(8) Exclusive Self-Realisation

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Preaching programme in Kinkarbati
Translated into English from Bengali
26 February 2020, part 8

If we think about the Lord, if we spend the whole day on the Lord, if we cook for the Lord every day, work (go to the office, run a business or do agriculture) for the Lord every day, if our whole life is for the Lord – when all our mind, body, soul and ego are for the Lord – then we will be able to understand how much illusion we were in, how much we were engrossed in material things; we will slowly become released from all this bondage. We must always remember this. I will tell you one very nice story in this relation. You will see in what kind of dangerous position one must serve the Lord. We often do not wish to have any problems or difficulties, but we must put up with all troubles and strifes. Gurudev and Krishna have kept us here as guardians – we are only keepers of Krishna's property. 'Our' house is the property of Krishna, and we are only its guardians. It is necessary to have this kind of mood.

...I am printing the Achran Kan book, you must read it. You must perform nija-dhyan. I have told you about it before. You keep all the things of Lord clean, everything is clean, but is your mind clean? You must be conscious of this. Is that so or not? To cleanse your mind, you must perform nija-dhyan. The mantra for that is called buddhi-suddhi.

দিব্যশ্রীহরিমন্দিরাঢ্যতিলকং কণ্ঠং সুমালান্বিতং
বক্ষঃ শ্রীহরিনামবর্ণসুভগং শ্রীখণ্ডলিপ্তং পুনঃ ।
পূতং সূক্ষ্মনবাম্বরং বিমলতাং নিত্যং বহন্তীং তনুং
ধ্যায়েচ্ছ্রীগুরুপাদপদ্মনিকটে সেবোৎসুকাঞ্চাত্মনঃ ॥

divyam sri-hari-mandiradhya-tilakam kantham sumalanvitam vaksah
sri-hari-nama-varna-subhagam sri-khanda-liptam punah
putam suksma-navambaram vimalatam nityam vahantim tanum dhyayech
s chhri-guru-pada-padma-nikate sevotsukan chatmanah

'Meditate that the Lord’s Temple (your body) is decorated with shining tilak, your neck bears a beautiful tulasi-mala, your chest is adorned with the Names of Sri Hari and sandalwood paste, you are wearing fine, new, clean cloth, and in your pure, eternal form, you are at the lotus feet of Sri Guru, eager for service.'

There is a Bengali saying, 'Bend the bamboo while it is green—if you try to bend it when it matures, it will crack' (কাঁচায় না নোয়ালে বাঁশ, পাকলে করে ঠাস ঠাস; equivalent to the English proverb 'strike the iron while it is hot'). When somebody knows too much and think they have understood everything, then it is a problem because this is how ego comes. 'I do not know anything', 'I do not understand anything', 'I have no intelligence', 'I have no knowledge' – this must be our mood. You can give everything to the Lord on a golden place, but if the cooking is not good – for example, you forget to put salt – the Lord will not accept it...

Anyhow, I started talking about service mood. I have told you this example before. Do you remember it? It is about Ramanuja Acharya's disciple called Dhanur Das, who lived together with his wife. (Guru Maharaj and Gurudev also told a story about a woman who loved her husband so much that she even served a prostitute for the sake of her husband.) Dhanur Das and his wife were very poor, so they would go out to beg: Dhanur Das went to one village, and his wife would go to another one. I wrote in Guidance, Volume 4, that it is prohibited for householder people to beg. If somebody does collection for Gurudev, it is all right, but to collect money for yourself, to maintain your own life is very bad. It is said completely straightforward. Gaudiya Vaishnavs say that householder devotees must not beg.

বৈরাগী হঞা যেবা করে পরাপেক্ষা ।
কার্য্যসিদ্ধি নহে, কৃষ্ণ করেন উপেক্ষা ॥

vairagi hana yeba kare parapeksa
karya-siddhi nahe, krsna karena upeksa

'A renounced person should not depend on others. If he does so, he will be unsuccessful and neglected by Krishna.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 3.6.224)

Krishna rejects those who depend on others. You can often see that people put on tilaks and chant kirtans, going village to village and collecting. They do this to maintain their families. Even if you tell them to come and stay at the temple and promise them some monthly payment for their family, they still do not want to stay at the temple because they know that if you stay at the temple, you have to follow the rules (wake up in the morning for mangal-arati, do service and so on) – you cannot live as you like. It is like a stray cow and a tied up cow. If you set a cow free, it will roam anywhere it likes, but a cow that is tied with a rope cannot go everywhere. So, you tell people, 'Come and stay at the temple. Do you need money? Do you have expenses? I will give you food and money, just come and serve at the temple.' Do you know why they still do not come? Because they are attached to their independence (svatantra-buddhi). But it is a very big offence to chant the Holy Name to procure money.

বৈরাগী হঞা যেবা করে পরাপেক্ষা ।
কার্য্যসিদ্ধি নহে, কৃষ্ণ করেন উপেক্ষা ॥

vairagi hana yeba kare parapeksa
karya-siddhi nahe, krsna karena upeksa

'A renounced person should not depend on others. If he does so, he will be unsuccessful and neglected by Krishna.'

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 3.6.224)

Mahaprabhu also told Srivas Pandit not to go begging...

[His Divine Grace is distracted by a lady coming to put some fruit at the altar.] Didi, keep the fruit over there. Do not keep it in front of the altar, keep it outside. What is the use giving the fruit like this? When you give fruit to the Lord, you must cut it, you cannot give whole fruit like that. In South India, they offer whole fruit, without cutting or peeling it. But the Lord will not eat fruit uncut – you must cut and offer fruit, then it will be service. The Lord will not take uncut fruit.

Anyhow, I will tell you the story of Dhanur Das now. Please listen carefully. Dhanur Das and his wife went to collect for their Deities' service and for Vaishnav-seva. Dhanur Das told his wife, 'If we go separately to different villages, we will collect more, and when Vaishnavs comes to our house, we can serve them.' They did so. But his wife was young, and one bad man became attracted to her.

It is said in the scriptures that association with women (stri-sanga) must be completely rejected. What is association with women? Being attached and attracted to your own wife is stri-sanga. If you look at some woman with lusty thoughts, it is also stri-sanga. Touching a woman is also stri-sanga. If you speak to a woman privately (when there are no other men or women around), it is also stri-sanga. Such association must be completely rejected. I wrote about this in Guidance, Volume 4. Even thinking about a woman is also stri-sanga.

So, every time that bad man saw Dhanur Das's wife, he would tell her, 'When will you come to my house? Why do you need to beg in this scorching sun?' Dhanur Das's wife was very annoyed by the man. The man would follow her, nagging, 'Come to my house, I will give you much fruit, money. You will not have to beg anymore. Come to my house.' She would brush him off, 'All right, all right. When I have time, I will come.' Then the man would be satisfied and leave her alone.

One day, Dhanur Das's wife told her husband, 'I will not go begging today, I have a lot of housework and need to do the laundry.' So, she began doing laundry, and Dhanur Das went for collection alone. Suddenly, she heard somebody knocking on the door (they did not have a good house – there was some tin sheet or some woven bamboo door). At first, she was washing the clothes and did not hear the noise, but when she stopped, she heard somebody forcefully knocking on the door. She thought, 'My God! I am alone at home. I did not go begging today, so that bad man must have come here. But if I do not open the door, he will break it and get in! O Gurudev! Please protect me.' She prayed in this way, but exclusive devotees actually never pray to the Lord for protection.

তোমার সেবায় দুঃখ হয় যত,
সেও ত' পরম সুখ ।

tomara sevaya, duhkha haya yata,
seo ta' parama sukha

"No matter how much unhappiness comes when I try to serve You, even all unhappiness is a source of great happiness for me."

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

We say this, but when we face some problem, we cry, 'Prabhu! I do not want to suffer, please do not make me suffer anymore! I want to live a happy life!' We always want our sons, daughters to live a good life, we do not want any unhappiness or difficulties. But Prahlad Maharaj never asked the Lord for this. His father tortured him so much (he threw him into a river, tied him to an elephant's leg, threw him into fire and so on), but Prahlad Maharaj never said, 'Father, please do not kill me' or 'O Lord, please protect me!' This is what devotees are like. They never do anything for themselves. When death came to Ambharish Maharaj, he also said, 'All right, if the Lord wishes it, let it be so. Whatever happens happens by the will of the Lord.' He never felt afraid. But we can say this, we can give lectures about it, we can explain it to others, but how much can we practise this in our own life? I am asking myself this question. At the same time, it does not mean that we must not speak about such exclusive devotion; no, rather, if we keep speaking and speaking about it, then one day we will be able to practise this in our own lives – one day, this mood will come to us too. If you think, 'I will not speak about it since I cannot practise it,' this is wrong because you must hear about it too – if you do not speak about it, how will you hear about it? Mahaprabhu heard Hari-katha from Ramananda Ray's mouth, but Ramananda Ray said, 'Sri Chaitanya is speaking through my mouth.' So, even Mahaprabhu would listen to His own words. We also listen to our own words. I am trying to realise these things for myself.

তোমার সেবায় দুঃখ হয় যত,
সেও ত' পরম সুখ ।

tomara sevaya, duhkha haya yata,
seo ta' parama sukha

"No matter how much unhappiness comes when I try to serve You, even all unhappiness is a source of great happiness for me."

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

We say this with our mouths. We also say:

ন ধনং ন জনং ন সুন্দরীং কবিতাং বা জগদীশ কাময়ে ।
মম জন্মনি জন্মনীশ্বরে ভবতাদ্ভক্তিরহৈতুকী ত্বয়ি ॥

na dhanam na janam na sundarim kavitam va jagadisa kamaye
mama janmani janmanisvare bhavatad bhaktir ahaituki tvayi

"I do not want wealth, I do not want followers, I do not want beautiful women, I do not want to be a poet. I only want causeless devotion to Your lotus feet. Give me that kind of devotion to Your lotus feet so that I could do Your service life after life."

(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, 3.20.29)

I do not want any women, wealth, poetry, but a few moments later we think, 'If there is no money, how is it possible to arrange such a big parikrama?' It is necessary to realise these things within your own mind.

So, remembering her Gurudev, Dhanur Das's wife opened the door. When she opened the door, she saw that Ramanuja Acharya, her Gurudev, was standing there!

'Gurudev! Please come and take a seat, come, come,' she said quickly. She did not have a proper chair or seat, but she had some broken stool, so she put some cloth on it and gave it to Gurudev. She brought some drinking water for her Gurudev. Then she realised, 'I do not have anything at home except water!' They did not keep anything – they would cook whatever they collected, offer bhoga to the Deities and give it to whoever came that day. They did not have anything at home – no rice, no fruit. So, she thought, 'Gurudev has come, but what can I give him?' Then, she told her Gurudev, 'Please sit here, I am coming just now.' As she ran out of the house to get some bhoga, she remembered that bad man who had been running behind her, 'He told me to come to his house, let me go there!' Just look at this! She understood the danger of going there, but she did not recoil. Devotees want difficulties, they embrace danger! She did not shrink away – she ran to the house of that man.

'Why are you out of breath?' asked the man, alarmed, seeing her at his house.

'My Gurudev has come, my Gurudev has come!' she said, panting. 'You told me to come to you house and you will give me something.'

'Wait, come and sit down,' the man told her.

'I have no time to sit!' she said quickly. 'I left Gurudev waiting in the house. You told me that when I came, you would give me rice, dal, vegetables and fruit. Please give it quickly!'

'All right, all right. Hold on,' said the man and arranged for two sacks with bhoga for her.

Seeing the two sacks, Dhanur Das's wife said, 'I cannot carry two sacks myself. Come with me.' The man agreed, and they went to Dhanur Das's house together. When they came, she told him, 'I am going to cut some fruit for Gurudev, you please go and sit with him.' Giving some fruit to Ramanuja Acharya, she asked him, 'Gurudev, I am going to cook something, please speak some Hari-katha in the meantime. My husband will come just now.' Dhanur Das came soon and sat there too, together with the bad man. When Gurudev comes, he does not sit idle – he comes and speaks Hari-katha. I have seen some sahajiya gurus (there were especially many aul, baul, kartabaja and other sahajiyas before Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur) – they come, stretch their legs to have them washed and sit proudly, 'I am Gurudev, so I will sit here like that.' Genuine gurus are not like that. They come and speak about the Lord. So, when that bad man heard Ramanuja Acharya's Hari-katha, his heart melted. He asked Ramanuja Acharya, 'Prabhu, can I receive some mercy? Can you give me initiation?' Ramanuja Acharya agreed, 'Yes, of course, I will give you initiation.' That man took initiation, and whatever bad intentions and lusty desires he had in his mind were removed, and he started calling the woman who he had at first been attracted to 'Sister' [Didi] – he no longer had any lusty attraction to her.

We too must take shelter of this kind of bona fide guru so that as we listen and listen to Hari-katha from him, all our dirt will be removed.

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READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Become Good Listener
2) Eternal Engagement
3) Serve Intently
4) Worse Than Death
5) Increase Your Devotion
6) Real Substance of Devotion
7) Shameful
8) Exclusive Self-Realisation
9) Keep Your Focus Straight