(6/8) 'My Constant Sadness'

His Divine Grace Om Vishnupad
Srila Bhakti Nirmal Acharya Maharaj
Preaching programme, morning
Translated into English from Bengali
18 February 2020, part 6

You know, it is your great fortune that you have come to this world...

This is my constant sadness, the source of my pain: There are over six billion people in this world, but I think that not even 600,000 people chant the Holy Name in this world. This is less than even 1% of the total population in this world. What will become of them? I often think about it. After leaving this human body, there can be promotion, and there can also be demotion. You can fall down again. This is written in the scriptures. You have got this human birth by a great fortune. For example, you have a pomelo tree near your house—if you use this tree for the service of the Lord, then in its next birth, this tree will quickly get a human birth and get an opportunity to serve the Lord. But we have already got this human birth! This tree is thinking about a human birth, waiting to get it; even gods in heaven are thinking about getting a human birth, waiting, "When will I again be born as a human and chant the Lord's Name?" But we have already got this human birth, and we are wasting it! Just think how unfortunate it is! Trees, plants and insects are dreaming of a human birth, even gods in heaven, including Lord Indra, dream, "When will I get a human birth? When will I be able to come in touch with the Lord's holy lotus feet and attain devotion? When will I practise Krishna consciousness and return to the abode of the Lord?" But many of us have already got this human birth, but having got this birth, we are not using it for the right purpose—we are not using it for the One for whom we have got this birth. We forget Him who we have got this birth from. This is what makes me sad. There is a very beautiful kirtan. I do not remember it by heart now. I used to remember it, but I have not sung it for a long time. It is a very beautiful kirtan:

ভুলিয়া তোমারে সংসারে আসিয়া
পেয়ে নানাবিধ ব্যথা ।
তোমার চরণে, আসিয়াছি আমি,
বলিব দুঃখের কথা ॥

bhuliya tomare, samsare asiya
peye nana-vidha vyatha
tomara charane, asiyachhi ami,
baliba duhkhera katha

"Forgetting You, I came to this material world and have been suffering from various kinds of miseries. I have now come to Your holy feet to tell You about my sadness."

(Saranagati, Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur)

You must come to the Lord and tell Him about your unhappiness.

জননী-জঠরে ছিলাম যখন,
বিষম বন্ধন-পাশে ।
একবার প্রভু, দেখা দিয়া মোরে,
বঞ্চিলে এ দীন দাসে ॥

janani-jathare, chhilama yakhana,
visama bhandana-pase
eka-bara prabhu! dekha diya more
vanchile e dina dase

While I was bound in the terrible confines of my mother's womb, You once revealed Yourself to me, O Lord! Yet since then You have deprived this poor servant.

তখন ভাবিনু, জনম পাইয়া
করিব ভজন তব ।
জনম হইল, পড়ি’ মায়া-জালে,
না হইলা জ্ঞান-লব ॥

takhana bhavinu, janama paiya,
kariba bhajana tava,
janama ha-ila, padi' maya-jale,
na ha-ila jnana-lava

At that moment I thought I would engage in Your service after taking birth. Yet when I was born, I fell into maya's trap, and not a trace of such consciousness remained.

আদরের ছেলে, স্বজনের কোলে
হাসিয়া কাটানু কাল ।
জনক-জননী- স্নেহেতে ভুলিয়া
সংসার লাগিল ভাল ॥

adarera chhele, svajanera kole,
hasiya katanu kala,
janaka-janani- snehete bhuliya,
samsara lagila bhala

As a son of adoring parents, I spent my time in their laps, smiling and laughing. Because of my mother and father's affection, I forgot You and took pleasure in family life (material existence).

ক্রমে দিন দিন, বালক হইয়া,
খেলিনু বালক সহ ।
আর কিঙুদিনে জ্ঞান উপজিল,
পাঠ পড়ি অহরহঃ ॥

krame dina dina, balaka ha-iya,
khelinu balaka saha
ara kichhu-dine, jnana upajila,
patha padi ahar-ahah

Day by day I grew into a young boy and played with other young boys. Later on my intellect developed, and I studied my lessons day in and day out.

বিদ্যার গৌরবে, ভ্রমি দেশে দেশে,
ধন উপার্জ্জন করি’ ।
স্বজন-পালন, করি এক মনে,
ভুলিনু তোমারে হরি ॥

vidyara gaurave, bhrami' dese dese,
dhana uparjana kari'
svajana-palana, kari eka-mane,
bhulinu tomare hari!

Then on the strength of my learning, I travelled from place to place, earned money, and maintained my family with undivided attention. I forgot You, O Lord!

বার্দ্ধক্যে এখন, ভকতিবিনোদ,
কাঁদিয়া কাতর অতি ।
না ভজিয়া তোরে, দিন বৃথা গেল,
এখন কি হ’বে গতি ॥

varddhakye ekhana, bhakati-vinoda,
kandiya katara ati
na bhajiya tore, dina vrtha gela,
ekhana ki ha'be gati?

Now aged, Bhakti Vinod cries in great distress, "Not serving You, I have passed my days in vain. What will be my fate now?"

When I was in the womb of my mother, You appeared before Me, and then You have deceived me—You were gone. I never thought at that time that I would be born and worship You. Then, I was born, and I had no knowledge—I fell into material bondage. I spent time laughing and playing on the lap of my family; I sit on the lap of my aunt, father, grandmother, uncle, grandfather and so on—I keep changing laps. My family loved me so much that I gradually began to love my material life. I grew up and went to play with my friends in the field. After a while, I went to school and started studying, becoming a great scholar. Proud of my education, I travelled to many places to earn money. During this time, I was busy taking care of my family. I forgot You! Now I have become old and sick. What am I to do now? What will become of me? Now I am thinking, "I will worship You," but is there time left?

People like to say, "I will practise spiritual life when I grow old. I am young now, so I will play and enjoy. I will smoke, drink and go to the cinema." When you are old, you will not be able to walk—your back will pain, your legs will pain. When I call you for parikrama, what do you say? "My knees pain, I cannot come." You can do the parikrama of Vrinda Devi then. The arati, as well as the Tulasi parikrama, is fifteen minutes, but you cannot stand even for five minutes—you sit down because your legs start paining. At this time, another person must be there to hold you to help you walk. So, those who say they will practise later are cheaters—they cheat the Lord! "When I am old, I will practise," "I am young now, so I will enjoy!"—this is all wrong! If you start practising in your young age, you will get more time to practise. You think when you have two or five years until your death, then you will eagerly chant Hare Krishna, but when you fall ill, you will not be able to chant anything. This is cheating. We are cheating the Lord, and we are cheating ourselves. Always remember this. If you do not practise Krishna consciousness timely, you will not be able to practise it. Practise and follow ekadasi from now on.

— : • : —

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Size: 16 Mb
Length: 36 min
Language: Bengali

READ OTHER PARTS:

1) Deposit Your Heart
2) Special Price
3) Watch Your Step
4) Primary Realisation
5) Full-Hearted Appeal
6) 'My Constant Sadness'
7) Become Devoted
8) Decision Is Yours