(8/8) Nurturing Gurudev's Mission

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Disappearance festival of Srila Govinda Maharaj
Siliguri, 24 April 2021, part 8
Translated from Bengali

You cannot become a disciple just by taking a mantra from a guru. It is necessary to have and show your love, affection for your guru, to take him as your own…

You can see a lady sitting here. She is an old lady, she must be over seventy years old, but she gives whatever pension she gets to the Math. Even now when we came to Siliguri, she gave money for Gurudev’s festival. When there was lockdown, she also gave money every month to help the Mission. She also collects outside – she phones some devotees abroad and collects in this way for the temple. They are serving Gurudev heart and soul. You can see how beautifully they have dressed the Deities here (we have brought this dress, crowns and other paraphernalia from Vrindavan). There is a small boy also who saves money from his tiffin box money (pocket money for buying some food at school) – he saves little by little and says, ‘I will buy something for my gurudev with this money.’ The other day he sent me some money and asked the devotees, ‘Buy Gurudev a watch, buy him a gold one!’ I told them that I would not wear a gold watch. (Actually, I do not wear a watch so much, only when I go out I use it to see the time from time to time because the time in mobile phones can sometimes be wrong.) But can you imagine it? A little boy saves money for his guru from his pocket money. Their love comes from their hearts.

When I was in Vrindavan, I thought of going to Siliguri, so I bought the clothes, crowns and a peacock fan for the Deities, and also some clothes for Gurudev. This is what is called ‘I will never think about my own maintenance, I will always remain in the shelter of loving attachment to You (nijera posana kabhu na bhaviba rahiba bhavera bhare)’ (Saranagati). We must not think about ourselves. If you care for and think about your guru and Vaishnavs, then your guru and Vaishnavs will care for and think about you…

I called Sripad Niriha Maharaj and Sripad Vishnu Maharaj and told them to wake up early in the morning yesterday, go temple to temple in Mayapur, invite all the Vaishnavs to the temple and give prasadam to everyone today. I told Tarok Prabhu to cook nicely today – some chilli paneer, vegetable pulao, paneer rasa, patoler rasa, sukta, sak, chutney. I have called a sweet shop and placed an order for a curd cake (chhana cake), and I have told devotees to serve it to everybody…

The construction of the Prasadam Hall in Nrisingha Palli is now complete; only the marble is left to put. The new Prasadam Hall will accommodate up to five hundred people. We have made a very big Prasadam Hall behind the temple. Everything is Gurudev’s mercy. I did not have a single rupee – I left the temple in Nabadwip empty-handed, but so many branches have appeared since then. I go for preaching and gradually everything comes. There is a temple completed in Uluberia also, and I will install the Deities there after Nrisingha-chaturdasi. All the painting works are now completed, and only the marble must be polished. One devotee gave ten- or eleven-katha land (0.16–0.18 acres; 670–735 sq.m.), and I have made a temple there. Gurudev gives his mercy, then it is all possible. I do not do any business, I do not smuggle anything – if the Lord gives, if devotees give something, then I spend it. Devotees have given some money for this festival, but it was more than necessary, so I will spend the rest of it on other things. I was thinking yesterday where to use that money, and I thought that the flooring here, in Siliguri, has become bad (every time I bring plastic flooring here, it gets torn fast), so I decided to level and marble or tile the floor in the nat-mandir. Gurudev arranges everything. A new four-storey guesthouse building is now also almost complete in Nrisingha Palli – there are seventy-six rooms there, and if ten people stay in each room, it can easily accommodate seven hundred and sixty people, and there is a bathroom in every room. So, the accommodation is not a problem now. By Gurudev’s mercy, everything is arranged. When they gave the land in Uluberia, I thought that I could sometimes go there during the hot season and bath in the Ganges sometimes. They will keep a room for me, and I can go and stay there sometimes. Gurudev has arranged everything, and I have no problem – I did not have to sell any cows, fish or trees to manage. The main thing is gurudev’s mercy. If you have gurudev’s mercy, you have everything. Those who have no mercy have nothing. Empty vessels make the most noise, so it is necessary not to just dress as a sadhu – it is necessary to actually become a sadhu.

Gurudev left this world and kept this fallen soul here. I gave my word to Gurudev, ‘Whatever difficulty, whatever pain or obstacle comes, I will not leave you.’ That is why I have never left you. I am still looking after Gurudev’s devotees and temples. I did not leave Nabadwip out of my own accord. Devotees said that those people would kill me and begged me to leave, so I agreed. Now they are calling me to come back, but as long as there is all this fighting, as long as those people have not left, I will not go there. Gurudev kept this fallen soul here and left this world, and if the Lord always keeps me engaged in the service of Gurudev and his devotees, that is sufficient for me. Vaishnavs are the Lord’s very own: they come on the order of the Lord, and they leave on the order of the Lord…

You know, when I saw Gurudev for the last time, I could not understand it at that time. Two days before that, Gurudev called me and said, ‘Come to Kolkata immediately.’ I went to Kolkata, spent there a night, and the next day I was supposed to go to Midnapore for preaching (on the dvadasi day) – I thought I would take paran early in the morning and then go. The next day after I came to Kolkata, I took prasad in the afternoon and came to see Gurudev again. Gurudev asked me, ‘Have you taken prasad?’ I said, ‘Yes, I have.’ Then I told Gurudev, ‘I am leaving now, I have to go back to Nabadwip.’ Gurudev said, ‘Nabadwip? Will you not take me with you?’ I said, ‘Gurudev, you are not well now. You will come later.’ Then Gurudev said to me, ‘Oh, but you will come tomorrow…’ I did not know that this was my last meeting with Gurudev… I could have never in my life imagined it. I left Kolkata, reached Nabadwip in the evening, took some rest and in the morning woke up quickly to get ready to leave. Suddenly my phone rang and they told me to come to Kolkata immediately because Gurudev’s health was bad. They did not tell me that Gurudev had left, they just told me to come. I took the driver and told him to start out as soon as possible. When I came to Kolkata, then I saw what had happened… After that, we called an A/C ambulance and brought Gurudev to Nabadwip. In the ambulance, there was only I and Gurudev’s two servitors from Brazil, Deva Bandhu Prabhu and Nanda Priya Didi. On the way, we stopped at a petrol pump – we sat in the car and waited, in this state… After we had arrived in Nabadwip, I called television, radio and sent the news to different temples. Because Gurudev left me as the acharya, I had to bath Gurudev and apply tilaks on his body. Then, Gurudev was placed in the pit – he had told me before where his body should be kept (he had chosen a place near Param Guru Maharaj). Everybody told me that I had to go down into the pit because I was the acharya, and I had to write the brahma-gayatri mantra on his chest. I did not even know whether I was dead or alive, but they forced me to go down and write the gayatri mantra. Gurudev left his body at 4:20 in the morning, but by the time this happened it was already evening (by that time, the devotees came from Delhi and Singapore – as soon as they got the news, they took a plane and came to Nabadwip), but his body was just as it was, very soft and beautiful. Then, they started covering the samadhi with soil, and when the soil was up to Gurudev’s head I said that I could not stay there anymore and somebody took me out, away from there, and made me sit afar. Then everything finished, they offered bhoga to the Deities and Gurudev. A Tulasi tree was placed on top of the samadhi. I had asked somebody to buy sheets of corrugated iron, and Santosh Prabhu, who was the manager at that time, brought the iron. We made a fence around the samadhi and some thatched roof on top. Forty days later, I started building the samadhi-mandir…

Now Gurudev will never call me again – nobody will call me at two o’clock at night, nobody will call me and say, ‘I am coming from Kolkata’, ‘I am in Krishnanagar’, ‘I am coming.’ I still keep Gurudev’s phone number in my phone in his memory…

You must know that Gurudev loved Siliguri, and he wanted to come here, but because of one person he changed his mind in the end. He said, ‘If somebody takes initiation from me and then sells my house – if somebody becomes my disciple and then betrays me – I will not go to Siliguri.’ He was very pained by that, and he did not come because of that, but he gave me permission to make the domes, and he saw the photographs of the domes. He said the domes looked very nice. But because he was hurt very much, he did not want to come here in the end. Gurudev said, ‘How can I go there if the person has given me so much pain?’ That is why he never came to Siliguri, but initially he thought he would come and stay here after Gaura Purnima, during the hot season, because it is a little cooler here. Gurudev could not take heat, so if he had come here, he would have got some relief during the hot season. In his last days, he could not stay in Kolkata or Nabadwip without the A/C on. The current in Nabadwip always goes out, and we often have to run the generator, which makes much noise. Here, you can live comfortably without an A/C because it is not so hot. That is why he liked this place very much, but finally he said, ‘I will not go.’

Anyhow, Gurudev has told me so many things, there are so many memories… Here you can see the Deities that Gurudev himself chose and liked; here is also Gurudev’s Deity installed. You are fortunate that you can serve Gurudev here every day: somebody makes garlands, somebody washes the dishes, somebody cleans the temple, and so on. It is your fortune to have this service. Gurudev is present here eternally, and you are engaged in his eternal service. Never leave this service. Always continue your service. If you cannot come, help the temple with one–two rupees. Those who have no money can come and do some service physically; those who have no money can serve with their hearts and minds. Try to serve the Lord and Gurudev with whatever capacity you have.

My greatest happiness is if you serve the Deities, serve Gurudev here. So many obstacles and difficulties will come – they will criticise you, they will say bad things about you if you come to the temple (especially when young girls come to the temple, people start saying all kinds of nonsense), but you must tolerate everything. You know, there are now two new girls in our temple in Nrisingha Palli. One is unmarried, and the other one has had the marriage ceremony, but because of the problems in the house of her husband, she left and came to the temple. Both have passed B.A. The unmarried girl used to work very hard at home – she sewed and earned about fifteen thousand rupees a month. She gave it up and came to me. They are both very strong and strict girls – no brahmachari will be able to disturb them. Despite their young age, they are both serving now in Nrisingha Palli. I have placed them in charge of the temple (‘in charge’ means they look after the storeroom, kitchen, make sure everyone takes prasadam, etc.). The temple there is very big, and they look after everything. They are serving very nicely. I had arranged for a husband for the girl who is unmarried, the boy is my disciple, so it would be a good marriage, but she did not want to get married. I told her that she was grown up (she is twenty-four), that she was not below eighteen, so it was ultimately her decision. Her parents could not persuade her to agree, and I did not force her either. She said to me, ‘Gurudev, will you kick me out? Will you throw me into fire? If you want to make a marriage fire and throw me into that fire, then, all right, I agree.’ What was I to say? I told her, ‘OK, leave it. I will not ask you again.’ Her father called me and complained, ‘She is not listening to me, please speak to her! She must get married!’ I told him that I could not tell her anything – if I said anything to her, she would start arguing again. I would rather not speak to her about marriage again. If she wants to serve, let her serve. And she follows the rules. These girls tell everyone, ‘If anyone does not wake up for the mangal-arati, they will not get anything to eat!’ Now everyone is afraid, so they come for the mangal-arati and sit for the kirtans. Before they did not – only the pujari came to do the arati, and everybody else slept. Now they have set the rule, and everybody comes.

Anyhow, so much has been said today. I am finishing here now.

Jay Srila Guru Maharaj ki jay.
Harinama-sankirtan ki jay.
Nitai Gaura premanande Hari bol.

— : • : —

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Length: 67 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Gurudev's Disappearance
2) "Everything Plunged Into Darkness"
3) Service Alertness
4) Service Milestones
5) Service Challenges
6) Gurudev's Insight
7) Gurudev's Loving Affection
8) Nurturing Gurudev's Mission