(11) When? And How?

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sriman Nityananda Prabhu's appearance day
Sri Ekachakra Dham, evening class
17 February 2019, part 11

We must submit ourselves at the holy lotus feet of Sriman Nityananda Prabhu and take shelter in Him...

So many problems, so many difficulties have come, but I have not flinched from my promise. When I returned from Australia, Gurudev took my hand and made me promise that no matter what happened, I would not run away. There was a lot of trouble at the temple at that time, so Gurudev left Nabadwip with tears in his eyes. I have seen tears in Gurudev's eyes only two times. When he was going for a critical operation in 2004, he did not cry or worry. At that time, I called Gurudev and he told me that he had written a paper saying that I had to run the temple if anything happened to him. Fortunately, the operation went well and Gurudev recovered. But Gurudev left soon after that, in 2010. Before he left, he took my hand and said, 'A lot of problems will come, will you flee leaving the temple and the devotees?' I never ran away. I am still with you all, and you are all still with me. If I can leave my body in kirtan, chanting with you all and doing my service, that is my great fortune. I do not want anything else.

Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur sang,

ধন জন আর কবিতা সুন্দরী
বলিব না চাহি দেহ-সুখকরী ।
জন্মে জন্মে দাও ওহে গৌরহরি
অহৈতুকী ভক্তি চরণে তোমার ॥

dhana jana ara, kavita-sundari,
baliba na chahi deha-sukha-kari
janme janme dao, ohe gaurahari!
ahaituki bhakti charane tomara

'When will I say that I do not want any wealth, followers, poetic gift or any other bodily happiness? O Gaura Hari! Birth after birth, please give me unconditional devotion to Your holy feet!'

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

Guru Maharaj also said, 'People use the phrase "angula phule kala-gachha (আঙুল ফুলে কলাগাছ) – a banana tree has sprung up from a finger (from nowhere) [a way to refer to somebody who has risen to sudden, unexpected success]." And in my case, a whole banyan tree has sprung up from nowhere.'

[His Divine Grace notices the pujari coming back with the offered bhoga.] Oh, has Nityananda Prabhu eaten already? Have fifteen minutes passed? It is necessary to give some time for the Lord to eat. How long does it take you to eat? In the same way, you should let the Lord eat, too. You cannot go there, show the bhoga and take it back immediately. It is necessary to serve keeping regular timings. What servitors do in Jagannath Puri or what those who serve following raga-marga do is another matter – that is a high conception; they can show the bhoga to the Deity and that is it – the offering is done, so they take the offering away. They can take a handful of food and show it to the Deity, 'Here, take!' and Krishna takes it. Those who follow raga-marga and residents of Vraja can do like that. They can say, 'Brother, here, take it!' and Krishna takes it. They are avadhuts, beyond rules and regulations. Nityananda Prabhu is also like that. Such devotees take the Lord as their son, friend, etc. There are different relations with the Lord: santa-rasa (neutrality), dasya-rasa (serving the Lord as a servant), sakhya-rasa (serving the Lord as a friend), vatsalya-rasa (serving the Lord as a parent), madhura-rasa (serving the Lord as a beloved). Sriman Mahaprabhu spoke about all these mood with Sri Ramananda Ray.

We spoke about their conversation when we went to the bank of the Godavari in Kovvur. It is a very beautiful place. The South Indian devotees did a lot of service and did it very nicely. Although they are very poor, they do so much service. They serve with their innermost hearts and souls. They made programmes at different houses every day, making very beautiful decorations and arrangements. You can see the photographs at the website. They did very nice service.

There is a girl from Nepal also, Nanda Priya Didi. She learned how to cook Bengali style from Sudevi Didi and when I went to Nepal and had difficulty eating local food, she cooked for me together with Kamalendu Prabhu.

[His Divine Grace then remarks with a very pained heart.] Everybody is doing some service. My only pain is that only I could not do any service. If I cannot do any service, then how will I get Lord Govinda's mercy? Without Lord Govinda's mercy, without gurudev's mercy, without Gaura-hari's mercy, what can I ever hope to attain then? Gaura-hari always thought about Krishna – He was deeply distressed in separation from Lord Krishna, immersing Himself into the pastime of Krishna leaving for Mathura. He would wail, 'When will I be able to see Krishna?!' Becoming as if mad, He would show Srimati Radharani's mood of deep separation. This kind of mood must come to us, too. This is the highest devotion. 'When will I be able to see Mathura-Krishna? When will I be able to hear from Him? When will I be able to see His face?! When will I be able to serve His dear and near? When will I be able to become cent-per-cent devoted to His gopis? When will He give me the right to serve Him?' This is what we must always think about...

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