindam

"I offer my obeisance unto the lotus feet of Sri Guru, who is said by all the scriptures to be the Lord Himself, and considered to be so by the sadhus, yet is also the Lord's beloved devotee."

(Sri Sri Gurvastakam, 7)

So, today is the disappearance day of Sri Gurupadpadma—he chose this day and left this world, left our sight on this day, at 4:20-30 in the morning. He is present now in his samadhi form and bestowing his mercy upon us from there. He always stays within his eternal pastimes. The Lord and Gurudev always stay within their eternal pastimes. Gurudev gave us all charge and is now giving his mercy from there. Without his mercy, we would not have been able to live to this day, we would not have been able to practise Krishna consciousness to this day. If Gurudev does not bestow his mercy on us, we will be removed from service and Krishna consciousness. Without mercy of Gurudev we cannot think about Harinam, Hari-seva, about worshipping the Lord or practising Krishna consciousness. Without his mercy, we cannot know, we cannot understand anything about what is service, what is the worship of the Lord, or what is Krishna consciousness.

This day is very pathetic for me and for everybody also. This day is intolerable for me. I can tolerate so many things, but this day, when Gurudev left, is unbearable.

The day before Gurudev left this world, I had come from Nabadwip to see Gurudev in Kolkata. I had met with him, spoken with him, and I could not even imagine that Gurudev would leave me the next day... The day when I came to see Gurudev was ekadasi, you all know it (it was ekadasi yesterday). I had to go back to Nabadwip the same day because I was supposed to go for a preaching programme in Mednipore, but the next day, in the morning, when I heard the news at 4:45 or 4:30, I could not understand what I had to do. Somebody told me I had to go to Kolkata, so I went to Kolkata to see Gurudev.

So, I came to Kolkata again... Then, an ambulance was arranged, everyone was there—Gurudev's daughter and his grandson were also there, some devotees were also there. I took Gurudev to Nabadwip in the ambulance. We arrived in Nabadwip in the afternoon. I gave the news to all television, radio, newspapers, etc. I also sent a message to all Gaudiya Maths' acharyas in Mayapur Vaishnav Association—hearing the news, they sent their representatives to see Gurudev...

Actually, the place where Gurudev's samadhi mandir is now was chosen by Gurudev himself. Initially, I prepared a place near the main gate, near Srila Sridhar Maharaj's bhajan kutir, but Gurudev said he preferred to stay near his Guru Maharaj's samadhi mandir. First, he said he wanted me to tell everyone to burn his body and throw it in the Ganges, but I said that it was impossible because his followers all over the world would not accept it. Then, Gurudev said, "OK, if they do not accept it, then I would rather you kept me near my Guru Maharaj's samadhi mandir."

There was a mango tree in that place. It was almost dead, and slowly, slowly it died, and there was only a little stump left. We took out that stump and started digging the ground for Gurudev's samadhi... When we brought Gurudev to Nabadwip, we bathed his body with ghee, Ganges water, etc. It was almost five o'clock in the evening, but I remember Gurudev's body was just like before. Gurudev's transcendental body remained just the way it was when his soul had left it. There was no change in the colour or anything else. It was very soft and beautiful—his body was as soft as cotton... I was surprised to see that. Such the body of a transcendental devotee.

After Gurudev's body was bathed on top of Srila Sridhar Maharaj's samadhi mandir, it was then seated in his samadhi... Somehow everyone told me that I had to go down inside the hole to write the Brahma gayatri with some tilak clay on his body and to put the tilaks also. I could not control myself that day—I did not understand anything, I could not think straight. I do not know how, but somehow I went down, did what they told me to do, and then they started putting the soil... When the soil was up to Gurudev's head, I could not stay there any more. I went far away as I could not bear to see that sight. After that, I did not stay there. When everything was finished, they offered bhoga to Gurudev, did the arati, and placed a Tulasi tree on top. I had also got some new corrugated iron and arranged a fence on the four sides of the samadhi and covered it with a roof. Forty days later I started making Gurudev's samadhi mandir. This is the rule—it is possible to start making a samadhi after forty days have passed. Many told me to wait for one year, but I said, "What if I am not alive in one year, who will make Gurudev's samadhi then?" So, I started Gurudev's samadhi mandir in forty days after his disappearance. After that, you all know what happened....

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