Stick to Your Guns

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Nabadwip Dham, 27 February 2015

Before Gurudev left, he warned me that so many problems would come. He knows everything—what will happen and what will not happen.

I remember, one year, after his Vyasa Puja, Gurudev sent me to Australia with Srila Ashram Maharaj, and when I came back to India, he wanted to see me. I came, and he caught my hand and, almost crying, asked me, "What will you do? Will you run away? I want to know it. I have been waiting for many days, and now I want to hear from you—what will you do? Many problems will come, will you run away?" I said, "No."

Actually, we are in the battlefield, and if some opposition group or enemy is coming towards you, you cannot go back. You must go forward and fire otherwise if you turn back and run away, they will shoot you in your back! That is not what we want to happen. We are in the battlefield, and we must go forward. Krishna knows what will happen—we cannot write our own destiny, Krishna has already written what will be in the future. I do not know what will be in the future, so why think about the future? Why think about the past? You must do what you must do now, and continue your spiritual life in this way.

In Guru Maharaj's time and Gurudev's time also so many problems came... I have so many followers now in the temple, but when I first joined the temple I saw there was only one person in the temple who followed Gurudev, no one else, and Gurudev knew it. Gurudev would sometimes sadly ask me, "Do you know who of my godbrothers is helping me? Tell me. Can you see anybody?" Then he would say, "Only the crops field Keshto is helping me." I was surprised to hear that, "What is Gurudev trying to say?" In this way, Gurudev mentioned many things, he always observed everything, and he also said, "Many problems will come, but you have to tolerate."

Sometimes I think, "How much tolerance can one have?" Last year, I was in jail but I gave class every day, I told them about Gaura Purnima, and so on. Actually, this year fifteen devotees from that jail took initiation from me. One by one, they were released from jail and came here. I think maybe that is why Krishna sent me there. I was not unhappy there, I was never sad, never cried, nothing. They always laughed, I always joked with them and gave lectures there as usual. Gurudev said, "Wherever he goes, he will manage everything," then Gurudev's mercy is with me—even when I go to jail I can manage there happily without any problem. Everybody came to me, paid their obeisance, sat with me, and listened to some katha from me. They did not see me as a prisoner, did not think I was guilty, rather, "Oh, that man came here by some misfortune." I did not have any problem there. Then, we can continue our life properly in this way.

Sometimes we do become very sad, and I can tell for myself that I only become very sad and disturbed when devotees leave their service, leave Krishna consciousness, or when service leaves them. I begin to ask myself, "Why did they leave their service? Why did the service leave them? What did they do, what kind of offence did they make? What is happening?"

One day I told Gurudev, "Gurudev, that brahmachari left the temple..." Gurudev replied, "It is natural. It is very difficult to stay in this place, and it is very easy to go away from here—it is a very high place, and it is not for everybody." I told Gurudev that some devotee was making disturbance and somebody ill-treated him, that is why that brahmachari left, but Gurudev said, "You are looking at the external, but you must find out the internal reason. Can you try and kick one dog out of here? You cannot. Then you must understand that this place is a very special place for your life..."

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