(13/13) Internal Asuddha

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Ganga Sagar, evening class,
Deity Manifestation Anniversary day
12 January 2019, part 13
Translated from Bengali

Even if somebody does something bad to us out of spite or jealousy, we will not do the same to them in return. Gurudev always said, 'If somebody eats good food and wears good clothes, we always feel jealous – we do not feel happy about that.' Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur also said,

আমার জীবন, সদা পাপে রত,
নাহিক পুণ্যের লেশ ।
পরেরে উদ্বেগ, দিয়াছি যে কত,
দিয়াছি জীবেরে ক্লেশ ॥

amara jivana, sada pape rata,
nahika punyera lesa
parere udvega, diyachhi ye kata,
diyachhi jivere klesa

'My life is always engrossed in sin. There is not a trace of piety in it. I have been giving others so much anxiety and pain.'

নিজ সুখ লাগি', পাপে নাহি ডরি',
দয়াহীন স্বার্থপর ।

nija sukha lagi', pape nahi dari',
daya-hina svartha-para

'I am not afraid to engage in sinful activities for the sake of my own happiness. I am merciless and selfish.'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

If we want to do something for our own happiness, we are not afraid to even commit a sin. For example, somebody can say, 'Oh, I am asuddha (impure), so I will not water Tulasi tree today.' Only when something happens to Tulasi, then they will think, 'Oh, I do not want to make a sin,' and come to water it (thinking about themselves). Many people do like that. For example, when somebody dies at the house, they think that because they are asuddha they must not go to the temple (or the prayer room). What kind of idea is that? If you come to a temple, you will actually become pure. What are you worrying about? They think, 'Oh, it will be a sin.'

When we were opening the temple in Tarakeshwar, I invited a woman, who owned a piece of land adjacent to the temple, to come to the programme. I had told her husband before, 'Nobody will buy that land. Can you give it me?' He refused. The man was going to die in a few days (he had cancer), but he still clung to his material desires. Anyhow, when we had a programme at the temple, I personally came to the house of that widow and invited her to come to the temple, but she said, 'I am asuddha, one year has not passed yet.' I told her to still come, and she did come eventually.

These are all superstitions, it is necessary to remove such unfounded superstitions. Everybody has a right to come to the temple. Even Muslims, Christians and Buddhists can come. Nobody should be stopped. Everybody can come and pay obeisance to the Lord, there is no problem with that.

নিজ সুখ লাগি' পাপে নাহি ডরি
দয়াহীন স্বার্থপর ।
পর সুখে দুঃখী সদা মিথ্যাভাষী
পরদুঃখ সুখকর ॥

nija sukha lagi' pape nahi dari
daya-hina svartha-para
para-sukhe duhkhi sada mithya-bhasi
para-duhkha sukha-kara

'I am not afraid to commit sins for my own happiness. I am merciless and selfish. I always lie. I feel unhappy to see others happy, and I feel happy to see others sad.'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

Is that not so? When we see somebody is happy, it makes us sad. Somebody lives comfortably, somebody has got a job in a good place, somebody has become a high school master, but people will say, 'Oh, no, no, he is not a high school master! He is just a tutor!' This is jealousy. Suppose you arrange your daughter's wedding – after a week or two, she will come to visit you, and the neighbours will gloat, 'Oh, her husband must have left her!' Is that so or not? I hear these things from people, this is all gramya-katha... We feel happy when others are unhappy and clap our hands.

পর সুখে দুঃখী সদা মিথ্যাভাষী
পরদুঃখ সুখকর ॥

para-sukhe duhkhi sada mithya-bhasi
para-duhkha sukha-kara

'I always lie. I feel unhappy to see others happy, and I feel happy to see others sad.'

অশেষ কামনা, হৃদি মাঝে মোর,
ক্রোধী দম্ভপরায়ণ ।

asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora,
krodhi, dambha-parayana

'My heart is filled with endless desires. I am angry, arrogant and vain.'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

We have many desires, we want to get something very much, but when we do not get it, we become angry. Is that not so? We must not have such desires.

অশেষ কামনা, হৃদি মাঝে মোর,
ক্রোধী দম্ভপরায়ণ ।
মদমত্ত সদা, বিষয়ে মোহিত,
হিংসা-গর্ব্ব বিভূষণ ॥

asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora,
krodhi, dambha-parayana
mada-matta sada, visaye mohita,
himsa-garva vibhusana

'My heart is filled with endless desires. Angry, arrogant and vain, I am always intoxicated with pride and engrossed in the material world. I am adorned with pride and envy.'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

'Mada' means ego. 'I have a lot of money!', 'I am a landlord!', 'I have so many things!' People say, 'Oh, I have come to your temple to do some service, but what does Maharaj give me? He only tells me to work!' Even disciples say such things. When I hear this, I start thinking, 'What kind of disciple have I made?' You tell somebody nicely, 'Prabhu, please can you take care of this?' they say, 'I cannot! What will Maharaj give me?' This is how they speak... What can I do? I pray to the Lord, 'O Lord, please set their heart right. "What do I get in return?" – may they never think like that.'

নিদ্রালস্য-হত, সুকার্য্যে বিরত,
অকার্য্যে উদ্যোগী আমি ।
প্রতিষ্ঠা লাগিয়া, শাঠ্য আচরণ,
লোভহত সদা কামী ॥৪॥

nidralasya hata, sukarye virata,
akarye udyogi ami
pratistha lagiya, sathya-acharana,
lobha-hata sada kami [4]

'Ruined by laziness and sleep, I am averse to doing anything good and eager to do nothing. I behave crooked desiring prestige. I am ruined by greed and always want something.'

We can do mad things, we can sleep. To display our greatness, we can behave very bad.

এহেন দুর্জ্জন, সজ্জন-বর্জ্জিত,
অপরাধী নিরন্তর ।
শুভকার্য্যশূন্য, সদানর্থমনা,
নানা দুঃখে জর জর ॥৫॥

e hena durjana, sajjana-varjita,
aparadhi nirantara
subha-karya-sunya, sadanartha-manah,
nana-duhkhe jara jara [5]

'Such a bad person as I is shunned by good souls—I am a constant offender. I do not do anything good—instead, I am always filled with inauspiciousness. I am racked by various miseries.'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

That kind of bad mentality keeps us away from great souls. We are always committing offences. These are Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur's words. Guru Maharaj told me to chant this kirtan, but I do not do it openly – I chant it in my heart. What is expressed in this kirtan is very important.

I am leaving tomorrow, I have to go to Kolkata for a programme and also to see my doctor. I have to take care of health... Six months have passed, but I have not got time to go for a checkup. I got a phone call from Apollo Hospital, they asked me when I was going to come, so I made an appointment three months ago. I need to go there to get some blood tests done and to see the doctor after that. I will not be able to do it tomorrow, so I will need to go there the day after tomorrow.

Devotee: Where should we come for Gaura Purnima?

Come wherever I am.

Devotee: Last time, I did not find you.

You must try to find me.

Devotee: I went first to the jal-mandir, but you were not there, so I went to Nrisingha Mandir.

So, you did come last year? Then what is the problem? Come wherever I am. If you know I am not there, you can come to the place where I am staying. I never stopped the parikrama, we still do it every year.

Devotee: I asked some people where you were, but they were irritated and said they did not know.

You can call me a few days before the parikrama and ask me where you should come, what is the problem? They do not know where I am, yes, what they say is right – they do not know where I went.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.

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Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Clean Your Heart and Cultivate Devotion
2) Seva-Dharma and Mano-Dharma
3) Strive for Spiritual Subsistence
4) Where There Is a Will There Is a Way
5) Excreting Visaya
6) Live in Domain of Mercy
7) The Side-Tracked and the Drowning
8) Servants' Wealth
9) Live Thinking about Lord
10) Turtle Consciousness
11) Learn and Practise
12) Sadhu's Duty
13) Internal Asuddha