SRI NABADWIP DHAM MAHATMYA-MUKTA-MALA

Epilogue: My Grief

Today, by the mercy of Sri Gurupadpadma, by the mercy of Gaura-hari, you have successfully, beautifully and without any obstacles completed Sri Nabadwip Dham parikrama. As each year, we have today completed this dham parikrama. You cannot complete this parikrama without the mercy of the guru, of the dham, of the dham-basis, of Vaishnavs, without Dhameswar Mahaprabhu’s mercy, without Nityananda Prabhu’s mercy. Not everyone is able to do a parikrama of the holy abode of the Lord. Always remember this.

Today is the adhivas day (eve) of Gaura’s appearance. It is a very happy, joyful day, but at the same time there is also some sorrow in this day. Why? Because you have done this parikrama together with Vyasadev Goswami, Sukadev Goswami, Brahma, Siva and others – along with all the devotees, with Gaura-hari, Nityananda Prabhu, with Sri Gurupadpadma, with Vaishnavs, with so many demigods – but no one can understand this, and we, too, cannot understand this. How many gods and goddesses come from Svaraga-loka (heaven) to do this parikrama! Brahma comes from Brahma-loka, Siva comes from Siva-loka, Vyasadev Goswami, Sukadev Goswami, and many others – they all come to do this parikrama. They all come to circumambulate the land of the holy pastimes of the Lord(!), but we cannot understand this; we can neither see it with our common eyes nor understand it. However, the saddest thing about it all is that as you are doing this dham parikrama, you are thinking, ‘When am I going back?‘ Many people went to other places in the afternoon, in the middle of the parikrama. Without finishing the parikrama, today, on the third day, they say, ‘I have stayed here for three days, now I should go home.’ Many have left, but it is their misfortune that they had not managed to complete this parikrama…

On this day, Prabhupad Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur always said, ‘After Nabadwip Dham parikrama, after Jagannath Misra’s ananda-mahotsav, many cross the Ganges and again go back to the illusory world!‘

One year, on the day when everybody was leaving, devotees wanted to see Prabhupad before leaving (to offer him obeisances and to say that they were leaving), but at that time Prabhupad was nowhere to be seen. Prabhupad felt very much pain – he sat behind the door, hiding from everyone and crying. Prabhupad often said, ‘You have done this dham parikrama, and I have entered into a relationship with you, but you will forget it!‘

In this world, your connection with your father, mother, brother, sister and others is only a two-day connection, but the connection between the guru and the disciple is eternal – it continues life after life. Those who cannot understand it can neither be a real guru nor a real disciple. You must always remember this. You must understand this relationship; you must know this relationship. It is not possible to understand or see it externally with these common material eyes.

So, that day, everyone started searching, ‘Where has Prabhupad gone?’ They did not find him in his room. In the end, somebody noticed his bathroom door was open – looking into the bathroom, they found him sitting behind the door and crying. They took Prabhupad by the arms and brought him into the room, seating him on a chair. Then, Prabhupad spoke, ‘You did this parikrama for so many days, you have stayed here as members of Krishna’s family, but now you are again going to the illusory world of Maya, you are falling into Maya’s bondage! We sent devotees to go door to door to bring you from this material illusory world and made you members of Krishna’s family, but you are again going back to that material world! You will forget the Lord! You will forget me! You have a relationship with me, but you will forget this relationship!’

Srila Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj also said, ‘People came to do the parikrama, and they are all going back to their homes now, but what can be more painful than the fact that they leave this relationship with Prabhupad?’ You can realise how intimate Prabhupad’s words were – he spoke about the internal, intimate connection. Common people cannot understand this – they do not understand this connection. This is what is called viraha, separation…

When Krishna left Vrindavan and went to Mathura and Dvaraka, Vraja gopis cried so much that they could not see anything – everything merged into one and became blurred. Wherever their glance fell, they only saw Krishna. They embraced trees and cried, ‘He has gone this way! Here are His broken ankle-bells scattered around! Has Prabhu forgotten us? How cruel! Could He not just kill us? Has He left us and gone away? How cruel He is! We love Him so much, we do not know anything except Him, we do not understand anything except Him, but He has left us and gone away!’

When Mahaprabhu took sannyas and went to Puri, He relished this separation (His vipralambha-lila) there. There is more happiness in separation – there is some happiness in union, but there is far more happiness in separation than in union. The pleasure of a union is momentary, but when you feel pleasure in separation, you feel it at every moment, all the time. If you have a genuine relationship with Krishna, if you have a genuine connection with your guru, then you will be able to understand everything.

You must understand this sambandha-jnana (connection and relationship with your guru and the Lord) very well. If you read Ramananda-sambad, you will see that it is an extremely high conception.

When we were at Chapahati, you could notice that we did not sing the ‘Gita Govinda’ kirtan. We spoke about the ‘Dehi pada-pallavam udaram’ sloka, about Jayadev and Padmavati. I have understood it there, but whom will I tell about the separation that Jayadev Goswami expressed? Tell me, who will be able to understand it?

You must not forget this connection; this relationship is not a two-day connection. We take initiation and go away, and after that we cannot think about our guru; but you must realise what have you been able to give to your guru? How much have you been able to love your guru? How much have you been able to do for your guru? You must always think about this.

diksa-kale bhakta kare atma-samarpana
sei-kale krsna tare kare atma-sama

‘Devotees submit their entire being when they take initiation. At this time, Krishna accepts them as His very own.’

Initiation means transcendental knowledge – when you take initiation and surrender, the Lord takes you as His own. You must always think about it – this mood, this feeling must come to you. It is to taste this feeling, to perform this lila that Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu came to this world. If you hear about the separation Srimati Radharani feels, you will understand Her agony of separation.

vamsi varanao mane na, katha ye sone na,
o mara keno mare na
vamsi kono lajja nai, divanisi dake tai,
ami yata dure yai, vamsi bale eso rai,
kena ye samaya bojhe na
dusta vamsi dustami, pritera pagalami,
o mara keno mare na

‘I prohibit it, but the Flute does not care – it does not listen to anything I say. It is a dead thing, why does it not just die? The Flute has no shame! It only keeps on calling Me day and night. No matter how far I go, the Flute keeps calling Me, “Come, Rai, come.” Why does it not understand? It is a dead thing, but why does it not just die? This naughty Flute is full of mischief, it makes Me mad with love. It is a dead thing, but why does it not just die?’

Krishna said, ‘O Subal! Balaram is not here today, I will not go to herd the cows today!’ Balaram also said that day, ‘Krishna is not here today, so I will not go to herd the cows!’

It is necessary to understand this separation; it is necessary to think about separation. Sri Gurupadpadma is the Lord’s very own – do not forget him. We do not practise like Mirabai – it is not our line to sit and only chant, ‘Krishna, Krishna.’

radha-bhajane yadi mati nahi bhela
krsna-bhajana taba akarana gela

‘If you do not worship Srimati Radharani, your worship of Krishna is nothing.’

If we cannot worship Srimati Radharani, our worship of Krishna will not give us anything. Bypassing Nityananda, you cannot get Gaura; bypassing Gurupadpadma, you cannot get Krishna! If you serve the Lord bypassing your guru, you will not get any result. Always think about this.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
Sri Nabadwip Dham parikrama ki jay.
Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math ki jay.

(At the holy evening assembly in Sri Nabadwip Dham: devotees are listening to His Divine Grace's Hari-katha.)

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