When the Family Is Against
His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
...A devotee is asking what to do. The father of a devotee does not allow them to come and is always against Krishna consciousness.
There is a very nice example, then you can understand it. Raghunath Das Goswami always wanted to go to serve Mahaprabhu, always wanted to go to Krishna consciousness, but his father would always stop him—he would bring him back and lock the door. Some devotees have only one-two 'security men'—their father and mother; but Raghunath Das Goswami's father was a very rich person and he engaged eleven security men for his only son.
Raghunath Das Goswami again and again went to Mahaprabhu, but Mahaprabhu told him, "Go back!"
অন্তরে নিষ্ঠা কর, বাহ্যে লোক-ব্যবহার ।
antare nistha kara, bahye loka-vyavahara
"Be fixed internally, and behave like everyone else externally. Krishna will rescue you soon."
Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya-lila, 16.239
"It is not necessary to show your external devotion so much," He said.
There was also one devotee who grew a beard because he has a problem with his father. You can show your father you are not involved in devotional activities, and inside you can continue. It is not necessary to show anything externally, you can do it internally.
This is why a strong relation is necessary—Das Goswami is an example of that—then no one can stop you.
Mahaprabhu told him in the end, "Go back to your home. Do not show markata vairagya, monkey renunciation."
You have desire for the Lord internally—it is not necessary to show anything to your father. If you show your chanting beads to your father and he becomes crazy, then do not show your father the chanting beads. Be sincere and follow the rules and regulations within (antare nistha), but show your parents that you are not a devotee, or not a devotee any more, then your father will be very happy. He will again send you to Delhi to study, and from Delhi you can from time to time come to Vrindavan to see the Deity. Finished. That is the answer; that is the policy. কৃষ্ণ যে ভজে সেই বড় চতুর, Krsna ye bhaje sei bada chatur: "those who worship Krishna are very clever."
I have told many times how I came here. My father was searching everywhere, going from place to place. A year later he thought, "My son had some attachment to Bhagavad-gita, maybe he went to a temple." He had searched all Mayapur and then came here. One day—I was making the roof of a building here—I saw from the roof my mother was coming. I immediately came downstairs and told the security, "There is a lady coming. She will probably ask about this person (I told him my previous name). Tell that lady he is not here." Do you see how cruel I had to be? At that time I was a new boy, one year old boy, and I did not have so much foundation in Krishna consciousness, spiritual consciousness. They could have easily converted me and taken me away to the illusory environment. That is why I had to be cruel and do that. This is how it happened.
Somebody may think, "Oh, that boy is very bad. He told his mother he was not here." But it is no problem for me. Somebody can say this or that, it is not a spiritual matter why I shall accept this. What I had to accept, I did that.
Once I asked Gurudev (it was after I took sannyas, in 2002 or 2001), "Gurudev, I have to go to my previous place, the father's house. There is some land in my name, I must sell it, and the money will come to the temple." Gurudev asked, "How much money will you get?" I said I could get a certain amount of money, and Gurudev said,
"OK, I will give that money to you. You do not have to go there."
"I do not want any money, but if for the temple somebody can take the land, why not?"
"It is not necessary to go. I will lose you because of some money. Money is not necessary, I will give you the money."
So, it is not necessary to show anything. You can pretend and say, "O mother, I will never go there again, I will not leave you. I will make family life, and I will serve you. I will do everything." And you can say, "How will I serve you if I do not study? Please, allow to me to go to Delhi to study." And from there you can go to Vrindavan sometimes. In this way. It is devotional activities. You are telling a lie, but a lie for what? For service. Then there is no problem. If for the service to the Lord you do something wrong, it is not a problem. Who do you do it for? For the Lord. For Gurudev. Then it is allowed to do that. It is not my words, it is said in the sastra, scriptures. And the scriptures also show it—many devotees do something wrong for the service to the Lord. They can do anything for the service to the Lord, to Krishna. That is the main siddhanta.
Raghunath Das Goswami also asked, "How can I come? If I become involved in family life, how will I come? How can I cut the bondage of the illusory environment?" Mahaprabhu said to him, "That is not your business. That is My business.
সে ছল সেকালে কৃষ্ণ স্ফুরাবে তোমারে ।
se chhala se-kale krsna sphurabe tomare
"Krishna will reveal to you how you can come. Who can stop the one who has got mercy of Krishna?"
Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya-lila, 16.241
"Krishna will give you some intelligence and you will understand how you can come, how you can again join Krishna consciousness, how you can come to Me. That is not your business. Leave this to Me. No one can tie or lock one if they have got mercy from the Lord, from Gurudev, from Mahaprabhu. They will come. Sure. But they must have desire to come: it will depend upon that person's desire—no one can stop those who have a strong desire, strongest faith. The scriptures say this easily.
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