Ego and Faith Do Not Coexist

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Speaking online to the devotees in Delhi
16 October 2011, part 3

I am trying to go for Govardhan Puja. If it is the will of the Lord, then Govardhan, Giraraj will bring me... I will try—my mind is always there, I want to go this time to Giriraj Govardhan—there is always some obstacle coming, but I know that in a few days it will be finished... Krishna is testing to see how much tolerance I have, and through that I am getting so much tolerance. If they did not disturb me, how would my tolerance increase then? Also, more patience is coming, and that is necessary...

Question: How did your Vyasa Puja festival go?

That day, on my birthday, the programme started in the morning and continued next day—there was a programme at 10 o'clock at night, at 3 and 4 o'clock in the morning because in some country it was day, in some country it is night. Today also there is a programme at 11 o'clock at night, and this morning there was a programme at 4 o'clock, at 5 o'clock.

Question: We wanted to ask if we could make a programme for Srila Sridhar Maharaj's appearance day?

Yes, you can, no problem. If Srila Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj had not come, how would we have got our Guru? Because he came in this world, we could get our Guru from him. We can do a programme on this way because Srila Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj is our founder acharya, he is the main leader of Srila Rupa Goswami's line. Prabhupad Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur left him to preach and hold the flag of Sri Sri Rupa-Raghunath. He is our main line, we must understand it and we must follow his instruction, we must follow his line. If we follow this line, it will be good for us. We must believe it, we must have faith in it.

When Srila Sridhar Maharaj made our Gurudev the acharya, many could not respect his decision and they went to another line. Even many of his godbrothers said that Srila Sridhar Maharaj had made a wrong decision, but later they understood that Srila Sridhar Maharaj could not make a wrong decision.

It is necessary to have faith, to believe. Gurudev told me that faith is another question—if you see some rope and Gurudev says, "No, it is not rope, it is a snake," you must believe it. That is called faith. It is very difficult to keep the strongest faith.

Mahaprabhu said (Cc, 2.22.64), "Sraddha-anusari bhakti-adhikari (শ্রদ্ধা-অনুসারী ভক্তি-অধিকারী)." You will get as much devotion as much faith you have. If you can surrender 75%, you will get 75%, if you can surrender fully, 100%, you will get 100%. Krishna Himself said, "If you can come one step to Me, I will come ten steps to you." It is necessary to believe it. He also says, "If you think about Me, I will think about you." If, however, we think about ourselves, then Krishna says, "You are already fulfilled, why will I come to help you?" Do you understand? This is ego.

Some girl is very beautiful, and she thinks, "Oh, I am very beautiful!" Somebody is very qualified and they think, "Oh, I am a very qualified doctor!" Somebody is a good engineer and they think, "I am a very big engineer!" Somebody is a good lecturer and they think, "Oh, I am a very good speaker!" Somebody's tune is very good, and they think, "Oh, I am a great singer!" This kind of ego can come.

You are asking Gurudev for mercy but if you think that you are already full of mercy, then you cannot take his mercy, you will not be able to keep it. Do you understand my point? This is called ego, and it is a big problem in our spiritual life. Everybody wants to be a master, we do not want to be a servant, that is the problem. We do not want to learn, always we want to teach. We always want to give lecture, we do not want to listen, that is our problem. If you go to some religious festival or some programme, everybody wants to speak at the festival, and if you do not give them a chance to speak, they become angry. Even when sannyasis come for a Vaishnav festival, some can get angry if you do not give them a chance to speak...

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