5, Amara jivana - Humility | Saranagati

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Dainyatmika: Humility

(Song 5)

amara jivana, sada pape rata,
nahika punyera lesa
parere udvega, diyachhi ye kata,
diyachhi jivere klesa [1]

amara–my; jivana–life; sada–always; pape–in sin; rata–engaged; nahika–there is not; punyera–of piety; lesa–a trace; parere–to others; udvega–agitation; diyachhi–I have given; ye–which; kata–so much; diyachhi–I have given; jivere–to other souls; klesa–afflictions. [1]

(1) My life is always engrossed in sin; there is not a trace of piety within it. I have caused others so much anxiety and trouble.

(1) sada pape rata: "Always engrossed in sin." As Sankar Acharya expresses in his Moha-mudgara-stotram:

papo 'ham papa-karmaham papatma papa-sambhavah

"I am sinful, my actions are sinful, my soul is sinful, and my birth is sinful."

nija sukha lagi', pape nahi dari,
daya-hina svartha-para
para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhasi,
para-duhkha sukha-kara [2]

nija–my own; sukha–happiness; lagi'–for the sake; pape–in sin; nahi–do not; dari–I fear; daya–mercy; hina–devoid of; svartha–self-interest; para–intent upon; para–of others; sukhe–by the happiness; duhkhi–distressed; sada–always; mithya–lies; bhasi–speaking; para–of others; duhkha–distress; sukha–happiness; kara–producing. [2]

(2) I am never afraid to engage in sinful activities for the sake of my own happiness. I am merciless and selfish. I am distressed by the happiness of others, I am a perpetual liar, and the distress of others pleases me.

asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora,
krodhi, dambha-parayana
mada-matta sada, visaye mohita,
himsa-garva vibhusana [3]

asesa–unlimited; kamana–sinful desires; hrdi–in the heart; majhe–in the interior; mora–my; krodhi–angry; dambha–arrogance; parayana–filled with; mada–vanity; matta–intoxicated; sada–always; visaye–by mundanity; mohita–infatuated; himsa–malice, jealousy, violence; garva–pride, egotism; vibhusana–ornaments. [3]

(3) There are unlimited sinful desires within the core of my heart. I am angry and arrogant, always maddened with vanity, infatuated with mundanity, and ornamented with malice and pride.

(3) dambha-parayana: "Arrogant." This refers to a dharma-dhvaji, a hypocrite who makes a show of being religious for mundane purposes (lit. one who waves the flag of dharma but does not practise it).

nidralasya-hata, sukarye virata,
akarye udyogi ami
pratistha lagiya, sathya-acharana,
lobha-hata sada kami [4]

nidra–by sleep; alasya–laziness; hata–subdued; sukarye–to good deeds; virata–averse; akarye–for sinful deeds; udyogi–eager; ami–I; pratistha (sammana)–fame (exaltation); lagiya–for; sathya (vanchana)–deceitful; acharana–behaviour; lobha–by greed; hata–attacked, destroyed, conquered; sada–always; kami–covetous. [4]

(4) I am subdued by laziness and sleep, averse to performing good deeds, and eager to perform sinful deeds. I engage in deceitful behaviour in pursuit of prestige. I am ruined by greed and constantly covetous.

e hena durjana, sajjana-varjita,
aparadhi nirantara
subha-karya-sunya, sadanartha-mana,
nana duhkhe jara jara [5]

e–this; hena–such as; durjana–bad person; sajjana–by devotees; varjita–rejected; aparadhi–an offender; nirantara–incessantly; subha–good; karya–motive; sunya–devoid of; sada–always; anartha–evil; mana–minded; nana–various; duhkhe–by miseries; jara–worn; jara–and torn. [5]

(5) Such a sinner as I is shunned by devotees, and is a constant offender. I am devoid of virtuous motives, always intent upon evil, and racked by various miseries.

(5) sadanartha-mana: "Always intent upon evil." This means incessantly malevolent.

varddhakye ekhana, upaya-vihina,
ta'te dina akinchana
bhakati-vinoda, prabhura charane,
kare duhkha nivedana [6]

varddhakye–in old age; ekhana–now; upaya–means; vihina–devoid (of any other); ta'te–thereby; dina–distressed; akinchana (sangati-sunya)–poor (without means); bhakati-vinoda–Bhakti Vinod; prabhura–of the Lord; charane–at the feet; kare–makes; duhkha–sorrow; nivedana–submission. [6]

(6) Now aged, I am devoid of any means of deliverance, and thus destitute and distressed. Bhakti Vinod submits this remorseful confession at the feet of the Lord.

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CONTENTS:

· Translator's Note
· In Praise of Saranagati (1)
· In Praise of Saranagati (2)
· Editor's Note
· Sri Laghu-chandrika-bhasya: Mangalacharana
· Sri Laghu-chandrika-bhasya: Preface

Saranagati:

Mangalacharana