"My Pride, My Joy, and My Hope"

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Nrisingha Palli, 1 January 2021, part 4

...Krishna Sundari Didi (Australia) made a special sweet rice for this festival, and all the sadhus said, "We have never tasted this kind of sweet rice in our Gaudiya Math!" I told them, "Gurudev himself has come and cooked it!" Sudevi Didi also made fried rice (with capsicum, beans, etc.) and chilli paneer, it was also special for them. They made very nice preparations. (Fried rice is not puspanna, it is a dish called veg pulao.) They also made beguni fried in ghee, kochu sak, etc. I did not let them use any potato this festival, so today at noon there was no potato cooked, and everybody was happy. Everything was cooked very nicely.

I observed how they served prasadam to all the Vaishnavs, and I saw that all groups of devotees did it very nicely. Madhumangal Prabhu came with thirteen young boys from Jharkhand, and they helped so much. I am very happy with them. They are very helpful. Actually, I have got this group, and I am always worry-free—I have no headache, I do not have to think about distributing prasadam and cleaning the pots. They serve prasadam to all the Vaishnavs very nicely. There was also another group of devotees downstairs, many ladies also helped to distribute prasadam to everybody.

Actually, when we were in Nabadwip, so many outsiders and non-devotees (not initiated people) used to come, but I am very happy that here all the initiated people come. I am very glad and happy about it. Even when I speak Hari-katha, if the audience's mood goes another way, if the audience does not like Hari-katha, then some disturbance comes, people become absent-minded, etc. But this year all the devotees came, and there was no problem. In Nabadwip, many outsiders would come and start fighting for prasadam, but it was not like that here. There was no fighting, no crowds—they served prasadam in two-three places, and people came one by one and took prasadam happily. It was very nice.

[Somebody asks about coronavirus.] What corona? You are sitting in your room, then you are thinking too much about corona, but if you come outside, there is no corona. You must remove Coronasur from your head, from your brain. You know, all the political parties gather huge meetings—they dance and drink whiskey in parks. They have no rules and regulations, but if some sadhu is making a programme, then they come up with rules and regulations! What is the problem? I was ready to face them today if they had come to disturb us.

I am always moving—I always go one place, another place, here, there. I do not stay in one place. Sometimes, I stay four-five days in one place, sometimes three days, sometimes two days. I always go door to door and knock at everyone's doors—if somebody kicks me out, if somebody tells me not to come, I will go to their house ten time more. This is my situation.

Devotee: Like Nityananda Prabhu!

Not Nityananda Prabhu. Nityananda is Nityananda! I cannot think myself even as His foot dust. If I could get His foot dust, it is such a great thing! On the one hand, we are actually unfortunate because our mind is always very fickle, very unsteady—we always think about bad things. If we cannot think good about everybody, then Krishna will not think good about us. Even though we always think bad about others, the Guru and Vaishnavs are very merciful—they give us "amanda-daya kripa." 'Manda' means 'bad' and 'amanda' means 'good.' They always give us pure mercy. So, on the other hand, it is my fortune that Gurudev has kept me at his lotus feet. That is my only hope (ei mora chitte bharasa), that is the main thing in my life. Still, Srila Prabhupad say, "Prana achhe yara, sei hetu prachara (প্রাণ আছে যার সেই হেতু প্রচার): you have life, you are alive, then you must preach." I do not know how many days I will be alive, but I want to preach until my death—I want to approach everyone, I want to go everywhere, I do not want to stop my preaching.

I do not want to take more of your time, I only want to say two-three words more in conclusion. Gurudev is always very proud of you. He always said very happily: "By the mercy of Srila Guru Maharaj (Srila Sridhar Maharaj) I have got so many good souls as my friends and companions. It is unbelievable that Srila Guru Maharaj has kept all charge for the foreign devotees in my hand. I do not know English, I do not know their culture, but Srila Sridhar Maharaj gave all charge to me. In this way, I have got so many devotees like Srila Janardan Maharaj, Srila Ashram Maharaj, Sripad Yudhamanyu Prabhu, Sripad Srutasrava Prabhu (Sripad Vaishnav Maharaj later), Srila Avadhut Maharaj, Srila Trivikram Maharaj in Brazil, and so many other foreign devotees. So, I do not worry how Chaitanya Saraswat Math will run—when Srila Guru Maharaj has given me such good souls, Chaitanya Saraswat Math will run automatically, and the preaching will continue in the future." In this way, Srila Gurudev is very proud of you all. He also said, "I am a village boy, I have no qualities, I did not even go to school, but my Guru Maharaj gave me this position, and when I have got such good souls as you all, who come to me and serve me as their Guru, I must say I am a very fortunate soul." Srila Gurudev always said this.

So, I feel very happy today. I do not want to take more of your time today. We can discuss Srila Gurudev's festival, as well as Srila Prabhupad's glroification and Gurudev's glorification, another time, during our online Sunday programme, it will be good for everybody. Please forgive my offence. I have told you that I am a beggar, but I do not come to beg for money, I only beg you for one thing—please give me your mercy so that I can serve my Gurudev and his mission like this until my death. This is all I am begging you all for.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay
Jay Srila Bhakti Pavan Janardan Maharaj ki jay
Jay Srila Bhakti Kusum Ashram Maharaj ki jay
Jay Om Vishnupad Jagad-Guru Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj's holy appearance day festival maha-mahotsav ki jay
Harinam sankirtan ki jay

Some of our Bengali godbrothers do not follow Gurudev properly. When Gurudev became sick and left Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, when he was in Dum Dum Park, he was very sad. One day, he called me. I came and sat there beside his bed, and he was lying down—at that time, Gurudev told me, "Maharaj, you are bringing so many people from villages, and I have initiated them, but can you tell me how many of them have become disciples?" I am thinking also that Indian devotees only think, "Hari bol! Hari bol!—they only say, "Hari bol! Hari bol! Doyal Nitai! and dance, but it is the foreign devotees who can show us how many per cent of those who have taken initiation have actually become disciples because foreign devotees never betrayed me, they follow Gurudev's word 100%, and I am very proud of you all—I am very happy that Gurudev has given such 'fruits' in my hand, and I can happily 'take' them.

My dandavat to everyone. Please forgive my offence.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay
Nitai Gaura premanande Hari bol

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