Internal Purity

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Sri Vyasa Puja of Srila B.S. Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj
Sri Nrisingha Palli, evening class
1 January 2021, part 8, translated from Bengali

কৃপা কর বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর ।
সম্বন্ধ জানিয়া ভজিতে ভজিতে
অভিমান হউ দূর ॥

krpa kara vaisnava thakura
sambandha janiya bhajite bhajite
abhimana hau dura

"O Vaishnav Thakur! Please be merciful! Knowing the true relationship I will worship You and my ego will go far away."

'আমি ত বৈষ্ণব' এ বুদ্ধি হইলে
অমানী না হ'ব আমি ।
প্রতিষ্ঠাশা আসি' হৃদয় দূষিবে
হইব নিরয়গামী ॥

'ami ta vaisnava' e buddhi haile
amani na ha'ba ami
pratisthasa asi' hrdaya dusibe
haiba nirayagami

"If I think, 'I am a Vaishnav,' then I will never stop expecting honour from others (I will never become void of the desire for honour)—my heart will become polluted by the desire for fame and I will end up in hell."

You must listen carefully and remember this.

গৃহী হউক ত্যাগী হউক ভক্তে ভেদ নাই ।

ভেদ কৈলে কুম্ভীপাক নরকেতে যাই ॥

grhi ha-uka tyagi ha-uka bhakte bheda nai
bheda kaile kumbhipaka narakete yai

"There is no difference between devotees—be they householders or renunciants. If someone makes distinctions between them, they go to the hell of boiling oil (kumbhipaka)."

(Sri Sri Prema-vivarta, 17.22)

Many say proudly, "I am a brahmachari, and you are a grihastha!" "There is no difference between devotees—be they householders or renunciants. If someone makes distinctions between them, they go to the hell of boiling oil." In Srila Prabhupad Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur's time, there were about twelve great sannyasis in the mission, and the Mission Secretary was Sri Kunja Babu (he took sannyas later, and his name became Srila Bhakti Vilas Tirtha Maharaj). Although Sri Kunja Babu was a grihastha, everybody, all sannyasis, offered their full, prostrate obeisance to him: sannyasis offered full sastanga dandavats to a grihastha devotee. Such was Srila Prabhupad's order that everyone must offer obeisance to Sri Kunja Babu. Why did he order everyone to do so?

Moreover, you may have two-three children, not more than that, but Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur had eleven(!) children, and he would always say, "Emana durmati samsara bhitare padiya achhinu ami: O Lord! I have fallen into this vile world!" He wrote so many beautiful books and poems. Although he was a householder with eleven children, everybody would come to him from Nabadwip, all the babajis, and everyone would pay their obeisances to him. Why did they pay their obeisances to him? Because he was a genuine Vaishnav. That is why everyone paid obeisances to him, and everybody aspired for his mercy. You must remember this.

If you are jealous of somebody or hate others, then nobody will love you—if you cannot love anybody, then nobody will love you. If you do not believe or respect anyone, then nobody will believe or respect you. On the other hand, if you treat others with respect, then you will get respect from others. If you trust others, others will trust you. If I do not want good for anybody, the Lord will not want good for me, and if I want benefit for everyone, then the Lord will want me to get benefit as well. If I am jealous towards everyone, the Lord will be very angry with me. You must remember this. That is why it is said: "If I think, 'I am a Vaishnav,' then I will never stop expecting honour from others (I will never become void of the desire for honour)." If I become like this, then desire for fame and name (pratistha) will come to my mind, and my heart will become polluted; as the result, I will clear the road to hell for myself and come to live in hell. When pratistha comes, I become heavy and end up in hell.

তোমার কিঙ্কর আপনে জানিব
'গুরু'-অভিমান ত্যজি' ।
তোমার উচ্ছিষ্ট পদজলরেণু
সদা নিষ্কপটে ভজি ॥

tomara kinkara apane janiba
'guru'-abhimana tyaji'
tomara uchchhista pada-jala-renu
sada niskapate bhaji

"I will consider myself Your servant and give up the ego of a guru. I will always earnestly worship Your remnants, Your foot dust, the water that has washed Your feet."

I will consider myself your servant (kinkar, das). I will not have any ego that I am a guru (that I can teach others). Even if you take initiation from me and become my disciples, it does not mean that I will give you mercy—on the contrary, it means you are giving me your mercy. When you come to take initiation from me, you actually come to give me your mercy. A Guru must always think in this way. When somebody came to offer their obeisance to Srila Prabhupad, Srila Prabhupad would say, "Daso 'smi. I am your servant." He would pay obeisance to his disciples. I do not give obeisances to my disciples because they will be disturbed, "Oh no, I have committed such a big offence, my Guru is offering me obeisance!" but I always think in my mind, "I am your servant." It is said in the kirtan we are singing, "I will consider myself Your servant and give up the ego of a guru." When you consider yourself a servant, then your ego will go away. "I will always earnestly worship Your remnants, Your foot dust, the water that has washed Your feet." I will take the remnants of Your food, I will live on Your mercy (prasad). It is necessary to practise Krishna consciousness constantly (sada) and earnestly, sincerely (niskapate).

নিজে শ্রেষ্ঠ জানি' উচ্ছিষ্টাদি দানে
হবে অভিমান-ভার ।
তাই শিষ্য তব থাকিয়া সর্ব্বদা
না লইব পূজা কা'র ॥

nije srestha jani' uchchhistadi dane
habe abhimana-bhara
tai sisya tava thakiya sarvada
na laiba puja ka'ra

"If I, loving myself more than anyone else, bestow my remnants, etc. on others, then I will become filled with ego. Therefore, I will always remain Your disciple, I will not take worship from anyone."

Have you not seen it? There are many Gurus who will say, "Give my prasad to everyone!" They forcefully give their prasad to others. I have told you about Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj—he once ate prasad along with the plate! The old lady who had invited him to her house thought, "How can I not get his prasad?" So, she started forcefully putting more prasad on Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj's plate. Babaji Maharaj understood what she was doing, so he ate all the prasad she had put for him again, and along with that, he also ate the banana leaf plate! [Some devotees laugh quietly.] This is not a joke—it is the truth! He ate the banana leaf plate. This is what Babaji Maharaj did, but some go about saying, "Oh, give my prasad to everyone." They become proud that everyone is taking their prasad. This is ego. Do you understand? You can see Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj's picture in the guru-parampara photographs (the second from the right). When we do Sri Nabadwip Dham parikrama, we go to his bhajan kutir and speak about this pastime. I have also written about it in Sri Nabadwip Dham Mahatmya-Mukta-Mala. One time, somebody gave Srila Gaura Kishor Das Babaji Maharaj some money, but after that, having walked three miles, he turned and went back to return that money. He said to the man who had given it, "I cannot tolerate the burden of this money. I keep thinking what I will do with this money, what I will buy. It gives me a headache, and I cannot chant the Holy Name! Please take it back." This is how he served the Lord...

We always want to be disciples (sisya tava thakiya sarvada), we do not want to take worship from anyone (na laiba puja ka'ra). Why do we not allow anyone to touch our feet? You serve the Lord with this hand, you cut the Lord's vegetables, then why will you touch the feet of such a fallen soul as myself with this hand? That is why I prohibit to touch my feet. Sometimes, I am talking to somebody and do not pay attention to who is coming, so somebody can come, touch my feet, and go away, but I do not like anyone to touch my feet. Mahaprabhu also did not allow anyone to touch His feet—when somebody did it secretly, Mahaprabhu told Sarvabhauma Bhattacharya to kick that person out, although Mahaprabhu was internally pleased with that devotee's ingenuity.

That devotee came to clean the Gundicha Temple with everyone. He thought, "How can I get some water from devotees feet?" When Mahaprabhu climbed some place to sweep and clean it, that devotee came to Mahaprabhu's feet and poured a pot of water on them—the water started flowing down, and he put his hands there and started drinking it. When Mahaprabhu saw that, he told Svarup Damodar, "Hey, look at your Gaudiya [Bengali]! What is he doing?! I am washing the temple, and He is pouring water on My feet and drinking it?! What kind of person is he?!" That devotee was very clever! "Ye jana Krsna bhaje sei bada chatur (যে জন কৃষ্ণ ভজে সেই বড় চতুর): those who worship Krishna are very clever." Although Mahaprabhu kicked that devotee out, He was pleased internally, "How ingenious! I do not allow anyone to touch My feet, but he has managed to drink water that has washed My feet! How clever he is!"

অমানী মানদ হইলে কীর্ত্তনে
অধিকার দিবে তুমি ।
তোমার চরণে নিষ্কপটে আমি
কাঁদিয়া লুটিব ভূমি ॥

amani manada haile kirtane
adhikara dibe tumi
tomara charane niskapate ami
kandiya lutiba bhumi

"When I become free from the desire for honour and be able to give honour to others, you will give me the right to chant Your kirtan. I will earnestly roll on the ground and cry at Your holy feet."

কৃপা কর বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর ।
সম্বন্ধ জানিয়া ভজিতে ভজিতে
অভিমান হউ দূর ॥

krpa kara vaisnava thakura
sambandha janiya bhajite bhajite
abhimana hau dura

"O Vaishnav Thakur! Please be merciful! Knowing the true relationship I will worship You and my ego will go far away."

দয়াল বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর
দয়াল বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর
বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর
দয়াল বৈষ্ণব ঠাকুর

Doyal Vaisnava Thakur
Doyal Vaisnava Thakur
Vaisnava Thakur
Doyal Vaisnava Thakur

[His Divine Grace then continues to chant 'Nitai-guna-mani', 'Emona durmati samsara', and 'Gaya Gaura madhur svare'.]

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