Deep Service Mood

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Nrisingha Palli, 27 December 2020, part 2

When Gurudev left Nabadwip in 2009, he was very said. He said, "Anugatya (devotion, or strict adherence, to the Guru) has already left this world. There is no anugatya left in Gaudiya line... I do not want to stay here any longer. I want to leave Nabadwip as soon as possible." What is 'anugatya' in English? [A devotee suggests: "chastity."] Chastity is a very high thing—you can say 'anugatya' is sincerity.

These are the things Gurudev shared with me...

Now so many disciples get pranami (donation) and keep it in their pocket, but when I went abroad, I gave whatever pranami I got (so many devotees would give pranami, etc.) to Gurudev—I never kept a single coin or a single dollar. When I came back, I would first go straight to Gurudev, give him everything I had in my pocket and bag, and then only went to my room. Later, when I needed money for construction, temple management or to pay some bills, I would come to Gurudev, tell him and he would give me money. Otherwise, how would I make all the construction works and all the other services that Gurudev wanted? That is what guru-seva is.

Chatak bird always thinks, "When will it rain? When will a cloud come?" It always waits for drops of rain, and we too should have this mood (this hankering for service). "When will Gurudev give me service?" When Gurudev gives service, that is his mercy. When service comes, we must be always efficient—we must not let Gurudev down, we must not fail in our service.

Gurudev always tested me. One time, when I was doing Govinda Kunda and the guesthouse building on its bank (not the big five-storey building, the other one), Gurudev told me, "I want to start the construction tomorrow after eight in the morning." I explained to Gurudev, "But I cannot build there anything yet because it is necessary to get the permission from the government first. If we do not get the permission, it is not possible to build anything there." Anyhow, I heard Gurudev wanted to start the works the next day, so the next day, early in the morning, I went to the house of the local government authority. He was asleep, and I spoke to a boy there who always treated me like his teacher (he always showed respect to me). He was, perhaps, thirty years old at that time. I spoke to him and asked how much money was necessary to get that permission. He said two thousand would be sufficient. I gave him that money, and he got the plan signed. It was not even a proper government plan—somebody at the temple made it, showed it to Gurudev, printed from their computer, and I got that plan signed. When I came back to Gurudev, Gurudev was very surprised, "How is it possible? You told me last night that it was not possible to do anything without permission, and now you bring this with the signature and rubber stamp! How is it possible?" I only said, "Everything is possible by the mercy of Gurudev." Without mercy, nothing can be possible.

Another time, we were building the two-storey prasadam hall in Nabadwip. Gurudev knew that the land where it was built was in Srila Sridhar Maharaj's name. Gurudev did not change the proprietor's name for that part of land. So, when Gurudev came to Nabadwip and saw the construction—at that time, the construction was not completed, but the works were going on at the second floor already—he asked me, "How can you be making construction here? Have you got permission to build here? You cannot build without the government's permission—they will break the building!" I told Gurudev, "Gurudev, the plan has already been sanctioned." Gurudev said, "What? The plan is sanctioned? Show me the plan!" I brought the plan of the prasadam hall building and showed it to Gurudev. Gurudev laughed when he saw it. Other devotees (Srutasrava Prabhu, et. al.) were there too, and somebody asked Gurudev, "How is it possible? This land is in Srila Sridhar Maharaj's name, so how can the plan be sanctioned?" Not only that, there was a signature of Srila Sridhar Maharaj on the plan (and Srila Sridhar Maharaj had already left his body at that time)! Then, Gurudev laughed and said, "Well, maybe Srila Sridhar Maharaj came here from Goloka Vrindavan and put his signature, I do not see any other way how it is possible that the plan is sanctioned!" Gurudev joked in this way. You see, local people do not know who is Srila Sridhar Maharaj, who is Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj—they only want a signature and they do not check who put the signature (whether the person is alive or not).

So, sometimes there are so many things that are necessary to do service. I did everything to please Gurudev—anyhow, by hook or by crook, I wanted to please Gurudev, to make him happy. I never want to disturb him—on the contrary, I always give him relief. This is the kind of relationship I have with Gurudev. I was telling devotees about it yesterday.

Now so many disciples come and they become proud, but:

কৃপা কর বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর ।
সম্বন্ধ জানিয়া ভজিতে ভজিতে
অভিমান হউ দূর ॥

krpa kara vaisnava thakura
sambandha janiya bhajite bhajite
abhimana hau dura

"O Vaishnav Thakur! Please be merciful! Knowing the true relationship I will worship You and my ego will go far away."

It is necessary to understand the relationship (sambandha). What is the real relationship? "I am always a servant of servants of Gurudev or Vaishnavs." It is necessary to have this sambandha. "Gurudev is my master, all the Vaishnavs are my masters, and I am their servant." You must realise this relationship yourself, then you will be able to give honour to others, otherwise you will not be able to. It is very important to be able to give honour to others—giving honour to others is one of the main things in our life!

So, how has it all been possible for me? You know, when I finally got sick and had to leave Nabadwip, the doctor said, "Considering the kind of disease you have got, you will not survive. The fact that you are alive is astonishing and very rare because when diabetic patients get such neurological problems, 99% people die." You see how much problem they created for me? It is actually mercy of Gurudev that I am still here, talking with you all. All the devotees helped me, all the devotees are with me—I am alive because of all the devotees' and Gurudev's mercy. Their love and affection keeps me alive, otherwise how could it be possible? I was almost dead, I could not even sit on a bed. Doctors had to give me thirty-two huge injections of saline, and now they say, "The fact that you are still alive and can even walk without a stick or anyone's help is incredible!"

Now many people tell me, "Maharaj, come back to Nabadwip (jal-mandir)." I told them, "I am very happy here. I have no disturbance, no problems, no headache here." They have made and are making so much aparadh (offence) to Gurudev, and now they are suffering very much because of that. They are now divided into two groups, and one of the groups tell me, "Come to Nabadwip!" I can come, OK, but what for? All devotees are here, and I am always with them—this is my great happiness. When this happiness comes to me, it is good for me because I can work the whole day like before, I can go to the market, I can go everywhere, do everything. By the mercy of Gurudev, I am still able to do everything at this age without any problem.

So, what I want to say is that it is necessary to have service mood, and to have service mood you must have love and affection and always engage in sravanam, kirtanam, smaranam, archanam, pada-sevanam, vandanam, dasyam, sakhyam, atma-nivedanam (hearing, chanting, remembering, worshipping, serving lotus feet, offering prayers, engaging in service as a servitor, as a friend, and self-submission).

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