Atma-Buddhi

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Ekachakra Dham, late morning class
5 February 2020, part 7

The problem is ego.

কবে শ্রীচৈতন্য মোরে করিবেন দয়া ।
কবে আমি পাইব বৈষ্ণব-পদছায়া ॥

kabe sri chaitanya more karibena daya
kabe ami paiba vaisnava-pada-chhaya

"When will Sri Chaitanya be merciful to me? When will I reach the shade of the Vaishnavs' feet?"

কবে আমি ছাড়িব এ বিষয়াভিমান ।
কবে বিষ্ণুজনে আমি করিব সম্মান ॥

kabe ami chhadiba e visayabhimana
kabe visnu-jane ami kariba sammana

"When will I give up this mundane ego? When will I honour the Lord's devotees?"

Always chant this. Chant, chant, chant, always think about it. Everybody has ego, I also say that I have ego.

গলবস্ত্র কৃতাঞ্জলি বৈষ্ণব নিকটে ।
দন্তে তৃণ করি দাঁড়াইব নিষ্কপটে ॥

gala-vastra krtanjali vaisnava-nikate
dante trna kari' dandaiba niskapate

"With a cloth around my neck, joined palms, and straw between my teeth, I will sincerely submit myself at the Vaishnav's feet."

If we pay obeisance to Vaishnavs, if we give respect to Vaishnavs, then ego will go away. Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur says that among one thousand Vaishnavs you will get one Krishna's devotee. We do not consider ourselves a Vaishnav, what to speak of a devotee of Krishna. We are even farther away from being Krishna's devotee. You may get one devotee of Krishna out of one thousand Vaishnavs.

কবে আমি ছাড়িব এ বিষয়াভিমান ।
কবে বিষ্ণুজনে আমি করিব সম্মান ॥

kabe ami chhadiba e visayabhimana
kabe visnu-jane ami kariba sammana

"When will I give up this mundane ego? When will I honour the Lord's devotees?"

If you have fifty kilogrammes of rice on your head, you feel so much pain, so much pressure—even if you come into an A/C room, you will not get any comfort there because you have heavy things on your head. We still have ego, we still cannot even understand what we are—we cannot even understand that we are eternal servants of the Lord. We still think I am a man, I am a woman, I am Indian, I am Russian, I am English—we still do not understand this, then how will we get the relationship with the Lord? Your body has no relation with the Lord. Only your real self (atma, soul) has relation with the Lord—only atma knows what is necessary and what is not necessary for the Lord, what is essential for the Lord, etc. Only atma knows it. But we still cannot think, "I am not this body, I am the soul." We cannot understand it—such intelligence, such buddhi has not come to us. That is why we think, "I am Russian," "I am Brazilian," "I am English," "I am American," "I am Colombian."

Srimad Bhagavatam and so many scriptures say,

নাহং বিপ্রো ন চ নরপতির্নাপি বৈশ্যো ন শূদ্রো
নাহং বর্ণী ন চ গৃহপতির্নো বনস্থো যতির্বা ।
কিন্তু প্রোদ্যন্নিখিলপরমানন্দপূর্ণামৃতাব্ধে-
র্গোপীভর্ত্তুঃ পদকমলয়োর্দাসদাসানুদাসঃ ॥

naham vipro na cha nara-patir napi vaisyo na sudro
naham varni na cha grha-patir no vanastho yatir va
kintu prodyan-nikhila-paramananda-purnamrtabdher
gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanudasah

"I am not a brahman, I am not a ksatriya, I am not a vaisya or a sudra. Nor am I a brahmachari, a householder, a vanaprastha or a sannyasi. I identify Myself only as the servant of the servant of the servant of the lotus feet of Lord Sri Krishna, the maintainer of the gopis. He is like an ocean of nectar, and He is the cause of universal transcendental bliss. He is always existing with brilliance."

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya-lila, 13.80; Padyavali)

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