Perfect House Life

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Chira-dahi danda-mahotsav in Sripat Panihati Dham
Kolkata-Worldwide, 4 June 2020, part 3

Sri Upadesh 3, Guidance 3 describes grihastha life, how one should create and maintain their grihastha life. It is necessary to understand it.

You can stay in householder life, you can stay in your house, but that house must be always a place for practising Krishna consciousness. I see that even those who live in our temples may not be following properly, they do not come to the mangal-arati, etc. because they become lazy, but I have seen so many householder devotees who follow everything very nicely. Alone or with a family, they live in a house, they make mangal-arati, sing, then cook and offer the bhog, etc.; whereas I have seen in the temple that many sannyasis do not come to the mangal-arati (they sleep), they do not come to the evening arati (they sleep again), etc.

I have told many times what the husband's attitude to his wife should be like. Once, a devotee came to Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj and said that he had got married. Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj said, "No problem. You will work and do the shopping, and your wife will cook and offer the bhog. After that, your wife will take that prasadam first and you will take her remnants." Then you will understand that your wife is not for your enjoyment. Your wife is a servitor of the Lord, and you are her servant. Do not think, "I work, I give money, etc." Also, you must not have sex. Do you understand? A husband and a wife stay together and they can have sex only to beget a child, nothing else. Sex is only for getting a baby.

Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur and Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj told so many things about it. One time also, when Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj came to Nabadwip from Vrindavan, he used to stay in some public bathroom. Somebody asked him, "Prabhu, you are staying in this bathroom, are you not getting the bad smell?" Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj replied, "I can tolerate this bad smell, but what I cannot tolerate is the pocha-grihasthas (পচা-গৃহস্থ, rotten householders), or the griha-medhis (householders engrossed in the affairs of the household)—those who are engrossed in the attachment to their family."

"Aram haram haya (আরাম হারাম হ্যায়)—easy life is sinful." People create a comfortable life for themselves, enjoy with their family, grandchildren, enjoy with everything. Moreover, I have seen so many foreign devotees who actually get married at seventy-eighty years. They are going to die tomorrow, but today they get married, and not only that—they marry young fifteen-twenty-year-old girls who are fit to be their granddaughters. These are not proper grihasthas; such people are griha-medhi, they have too much attachment to their family.

You can live in a house, but you will always think about Krishna, think about the temple, think about Gurudev.

যে দিন গৃহে ভজন দেখি ।
গৃহেতে গোলোক ভায় ॥

ye dina grhe bhajana dekhi
grhete goloka bhaya

"On the days when I see devotional service taking place in my home, I feel that Goloka has manifested there."

(Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

If you worship the Deities every day, your wife cooks for the Deities every day, you offer bhog every day, you chant every day, you do kirtan every day—then it is not a house, it is Goloka Vrindavan. This is Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur's words. However, if your house is only for enjoyment, then it is a house, then you are a griha-medhi.

I am telling very strong things, somebody may not like it, perhaps. I know many do not like me because I speak directly.

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