Meaning of Discipleship

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Ekachakra Dham, 23 February 2021, part 5
Translated from Bengali

নিজে শ্রেষ্ঠ জানি' উচ্ছিষ্টাদি দানে
হবে অভিমান-ভার ।
তাই শিষ্য তব থাকিয়া সর্ব্বদা
না লইব পূজা কা'র ॥

nije srestha jani' uchchhistadi dane
habe abhimana-bhara
tai sisya tava thakiya sarvada
na laiba puja ka'ra

"If I, loving myself more than anyone else, bestow my remnants, etc. on others, then I will become filled with ego. Therefore, I will always remain Your disciple, I will not take worship from anyone."

There are many gurus in this world. There are gramya-gurus, sahajiya-gurus, they are also called "kula-gurus" (ancestral gurus) What do they do? They put a lot of food on their plate and then, not being able to eat it all, they tell everyone to eat it up after them. This is how ego comes. If you think you are great and give everyone your remnants, you will be loaded with the burden of ego. "I am the greatest, and everyone is lower." This breeds ego. That is why, our sampradaya does not teach to behave like that. You must take as much as you can eat—be satisfied with whatever is placed on your plate; do not take more than that. If you take more than you can eat, it means you will leave your remnants for others—this is how your ego will grow. Do not do this. We never behave like this in our line; this is what others do. You have probably heard that Srila Jagannath Das Babaji Maharaj even ate his banana leaf plate once. He had already eaten full stomach, but after that the host still forced him to take more and put more and more on his plate thinking that Babaji Maharaj would leave something on the plate and they would get his prasadam, but Srila Jagannath Das Babaji Maharaj understood it and ate everything, along with the banana leaf plate! And he was so old at that time (over 130 years old).

You know, it is ekadasi today, and yesterday I drank some milk. I never drink milk, doctors prohibited it, but yesterday I felt very hungry and took some milk with biscuits. After I that, I could not sleep the whole day; today also I could not sleep, and I am feeling unwell now, but I still had to come downstairs for the class. I made my healthy body sick. I thought it was ekadasi today and I would be fasting, so I decided to take some milk with biscuits. As a result, I had so much acid and gas in the stomach that I could not sleep, I could not even take any medicine. I used to eat everything, but after the operation (I had a stone in my gall bladder) sixteen years ago I started to control what I eat. Now I do not eat anything—I can take just aloo-siddho and rice (and some tok dal, perhaps); that is enough for me. I do not need anything else. I do not need any vegetables, spicy subjis, etc.

So, it says here, "Tai sisya tava thakiya sarvada (তাই শিষ্য তব থাকিয়া সর্ব্বদা). I will always remain your disciple." Guru Maharaj also said that if you want to become a guru, you must first become a disciple. If you have not become a disciple, how will you then become a guru? Tell me. First you must become a disciple, then only can you become a guru. What is the meaning of being a disciple? A disciple is a person who always follows the disciplining of their Guru (who can tolerate their Guru's chastisement and can change their life according to their Guru's disciplining). You must have heard how Nityananda Prabhu kicked Sivananda Sen. These days, if you speak to somebody harshly, they will say, "I do not need a guru like you! There are many other gurus like you in this world!" And Nityananda Prabhu kicked Sivananda Sen! How did that happen? Nityananda was very hungry and He was kept waiting, and when Sivananda Sen finally came, he paid obeisance to Nityananda Prabhu and said, "Prabhu, it is all my fault! Please forgive me." How did Nityananda Prabhu forgive him? He kicked his head! That was His forgiveness. When this happened, Sivananda Sen got up and started dancing! He thought, "I have been serving the Lord, and today I have got the result of that service!" And these days if you beat anyone, they will beat you back. Such are the disciples these days. It is impossible to say anything to the disciples. If you get angry and by mistake say something, they start chastising you. They cannot tolerate it. There are only one-two people who can tolerate. My Gurudev also chastised me, also beat me. Srila Sridhar Maharaj also beat Gurudev—when Gurudev did something wrong and Srila Sridhar Maharaj beat him, Gurudev did not run away; instead, he only came closer to Srila Guru Maharaj. Srila Guru Maharaj asked him, "What is this? I am beating you, but you are not running away?" Gurudev answered, "You do not know how to beat, that is why I am coming closer so that you can beat better." Such was the relationship between them. Gurudev chastised me too, and I did not mind it—I did wrong and I got chastised justly. When I was making the four-storey building in the Nabadwip temple, I borrowed half a lakh rupees, that is why Gurudev chastised me. I was chastised rightly—I had borrowed money, that is why Gurudev was unhappy and told me to get out. Half an hour later, Gurudev again called me to his room and gave that money to pay off the debt. I never ran away—Gurudev told me to go away, but I always came again. When Gurudev asked me why, I said, "You told me to go away, but you did not say that I could not come again." Gurudev said, "Oh, I see you have learnt well!" Gurudev told me to go away, and I went away, but he did not prohibit me to come again, so I came again. Such was my relationship with Gurudev. And now, if you tell one word to the disciple, they get angry. They live as they please. Srila Prabhupad said, "Satisfying the whims of your mind is not Krishna consciousness. Krishna consciousness is following the Guru, the Vaishnavs, serving the Guru, the Vaishnavs, and satisfying them." We think that we sing a song and this is it, we have practised Krishna consciousness. No. Krishna consciousness means following what your Gurudev says and serving your Guru and Vaishnavs; it means to please them.

"Tai sisya tava thakiya sarvada na laiba puja ka'ra (তাই শিষ্য তব থাকিয়া সর্ব্বদা না লইব পূজা কা'র). I will always remain Your disciple, I will not take worship from anyone." There are many gurus who will tell you, "Do an arati for me every day! You must offer flowers at my feet every day!" You cannot do this with me. I do not need any arati, I do not need any worship from you. I am your servant, why will you worship me? Such should be our mood.

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