The pangs and transformations of love constantly dance within my heart. I quarrel with Gaura every day, and thus I am known as "Angry Jagai".

I went to see Vraja, and while staying at Sanatan's place, I quarrelled with him. When he tied a sannyasi's red cloth on his head and calmly came before me, I decided to beat him with a rice pot.

When I saw Sanatan's humility, I left him alone and shamefully sat to one side. My Gaura knows everything: He sent me to Vrindavan and observed the result from afar.

Good! He can be happy, and I can be sad forever. His happiness will be my happiness. Night and day I cry, feeling separation from Gaura, but Gaura laughs seeing my crying face.

He is a deceitful sannyasi, but I love His Pastimes. His words are full of nectar. The Lord is now feeling the same mood that He felt in Vraja. Although I understand this, sometimes I do not.

I brought some sandalwood oil for Him, but after hearing His stubborn remarks, I smashed the pot of oil. Angrily, I layed on my bed fasting, but He pacified my anger with various pleas.

He had me cook rice, vegetables, and wild spinach. He said, "Your angry cooking is very sweet." He increased my anger and so was pleased. His satisfaction is my desire.

Once, Sanatan asked me for advice, and I told him to go to Vrindavan. The Lord called me a fool for this. Seeing His childish mentality, I was amazed at heart, and I grasped His lotus feet.

I wanted to go to Vrindavan, but I did not receive His permission: He gave me various excuses. When we quarrelled, however, He told me to go to Nabadwip, and I accepted that as His mercy.

He left His home, and on the pretext of His mother's order, He is now in Jagannath Puri. He sends those whom He blesses to His abode, where they can behold Goloka as the cowherd men did.

In this way, I serve Gaura night and day. This is the nature of Gaura's associates. The feet of Gaura and Gadadhar are my wealth. Svarup Damodar understands this mood.