"Inconceivable, Unbelievable, and Unimaginable"

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Divine Appearance Day, Sri Vyasa Puja
Kolkata—Worldwide, 17 October 2020, part 1

Everybody is giving their love and affection and all together making this day for me... Actually, I am getting shy to make my birthday festival, but devotees are always enthusiastic to make this festival, even in this pandemic situation. Last week I declared, "I know you will not listen, so you can make guru-puja, but do not make any festival on this day," but in many places devotees have still arranged large festivals, they have still gathered so many people. Devotees' enthusiasm, devotees' love and affection to me is inconceivable—it is unbelievable, unimaginable, astonishing, and surprising for me. I have no quality to deserve it.

Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur says, "Tumi ta' thakura, tomara kukura (তুমি ত' ঠাকুর, তোমার কুকুর)." These words are very perfect—"You are my worshippable Deity, and I am always your dog." I have always, since the very beginning of my life in the temple, been trying to serve my guru as a dog—I always did what I was told to do; and I never thought that I would become an acharya, that I would become a guru or the next successor. I never thought like this, but such is Gurudev's mercy and desire. I cannot reject his word, I cannot reject his order, that is why I had to take this position.

All the devotees all over the world have so much love and affection for Gurudev, and this love and affection is now coming to me; almost all of the devotees who serve me are not my disciples, but they are all my well-wishers and my godbrothers and godsisters, and even those who are senior to me also give me the respect and the position of a guru in their heart—that is what I find astonishing.

Almost all of you know where I was born. I was not born in a highest family—it is a lower caste family. I was born in a village where people live simple life. No cars go to that village—all people there are used to going everywhere on foot. Sometimes, people get there by boat also. Now I heard they have made some mud road and some vehicles can come through (some places a little far from the village have now established some communication, so people can go there), etc., but before that not even bicycles would go there—people did not even know how to ride a bicycle. This is the kind of village I was born in. There was actually no tradition in my family to celebrate birthdays. When a baby is born, they make Shashthi (name giving ceremony) six days later and give a name to the girl or boy who was born, and after that they never do any ceremony or any celebration on their birthday.

I understood what is the position of the Guru only when I joined Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math. I came to Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math as a young boy almost thirty years ago. At that time, Gurudev gave me the name Vinod Ranjan Brahmachari. All of the Gurudev's godbrothers and sannyasi friends from Mayapur would say about me, "Oh, another Bhaktivinod has come!" because Vinod is Bhaktivinod Thakur's name. I would get shy to hear this. Sripad Parivrajak Maharaj (from Mayapur), Sripad Praphulla Maharaj would always say this in the big-big meetings, but I would always get shy because where am I and where is Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur! This is like comparing hell and heaven, it is impossible to compare me to Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur. He is the seventh goswami and I am a fallen soul like a dog! But they say like this about me, and that is also at big-big public programmes...

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